I got some glurge on Facebook and I got to thinking (sometimes my wife lets me do that) Following is my thoughts. Following that is the original glurge that inspired my thoughts.
Glurge, like Urban Legends, and teen slasher movies (at least the ones that are 'sticky' have a point. Bad behavior, such as making out in a car or thinking for yourself, has consiquences, usually deadly. Yet here we have a case of a young person obeying mom, not drinking, and getting offed anyway. The message is clear - don't go to parties! Young people should never leave home. Perhaps never leave the kitchen, where they bake cookies, barefoot and pregnant. As with the Sarah Palin family model, they should be prepared to get married, particularly when the glare of the nation's media is turned on you, and your moose hunting mother's political ambitions will suffer setback if you don't at least pretend to intend to do something real straight arrow at some ill-defined point in the near or middle future.
As a teenage death story, this one lacks the siing songy tunefullness of "Tell Laura I Love Her" The anthemic thump of "Leader Of the Pack", the pathos of teen angel.
I think the person that wrote this needs to study the mother of all death songs, "DOA" by Bloodrock, with churns the stomach with the grizzly, explicit lyrics, and the repellent music. There is an enjoyable essay about the song at:
www.furious.com/perfect/bloodrock.htmlIt matches the nihilism of the "I went to a party" glurge... the lesson is also that random bad things will happen to you if you leave your house!
Don't fly! I'm in Seattle right now. On Sunday we'll fly back to Edmonton in a smallish plane. I'll be thinking about DOA the whole trip.
This song has won the title of "worst song of all time" many times. Many people believe it never should have been released. In that regard, it out glurges the glurgiest of glurge. In case you are unfamiliar with this masterpiece, I include the lyrics her for your edification (and the edification of the glurgemeister, wherever he or she may be) - learn from Bloodrock! Learn to fear everything.
D.O.A
Bloodrock
Bloodrock 2
Laying here looking at the ceiling
Someone lays a sheet across my chest
Something warm is flowing down my fingers
Pain is flowing all through my back
I try to move my arms and there's no feeling
And when I look I see there's nothing there
The face beside me stopped it totally bleeding
The girl I knew has such a distant stare
I remember
We were flying along and hit something in the air
I remember
We were flying along and hit something in the air
Then I looked straight at the attendant
His face is pale as it can be
He bends and whispers something softly
He says there's no chance for me
I remember
We were flying along and hit something in the air
I remember
We were flying along and hit something in the air
Life is flowing out my body
Pain is flowing out with my blood
The sheets are red and moist where I'm lying
God in Heaven, teach me how to die
I remember
We were flying along and hit something in the air
I remember
We were flying along and hit something in the air
And now, how about a glurgefest:
I went to a party,
Judi Johnson
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die. < /FONT>
So why do people do it, Mum
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mum
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mum,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mum!'
So I love you and good-bye.
MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) IS HOPING TO GET 5,000 SIGNATURES ON THIS,
THEN PASS IT ON TO SIGN.
When this petition has reached 5,000, please return it to:
MADD
P.O . Box 541688
Dallas , TX75354-1688
1-800-GET-MADD (1-800-438-6233)
If you receive this petition and do nothing but delete it, your selfishness knows no bounds. Signing is such a small effort to make.
After you have read the poem, please add your name at the bottom. And never forget,
DON'T EVER DRINK AND DRIVE , not even once, thinking that it won't matter
IT DEFINITELY WILL MATTER!!!
How to set it up:
* Click on Forward
* SIGN YOUR NAME AT THE BOTTOM .
* Then send it to everyone you know.
THE NAMES:
1.. Adam Ross Kalesperis
2. Deanne Perozzi
3. Raphal Nash
4. Courtney Easter
5. James Chandler.
6. Tracy Lamont
7. Traci Arbisi
8. Faye Hollenbeck
9. Devin E. Davis
10. Starla Shaver
11. Theresa Brehm
12. Lisa Brehm
13. Courtney Barnett
14. Erika Hurst
15. Kym Moschgat
16. Michael Hansen
17. Matt Weston
18. Laura Bunch
19. Daniel Lawson
20. Ashley Byrd
21. Brian Chadwell
22. Bonnie Morrical
23. Susan S
24. Michele Zader.
25. Denise Marie Haines
26. Keshia Marie Siders
27. Amy Sue Tresenrider
28. Tracie Balthaser
29. Diana Kaufman
30. Brooke Newkirk
31. AARONBLACKBURN
32. Christina M.B.
33. Crystal Mckenzie
34. Kate Laroche
35. C! allie Firman
36. Christy Turner
37. Rebecca Turner
38. Elena Thomas
39. Missy Burke
40. Erin McCalla
41. Lindsay Potrafke
42. Jenny Eckel
43. Cassandra Duggan
44. Amy Liebisch
45. Eric Widmeyer
46. Alisa Huth
47. Pam Augustine
48. Leanne Trdinich
49. Megan LeDonne
50. Kristen Kennedy
51. Mara Bennardo
52. Lisa Wilt
53. Amanda Pieta
54. David DiCosol
55. Connie Carozza
56. Jaime Jacoby
57. Erin Edm! unds
58. Erin Berecek
59. Becky Porter
60. Alana Miller
61. Carrie Vermillion
62. Susan Spearing
63. Gaye Sougstad
64. LynnSnider
65. DavidShores
66 Carol Conway
67. Natalie Fair
68. Alissa Lloyd
69. Rebecca Wheeler
70. Lisa Riedel
71. Eric Vaughan
72. Danielle Seaman
73. Elizabeth Ambrose
74. Katy Mahannah
75. Susan Hall
76. MIRANDA CUNDY!!
77. Meg Kells-Murphy
78. Samantha Kaiser
79. Travis Lincoln
80. Randy
81. Chris Virgate
82. Matthew Burbles
83 Crystal Dambowsky
84. Kyle freaken McEneany
85. Krystal Scharn
86. Lau!ra Rothrock
87. Bethany Bucci
88. Amy Sat! kevich
89. Christine Rich
90. Courtney Reilly
91. Lauren Tighe
92. Jac! kie White
93. Liz Farrell
94. Kathryn M.
95. Heather Anne Lowery
96. Katie Jo
97. Cara Brenner
98. Emily Green
99. Emily Harris
100. Emily Chen
101. Sarah Schererm
102. Eric Eisenberg
103. SlickDan Goldstein
104. Abby Kimmelman
105. Alyssa Lee
106. David Hoffman
107. Celia Kather
108. Susan Ginn
109. Carly Smith
110. Anna Karis
111. Alison Deffenbaugh
112. Litzi Paredes
113. Teresa Eldridge
114. Stephanie Reese
115. Jamie Turner
116. Jenny Showalter
117. Meg Wooldridge
118. Kevin T$chai
119. Loan Nguyen
120. Elizabeth Yorns
121. Katie McGowan
122. Angie Henderson
123. The Troyfish of VT
124. Nat alie Corrigan of VT
125. Dyanis Conrad
126. Vasil! Popov
127. Marie Huitt
128. Jessi McMa! han
129. Courtney Kelly
130. Tracy Smithsher
132. Sally J. James- in memory of...
133. Rachael Harness
134.. Jan E. Conley
135.. Kari M.Fellers
136. Dawn Love
137. Staci Smith
138. Douglas Blair
139. Brooke Rhea
140. Rachel Hammons
141. Brian Gallion
142. Ben Morrow
143. William Burden
144. Erica M. Smothers
145 Jason Wilchie
146. Frank Smith
147. Kevin Rider
148. Matt Masley- In memory of Alison, killed by drunk driver/1998.
149. Deepak Deean
150 Liz Dedrick
151. Jessa
152. Maureen (MO
153. Dawn O.
154. Paul M.~Peewee
155. Vanessa R.~Venus
156. RyanCabral (stangman)
157. Rachel Miller
158! Christy Fairlie
159. Julie Snyder
160. Alex La
161. Mariah Reyes
162. Brandon Castrejon
163. Ashley L
164. Jeffrey Yamauchi
165. Lois Kuo
166. Priscilla Kuo
167. Me! i W.W
168. Gennie W. Alasagas
169. P.J R. Alasagas
170. Charina Gonzales
171. Nieves M. Ague
172. Calley Redd
173. Alexandra Hart
174. Lisa Peterson
175. Amber Neil
176. Mandy Cox
177. MICHELLE REQUA
178. Meghan Anne Meyer --- In memory of James & Kendall died from drunk driver01/01/96 .
179. LAUREN BUTTLAR
180. Brandie Thomas
181. Lorianna Moreno
182. Kris Jensen - In memory of Pat Byrd, killed by a drunk driver 01/99
183. Katie Essig
184. Jenny Haney- In memory of Shane Moore & Anthony Saucedod - July 9, 2000 when they were driving drunk.
185. Kim Jones
186. Sarah Bellamy
18! 7. Jon McInturff
188.ElizabethPrice
189. Lesley Kuras
190. Kellyn Blossom
191. Jenna Cullinane
192. Katherine Gritter
193. Ben Thompson
194. Andrea Durell - In memory of the choad car...
195. Erin Rae Lengkeek
196. Tiffany Megan Lott
197. Carrie Deathriage
198. Melissa Mao
199. Emily Leong
200.. Jill Burkholder
201. Meghan Cloud
202. SLS
203. Karen Roy
204. Kasey Kniffin
205. Tom Miyashiro - this is for u joe...
206. Jesse Jet Bellefleur
207 Pamichic
208. Fionaap
209. Ann McDermott
210. Gina Cerrito
211. Johnny Horn
212. Melissa Coleman
213. Morgan Saltsgiver
214. Erin Warrner
215. Jennifer Warrner
216. Kayla JOY McKenzie
217. Alison L.
218. Denise M. Malagari
219. Amber Lynn Chesebrough
220. Holly Chesebrough
221. Daryl DuLong
222. Diana Lupa
223. Todd J. Pipitone
224. Eric W. Davies
225. Kristin Landis
226.LINDA DUNKERLEY
227. Elaine Johnson
228. Janet Perry
229 Jenny Brown
230 Shirley Walker Werrett
231. rebecca marie chesser
230.Wendy Pike
231.Garry Moore
232. Andrew Pollard
233. Brian Gray
234. Emma Astley
235. Gareth Davies
236. Jon evans.
237. Andrew Evans Who took great pleasure arresting drink drivers
238. Elaine Rees
239 Laura Williams
240 Andrew Nicholson
241 Sarah Nicholson
242 Gemma Peterson
243 Cheryl Peterson
244 Jan Church
245 Rachael Walker
246 Delphine Parsons
247P:M: Fernandez
248 Lindsay Phillips
249 Adrian Phillips
250 Jonathan Nash
251 Daniel Matthews
252 Sue Tagg
253 Carl Wileman
254 Amanda Taft
255 Helen Gray
256 Sandra Tuck
257 Sam Cattanes
258 Josh Davis
259 Keelan Ling
260 Sasha Osmond
261 Adrian Osmond
262 Anne Lang
263 Wendy Moore
264 Adrienne Whittock
265 Gail Baker
266 Haley Saunders
267 Danni Walling
268 Alan cousins
269 Jo Birkin
270 Neil Mellors
271 Lorraine McLean
272 John Reidy
273 Ellen Gilmartin
274 Stephen R Ross
275 Sharon Mclintock
276 Lorraine Faulds
277 Trevor Connaughton
278 Jean Doherty
279 Jackie Smith
280. Ron wigg
281. Ray Cooke, for Pat McClean C.P. Tragicaly run down, while walking his dog.
282 Kellie Stubbings
283. Stacey Rosendale
284 .Cheryl Thommers
285. Claudette Lovett
286. Lorenzo Paragallo
287. Staycee Charles
288. Kristopher Paragallo
289. Robert Charles
300. Natasha Leech
301. Julie Calleja
302. Hilda Stewart
303. Karen Mobourne
304 Margaret Oates
305 Angela Chittem
306 Maina Kerehoma
307 Michael McInerney
308 Mervat Attia
309 Michelle Barden
310 Marion Lawton
311 Vicki Prince
312 Sonja Prince
313 Rebecka Sumsion
314 Byron Talagi
315. Joanne Michalopoulos
316. Carla Rahme
317...... Helen Steele
318.Andreas Neumerkel
319. Daniel Bruntsch
320.Christine Bruntsch
321. Robyn O'Reilly
322. Michael O'Reilly
323. Bernardette Slattery
324. Nicola Arciuli
325. Bev Kahn
326. Margaret Page
327. Dina Panozo
328. Edith Bliss
329. Nikki Bliss
330. Barbi Donnet Carver
331. Jacquie Marsh
332. Tracy Imbs
333. Cathie Gibson - In memory of David
334. Emma Harley
335. Jock scott
336. Louise Cheeseman
337. Ben Santer
338. Sami Baugh
339. Amy Dunton
440. Emma Louise Nicell
441. Cheryl Oliver
442. Neil Sweeting
443. lesley forster
343. Ruth Dixon
444. Lindsey Wood
445, troubled pink
446 Sally-Ann
447 Delaine Tunnycliffe
448 Angela Foran
--
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