It's All About Me, Man: [CanYoAssDigIt] Songwriter Showdown

Friday, March 07, 2008

[CanYoAssDigIt] Songwriter Showdown

I left word for Bruno to give me a call when he was going out, but I
don't think he ever got the message, so finally hunger drove me from
my room and down into the pub on the first floor at the hotel to have
a solo meal.

I picked my table, and as I was heading for it, around the corner from
the other direction, heading for the same table but a little further
away, was Glen Ballard, the co-writer and producer of Alanis
Morissette's Jagged Little Pill, a little record you might have heard
of. It sold 33 million copies world wide.

I sort of instinctively dived for the table, and made ready to invite
him (and the two people that were with him, probably equally important
personages like the Pope of Rock and Roll and the Queen of English
Rock and Roll - neither of them was Alanis) to join me. I imagined
the conversation that would ensue.

Me: You know, Glen, you and I both studied journalism in school. I
think that's the key to successful songwriting; keeping it real,
writing about what you know.

Glen: that's a fascinating insight, Matt, I never thought of it that way.

***

Me: The way l see it, people would rather suffer with what they have
than try the unknown.

Glen: Oh, is that true.

Matt: That's because most men lead lives of quiet desperation.

Glen: Oh, is that right!

***

Me: Well, I know she likes to mix it up, working with new people
keeps things fresh for her. I could put in a good word for you.

Glen: Wow, would you that would be great! Thanks, man.

Me: Hey, no problem. Writing Christmas Lights with Lulina was one of
my proudest achievements in song writing, maybe you'll be able to do
something equally good with her!

***

But instead he just gave me a look that suggested he was making a
mental note to have me beat up later, and he slinked off to another
table with his companions. I guess my plan might have worked better
if the place hadn't been mostly empty. D'oh!