[CanYoAssDigIt] That's our boy!

In big, big news, our boy Robert Blake makes Chuck Shepherd's News Of
the Weird! Check it out:

http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/nw050403.html

Apparently important to actor Robert Blake's acquittal on a murder
charge in March was the lack of credibility of the prosecution's
witnesses, including an alleged methamphetamine abuser who once
thought his house was surrounded by large, horned animals and "people
dressed like sagebrush or Joshua trees." To testify that drug users
are unreliable witnesses, the defense presented a UCLA
psychopharmacologist who revealed that in the course of his own drug
use 25 years ago, he had once crawled into a cage of monkeys that were
smoking crack cocaine. [Los Angeles Times, 3-4-05]

And in totally unimportant news, Human Rights Watch presents evidence
that top Bush Administration officials responsible for widespread
torture and abuse of prisoners in locations all over the globe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Human Rights Watch is demanding that a special prosecutor be named to
investigate Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, former CIA director
George Tenet and other top officials for possible war crimes related
to the torture and abuse of prisoners.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An internal investigation by the Army's inspector general has cleared
four of the Army's top five officers in Iraq of any wrongdoing in
connection to the torture of Iraqi detainees at the Abu Ghraib prison.
Unless new evidence emerges, the investigation effectively ends the
Army's investigation into its role in the abuse at the Abu Ghraib
prison.

Meanwhile, Human Rights Watch has demanded that a special prosecutor
be named to investigate Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, former CIA
director George Tenet and other top officials for possible war crimes
related to the torture and abuse of prisoners.

The report, titled "Getting Away with Torture? Command Responsibility
for the U.S Abuse of Detainees" - found that there was overwhelming
evidence of widespread mistreatment and abuse of Muslim prisoners not
only at Abu Ghraib but throughout Afghanistan and Iraq, Guantanamo Bay
and other "secret locations" around the world. The report also called
for investigations of Lt. General Ricardo Sanchez - the former top U.S
commander in Iraq - and General Geoffery Miller the former commander
of the prison camp at Guantanamo Bay.

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[CanYoAssDigIt] By Popular Demand...

My ex-wife, Kali the Destroyer, and her sisters were always calling
people dicks. He's a dick, you're a dick, dick this, dick that,
everywhere a dick dick, it got on my nerves something fierce. My penis
took it personally. One time we were with the whole famn damily going
some where on a long trip. I got dicked off one too many times.

"Cunt," I said to Kali. "I think the word you are looking for is 'cunt.'"

She burst into tears, and things got very quiet and tense, I can tell you.

I felt aggrieved; she was dishing it out, but she couldn't take it. It
never occurred to her that she was saying something that was a little
offensive to Little Elvises everywhere?

I guess that cunt is at least a magnitude stronger than dick, maybe
several. But it was one cunt in response to 50,000 dicks, you know?
After enduring the death of a thousand cuts, I cut off somebody's big
toe. Metaphorically, of course.

I look back on that with some pride, because I learned to not say
anything, just to suffer in silence, and I got really fucked up. I
look at my younger self with some pride - I may have been intemperate,
but I was bold.

I like how British men use the word cunt - liberally, with extreme
venom, on each other. It's a very satisfying word, actually, and
after hearing dick and prick until I am sick, hearing cunt is what I
want.

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[CanYoAssDigIt] Fwd: ywr

I have changed the name of this list from "The Big Stupid" to the
same name as my blog, "Can Yo' Ass Dig It" because I decided I wanted
to use it not only to communicate all the stupid things in the world,
but also the positive things.

Positive things like this one; I want to call attention to the
tremendous advancements in Wife 2.0 over Wife 1.0. Wife 1.0 found it
impossible to say the three most beautiful words in the English
language. I am referring, of course, to "You Were Right."

Over breakfast yesterday morning somehow the subject of the song
"Buffalo Gals" came up. Wife 2.0 said that not only did she think the
song was a racist song about Black prostitutes ( Buffalo, like
"Buffalo Soldiers"), but she remembered hearing that from me.

I said that:

1. I didn't think Buffalo Soldiers was a slur, it was a name given in
admiration to black cavalry by Indians, who thought they were
formidable, and their hair reminded them of the buffalo.

But more to the point:

B. I believed that Buffalo Gals was merely referring to Gals from Buffalo (NY).

I reminded her that we have this thing called the Internet, and that
we should look it up because I love hearing those three magic words.

So while I was slaving over a hot DVD over at Joe's place last night
("Thunderbirds Are Go") Wife 2.0 did some googling, and was satisfied
by the sources she found that the three magic words were in order. You
will note that while Wife 1.0 found saying them impossible, Wife 2.0
merely finds saying them exceedingly difficult (thus, the acronym in
the subject line, not the message written out).

I believe that the success of a marriage depends on the wife's ability
to admit when she is wrong, and I am happy to report that I am
experiencing a quality marriage.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Anne Sales
Date: Apr 22, 2005 9:50 PM
Subject: ywr
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com

http://www.story-lovers.com/listsbuffalogals.html

Love,

A

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[CanYoAssDigIt] TheBigStupid group name/addresses have changed

Hello,

The moderator of the TheBigStupid group has changed the group's name.
This means that both the group's email address and the group home page
location have changed.

The group email address:
CanYoAssDigIt@yahoogroups.com

The group home page location:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CanYoAssDigIt

If you have links which point to this group or an address book entry
for the group, you should update them, as the old addresses will no
longer work.

Regards,

Yahoo! Groups Customer Care

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[TheBigStupid] A fatal dose?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: mitch king
Date: Apr 22, 2005 12:10 PM
Subject: [Jandek] Great Cover
To: jandek@mylist.net

Just got my box of 20 [Jandek CDs} in the mail today. Got mostly
the later period stuff first,since I am
familiar with the early stuff. Just had to say the
cover for "When I Took That Train" is one of the best
Jandek covers so far, I Love it, the listening
begins.......... Mitch in Fl.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

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jandek@mylist.net
http://mylist.net/listinfo/jandek

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[TheBigStupid] Holy Smoke! (Get it?)

Soo the other day the poope sanate or whatever were trying to be soo
native amarican and it was soo embarrasing. There were these smooke
signals and noobody knew what color they were, helloo? Soo I was like
doon't you people know what colors are, or maybe it's a new secret
color that means they hired a tamporary poope or whatever.

Soo finally they stop being immature and make up their minds and the
new poope comes out and he's german or something and he looks all mean
and scary and he probably din't waste any time like he's alrady
stuffing it up litte boys, i bet. And guess what? He looks just like
that yallow bastard from that sin city movie. Ew.

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[TheBigStupid] The Bluebird of Paradise

Ms. 2008,

May I call you avec?

Fate she is kind in this account, as by marvelous coincidence we are
on one same discussion and I too enjoy the pleasure. I shall be one
number of friends you make.

I am outgoing, some times. Oh, but I'm considered pretty, in
Bakersfield where I do not live. I am so sexy for my job. I can both
ship and recieve pleasure and too the happiness.

Without a homepage email can be recieved by me at
sugarzareh@yahoo.com.

I look in the front direction by connection of hearing from you.

Love,
sugarzareh

PS to Mr. Loav:
Please to be backing away.

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[TheBigStupid] Re: [Canadianclassicrocksuckers] Digest Number 339

Hey Avec2008

That's kind of an unusual name, but I expect your parents knew what
they were doing.

I like pleasure, it's one of my favorite things.

That's why I create music, to give myself pleasure and to bring
pleasure to others.

If you'd like to experience some extreme pleasure, listen to some of
my music at

www.soundclick.com/MrRoboto
www.soundclick.com/BloodParadise
www.soundclick.com/Bureaucratica

I'm sure you'll love it. Then write a 1000 word essay exploring the
links between my music and the recent alarming warming trends at the
earth's poles. E-mail it to me, and then I will decide if you can be
my friend.

Good luck, many feel called, but few are chosen!

Matt

On 20 Apr 2005 19:27:54 -0000,
Canadianclassicrocksuckers@yahoogroups.com
wrote:
>
>
> There is 1 message in this issue.
>
> Topics in this digest:
>
> 1. New girl wanna chat with you!
> From: "oi5874dfs"
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 07:20:12 +0800
> From: "oi5874dfs"
> Subject: New girl wanna chat with you!
>
> Nice girl want to make some friends and enjoy pleasure with those who can be my friend.
>
> I'm outgoing and nice looking, and very sexy too.I like those who can give me pleasure and happiness, of course I'd like to give them pleasure too!
>
> have a look of my homepage and mail me:
>
> avec2008
>
> http://freefriend.zu5.net/
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>

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[TheBigStupid] Not Stupid

check out this page when you get the chance:
http://www.tramavirtual.com.br/lulina

I'm listening to Christmas Lights right now - man, Nigel did such
brilliant work on this...

Check out her list of influences: Minha vó, assuntos alienígenas,
Dostoievski, Truffaut, playmobil, super nintendo, Bruce Lee, Manuel
Bandeira, formigas, Velvet Underground, Cat Power, Belle and
Sebastian, Beat Happening, Stereolab, Sônia Rocha, Clarice Lispector,
John Fante, Stephen Hawking, número 13, meus amigos, cerveja.

And she does a song about Jerry Lewis. Kinda strange.

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[TheBigStupid] Why I Am Bitter

I left music school in disgrace, my professors never ceding an inch in
their insistence that a trombone mute would not work on a dog. FOOLS!

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[TheBigStupid] Public Service Announcement

Icepac comin atcha

you know how all us bigtime rappers are always changing their names?
Well, I've been goin by Icepac for at least 15 minutes, and I think
it's time for a change.

I saw about a hundred posters in the U District for an upcoming show
by Flava Flav. You know the guy from Public Enemy who wore the giant
clock onstage when he performed. Was that cool or what?

It struck me like a bolt out of the hood - I gotta keep it real, keep
it old school. My new name is "Bungho Bung." Instead of a giant clock
around my neck, I will perform with a giant rectal thermometer in my -
well, you know.

Stay tuned for appearences by my new posse, Public Enema.

Word

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[TheBigStupid] Fwd: [iChat] hail all graphic designers, or people with an artsy side

After last year's debacle (or was it the year before?) any logo they
have for this event should include some biting teeth!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Emily N Inlow
Date: Apr 19, 2005 2:04 PM
Subject: [iChat] hail all graphic designers, or people with an artsy side
To: ichat@u.washington.edu

How would you like to see your unique design featured at this year's
Information School Party, a.k.a. the Spring Fling? We are looking for
someone to design a Spring Fling logo to use in the decorations. And
as an added incentive, we are offering a small prize to the winning
design!

For more information, contact Emily Inlow, at inlowe@u.washington.edu

_______________________________________________
iChat mailing list
iChat@u.washington.edu
http://mailman1.u.washington.edu/mailman/listinfo/ichat

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[TheBigStupid] The Language Watch...

On NPR this morning, regarding new dietary standards from the
government: "The serving size for fat is one teaspoon - but people
never equate that right."

and from a list I'm on:
***

A genuine e-mail that has just arrived in my inbox:

"sir,
Im a Under Graduate in Computer Science and im very inmtrested in
AI .How do i start leaning with it wud be gr8 if i can be given the
oppurtinity to be involved in some project.Can u plz guide me on
this :-)

thanking you"

Suggestions that Artificial Intelligence and humans will meet halfway
appear to be wildly optimistic...

***

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Re: [TheBigStupid] K Records - lying sacks

It's just that Nam hasn't given Calvin a bwow job.

Matt Love wrote:

>I just got a mailing from K Records today. Among other items:
>
>Fred Thomas / Nedelle split 45 (Ypsilanti)
>A single featuring Fred Thomas and Nedelle, made especially for their
>tour around the U.S. They stopped in Olympia last week and delivered a
>handful to the K Mail Order Dept., which also distributes a 45 by Fred
>Thomas' band Saturday Looks Good to Me, "The Girl's Distracted".
>
>Damn it, I hate it when people lie to me and I find out. I'm sure they
>lie to me all the time, and I'm happy as a clam until I find out, and
>then it really pisses me off. Compair this with what they said to me
>before:
>
>---------- Forwarded message ----------
>From: Mariella Luz
>Date: Feb 3, 2005 3:13 PM
>Subject: RE: [Fwd: Your print catalog]
>To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com
>Cc: joel@krecs.com
>
>
>Hi Matt-
>
>I am sorry but we don't carry other artist at this time. We stopped doing
>outside distribution a couple of years ago and now we only sell our own
>stuff. Good luck!
>
>thanks,
>Mariella
>
>From: Matt Love
>Date: 2005/02/03 Thu AM 09:52:54 PST
>To: info@krecs.com
>Subject: Your print catalog
>
>Dear Sir or Ms:
>
>While it appears that the online catalog only contains music released
>on the K label, does the print catalog still contain other artists?
>
>I ask because I am working to help artist Nam Seung Hee to try to gain
>an audience outside of South Korea where she is based.
>
>Her music is acoustic guitar based rock. Most of her songs are in
>Korean, but I feel the beauty of the material transcends language.
>
>I have no interest in this other than friendship; I'm not a manager or
>promoter, just an old guy with a couple of early recordings on K
>(Wimps and Manta Man on the Lets Together compilation) who's trying to
>support a talented young artist.
>
>Is there room in the catalog for CDs by Nam Seung Hee?
>
>Thank you,
>
>Matt Love
>
>
>
>Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

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[TheBigStupid] :the:black:suns:of:resistance: wears army boots

This is great, some guy was egosurfing his band's name, and he found
my website, because I posted a musicians classified ad because the guy
was so stupid. Seems this guy has a beef with the guy too!

Hey Mr. :the:black:suns:of:resistance:, if you end up back here on
your next egosurfing safari, check out my music at

www.soundclick.com/mrroboto
www.soundclick.com/bloodparadise
www.soundclick.com/bureaucratica

You'll never want to sacrifice another infant again, you'll want to
sacrifice ME!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: :the:black:suns:of:resistance:
Date: Apr 15, 2005 8:47 PM
Subject: [Can Yo' ass Dig It?] 4/15/2005 08:38:17 PM
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com

that is bullshit..that is an old unearthly trance guitarist who QUIT
many years ago and and is using MY bands to try to get some members..
WEAK!

--
Posted by :the:black:suns:of:resistance: to Can Yo' ass Dig It? at
4/15/2005 08:38:17 PM

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[TheBigStupid] K Records - lying sacks

I just got a mailing from K Records today. Among other items:

Fred Thomas / Nedelle split 45 (Ypsilanti)
A single featuring Fred Thomas and Nedelle, made especially for their
tour around the U.S. They stopped in Olympia last week and delivered a
handful to the K Mail Order Dept., which also distributes a 45 by Fred
Thomas' band Saturday Looks Good to Me, "The Girl's Distracted".

Damn it, I hate it when people lie to me and I find out. I'm sure they
lie to me all the time, and I'm happy as a clam until I find out, and
then it really pisses me off. Compair this with what they said to me
before:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mariella Luz
Date: Feb 3, 2005 3:13 PM
Subject: RE: [Fwd: Your print catalog]
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com
Cc: joel@krecs.com

Hi Matt-

I am sorry but we don't carry other artist at this time. We stopped doing
outside distribution a couple of years ago and now we only sell our own
stuff. Good luck!

thanks,
Mariella

From: Matt Love
Date: 2005/02/03 Thu AM 09:52:54 PST
To: info@krecs.com
Subject: Your print catalog

Dear Sir or Ms:

While it appears that the online catalog only contains music released
on the K label, does the print catalog still contain other artists?

I ask because I am working to help artist Nam Seung Hee to try to gain
an audience outside of South Korea where she is based.

Her music is acoustic guitar based rock. Most of her songs are in
Korean, but I feel the beauty of the material transcends language.

I have no interest in this other than friendship; I'm not a manager or
promoter, just an old guy with a couple of early recordings on K
(Wimps and Manta Man on the Lets Together compilation) who's trying to
support a talented young artist.

Is there room in the catalog for CDs by Nam Seung Hee?

Thank you,

Matt Love

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[TheBigStupid] A Younger Girl

Of course we like it. EVEN without a specific person in mind, the
proportion of girls who are younger has risen to include just about
all of them.

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[TheBigStupid] Fwd: Matt - Your CD Baby Order! (#826588)

for once, I'm not complaining about something stupid. In fact, I think
this is pretty damn cool and funny. I will order from them again!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: CD Baby loves Matt
Date: Apr 15, 2005 8:06 PM
Subject: Matt - Your CD Baby Order! (#826588)
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com

Matt -

Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

Shipping Address
================
Matt Love
11015 ECKENSTAM JOHNSON RD
ANDERSON ISLAND, WA 98303-9618
Email: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com

Qty Description Price Total
=== =========== ===== =====
1 DARREN LOCK: sows' ears & silk purses $7.99 $7.99
1 DANGER BIRD: lord stevens $12.99 $12.99

Sub Total $20.98
Shipping $3.85
Grand Total $24.83

Your CDs have been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with
sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CDs and polished them to make
sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over
the crowd as he put your CDs into the finest gold-lined box that
money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party
marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of
Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in
our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, April 15th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did.
Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year". We're all
exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you once again,

Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby
the little CD store with the best new independent music
phone: 1-800-448-6369 email: cdbaby@cdbaby.com
http://www.cdbaby.com

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Welcome to the TheBigStupid group

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Re: [Canadianclassicrocksuckers] Digest Number 337

Nice boy say big problem with military - bang bang shoot shoot kill
people, beat wives and girlfriends too no good.

Fuck a hippy, live happily ever after.

www.soundclick.com/sonsofsarookh

On 12 Apr 2005 22:59:01 -0000,
Canadianclassicrocksuckers@yahoogroups.com
wrote:
>
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> There is 1 message in this issue.
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> Topics in this digest:
>
> 1. Announcement!
> From: "yit_05"
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005 22:21:51 +0800
> From: "yit_05"
> Subject: Announcement!
>
> Nice girl want to make some friends in military and enjoy pleasure with those who can be my friend.
>
> I'm outgoing and nice looking, and very sexy too.
>
> have a look of my homepage and mail me:
>
> avec2008
>
> http://freefriend.zu5.net/
>
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