[CanYoAssDigIt] Heard on the radio in Germany...Questionable taste...

Still sorting through experiences in our European trip... still
putting together the little anecdotes before I tackle the really big,
interesting stories...

Them new fangled country boys sure know how to show a gal a real fine time!

Harmless fun:
Brad Paisley Ticks Lyrics

Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.

Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your front
Now, I'd hate to waste a night like this
I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.

You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
Babe that ain't what I want.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

You never know where one might be
There's lots of places that are hard to reach
I gotcha.

I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you baby way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
I'd sure like to check you for ticks...

*****

Just don't try it in real life:

Tick 'finder' receives probation
Man who sexually assaulted women to continue treatment
By DAVID DOEGE
ddoege@journalsentinel.com
Posted: July 2, 2007

Waukesha - A small-business operator who sexually assaulted several
women by telling them they had a tick on them before touching their
buttocks and, in some cases, pulling their pants down was sentenced
Monday to three years' probation.
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Michael F. Knurr was sentenced after his defense attorney told
Waukesha County Circuit Judge Ralph Ramirez that Knurr's behavior was
apparently rooted in some form of mental illness.

"There was some kind of breakdown," Gerald Boisits said of Knurr, who
insists he can recall virtually nothing of the encounters that ran him
afoul of the law.

But one woman who was sexually assaulted by Knurr in her yard regarded
his memory loss as a convenient excuse and said he was unbelievably
brash, following her into her home.

"After all you did to me you gave me your business card," the woman
said in court of Knurr, who operates a tree service. "Unbelievable.

"You are a disturbed individual. You need to get professional help."

Knurr, 39, of Mukwonago, was sentenced by Ramirez on three counts of
fourth-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanor. As a condition of his
probation, Ramirez ordered that Knurr, a father of two with no prior
criminal record, continue receiving mental health treatment.
Underwent therapy

Boisits indicated that Knurr underwent inpatient therapy since the
encounters came to light and he is taking four medications. The
treatment and medications, according to Boisits, have improved Knurr
since he first came to his office to discuss his legal troubles.

"He appeared in my office, and I honestly could not understand
anything he was talking about," Boisits said.

Knurr was charged for incidents that occurred last year from June to
November in Muskego, New Berlin and Waukesha.

In one case, the criminal complaint says, a New Berlin woman, 32,
called Knurr for an estimate to remove a tree.

As they were walking, the complaint says, Knurr told the woman about a
tick. She told him to get it off and pulled her shorts down slightly.
She felt a pinch on her left buttock. He said, "I got it."

She looked at his hand and didn't see a tick, but she thanked him. He
said, "Oh no, it was my pleasure."

In another instance, the complaint says, he told a woman asking about
having a tree removed that there was a tick on her, and he put his
hand down her pants and groped her buttocks.

Knurr pleaded no contest in the case.

Prosecutors think Knurr used the routine on at least 16 women, not all
of whom were assaulted.

Knurr apologized in court Monday and said he hoped his troubled
behavior was a thing of the past, telling Ramirez, "I hope nothing
will happen."

"I just want to put this behind me and get on with my life," he said.

In sentencing Knurr, Ramirez stayed a 90-day jail term, time he said
Knurr's probation agent could use as he sees fit if troubles develop
during his supervision.

From the July 3, 2007 editions of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
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