Willie Sighting

When I was in Austin last week I saw Willie Nelson waiting for the
bus. Man, he looked terrible, about 150 years old.

Actually, I saw him more than once. I saw him all over town.
Sometimes in more than one place at the same time.

Fwd: An Incoherent Threat

horizontally, face down?

On Apr 6, 2005 9:53 AM, PaSibley@PityDaFool.Com wrote:
> From the XYZ intranet:
> Quality Quote of the Month
> If you're not serving the customer, you'd better be serving someone who is -
> Albrecht and Zemke

Language Watch

In a presentation at the ARSC conference that I just returned from.
One presenter pressed ahead with his findings before he was fully
ready, because he felt his process is revolutionary and necessary. He
concluded:

"I apologize that my presentation was so disjointed, but I've been
going like a horse afire!"

Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran, 67, Dies

Cockran at least did some good in his life, unlike Dubya. Oh wait,
Dubya did some good blow in his life, you have to give him that.

* Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran, 67, Dies *

Best known for representing O.J. Simpson, Cochran for years represented
victims of police brutality and government oppression. In 1997 he won the
freedom of Black Panther leader Geronimo ji Jaga Pratt who spent 27 years in
jail for a crime he did not commit.

Listen/Watch/Read
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/03/30/1544254

Update...

Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know what I'm up too these days. I
appreciate the support you've given me in the past, those quarters you
tossed into my guitar case kept me in ciggies and mad dog. I'm
currently not doing much music. After hearing the genius of Alex Carr
(check his stuff out at http://www.alexcarr.org) I decided it was time
to try my hand at something else for a while. It was like, "never as
good as you, Alex," you know what I mean?

I was a little aimless for a while, but I sort of fell into
performance art when I tripped on a chair leg at a coffee shop open
mic a while back. I impaled myself on a mandolin. It was painful, but
the applause from the audience made it worth it, and convinced me I
was onto something.

My current performance involves sawing off my head with the serrated
edge of a shark's tooth, and then reattached it with twine made from
miles of spider web. After that I release a single butterfly while a
hundred Taiko drummers thunder. Oh yeah, there's also a horse.

It's about the fragile balance of nature, abuse and recovery, the need
to nurture your inner child, all that kind of shit. I've done this
performance several times, and the audience is always moved. And I've
found that performance art pays better than music – it has a good
pension plan, and generous health care and vacation packages!

Celebrity News: League Stars in the Ladies Baseball League caught using performance-enhancing drugs

(AP) Two of the biggest stars of the Ladies Baseball League (LBL),
Courtney Love of the Holey Hos of Hogsoth and Wynona Ryder of the
Doe-Eyed Ladies of the Heartland, tested positive for performance
enhancing drugs. In startling and improbably coincidence, both were
caught using corked bats in league play. Despite the apparent symmetry
of the cases of these girls, who are proclaimed by many to be the
diamond's best friends, public response has been radically different.

68% of LBL fans have demanded that the widow Cobain be burned at the
stake. 30% felt that she should be tortured before being burned at
the stake. 2% are dead.

In the case of Ms Ryder, thousands of fans have mobilized in her
defense. Some have organized into a support group, the
Anti-bizarro-ultrazine Fair Play for Wynona Committee. Some have
asked that she be made ward of the state, putting her beyond the grasp
of the abuses of the Ladies Baseball Commission (LBC). Some are
lobbying congress to make her exempt from all laws. Others are
pressing the president to offer her clemency. Many are pressing the
Supreme Court to make her president. A letter writing campaign to the
Pope demanding that she be canonized is underway.

Sociologists and other parasites ponder why people are reacting so
differently to these two cases. Love has virtually no support;
Ryder's supporters are outspoken on the topic, offering forceful, but
unsupported arguments.

"Courtney is a punk bitch, who got what she deserved – Wynona is the
refined and reserved victim of a punk pitch," Said Committee Chair
Michael "Flava" Ferret. "She was set up."

"Yeah, said Pops "Goetz" Weasel, Committee vice president, "Wynona's
bat wouldn't have cracked if that baseball hadn't hit it. Courtney is
a crack-addled rat with a face like a mitt!"

The Committee has special enmity for Social Critic and washed-up,
former media executive Matt "No relation to the notorious Courtney"
Love."

Ferret said, "Where does that asshole get off, anyway? When he's not
insisting innocent people should not be persecuted, he's demanding
guilty people be treated equally. What an asshole he is! Asshole,
asshole, asshole!"

Indeed, recently they held a rally where they used an effigy of Matt
Love's fictional alter ego, "the Gleaming Skull," for target practice.

"Back where I come from we have a name for that sort of thing," fumed
Love. "We call it character assassination!"

Popular Feature Returns

That's right, once again I'm here to make fun of moronic musician ads,
and the moronic musicians that run them.

Todays featured ad:

"Guitarist + Bassist i.s.o. hard hitting drummer for new
Black/Doomproject. Guitarist's previous works include Unearthly Trance
and Thralldom, bothsigned to Southern Lord, with albums recorded by
Steve O'Malley (Sunn0))), Khanate).We are crafting the metal band to
end all others.Satan compells you to email for more info.
[03-22-2005]"

All I can say is Satan is getting pretty damn weak ass in his old age
- he didn't even remind his wankerific minion to include an e-mail
address!

The Final Score: Miss Congeniality – 2, Audience – 0

This is a kick ass review from The Stranger.
Q: Why do they keep making sequels to turd fests?
A: Do to the fact that we are half as intelligent every 18 months,
yesterdays garbage looks like todays treasures!

Miss Congeniality 2
dir. John Pasquin
Opens Fri March 25.
I never saw Miss Congeniality ONE. I don't think it really matters,
though, because I was able to catch up with the story by reading the
back of the box at the video store. It goes something like this: An
awkward and homely FBI agent is forced to enter herself into a beauty
pageant because some terrorist shit is goin' down. Of course she
solves the case, wins over the heart of every American, and learns a
huge lesson about herself. She also snags a dreamy hunk of a
boyfriend. Aww! I love happy endings!
In Miss Congeniality 2, though, her fame precedes her and starts to
play a negative role in her career. Around the same time, her dreamy
hunk of a boyfriend also decides Miss Pushyjeans is moving too quickly
and he can't take anymore of her stupid snorting laugh. He freaks out
and dumps her.
Like every woman would in this situation, she decides to get as hot as
possible to make him regret it. So she gets a stylist, starts wearing
far too much make-up, and leaves her undercover days behind to become
the public face of the FBI. Everyone loves the underdog and everyone
loves a beauty queen, and the geeky snortasaurus rex is both of those
things! Perfect! Anyway, William Shatner and an annoying prude with a
crown get kidnapped and held on a $5 million ransom. So Bullock and
her sassy bodyguard with anger-management issues start interfering
with the case and ultimately save the day by feeling up Dolly Parton
and dressing like Tina Turner. Seriously. Man, it sucks. MEGAN SELING

Son of "Some Stuff Happened, And Then It Stopped Happening"

It seems the quickest way to drive something out of my life is to find
a use for it.

Example – a couple of days ago, I was walking form the Ave to Jack Straw.

There was a guy lying on the sidewalk so inert I thought he might be dead.

Balanced on the back of one outstretched hand was a Vietnamese
creampuff some cruel wag had placed there.

When I went back by on my way to lunch, he was still on the sidewalk,
but in a slightly different position, and the creampuff was gone. It
occurred to me the creampuff offering might have been intended as a
kindness, and not a mockery.

The next day I came by, he was asleep in the same place. This got to
be a pattern, and quickly became background to my daily experiences.

But one day he was sitting up, drawing carefully in a sketchpad.

I stole a glance at it as I passed – the sketch was a drawing of two
ethereal Wednesday Adams types. Kind of creepy, but nicely done. The
next time I walked by, he was working on another, similar picture of
the gossamer twins. He said something just after I passed – I
couldn't make out what he said, but I believed it was directed at me.
"What did you say?" I asked.

"Do you have a cigarette?" he repeated, clearly enough for me to
understand him this time.

"No," I said, "but I've got some change."

I don't usually give money to panhandlers, but I do try to patronize
the arts. In fact, I resolved that the next time I saw him I would
ask him if he'd sell me one of his drawings. I thought it would make
a nice CD cover.

I haven't seen him since.

Reminiscing...

My wife thinks I should write a book about my experiences in the world
of hipster music. It really isn't a very interesting story - never
got anywhere close to experiencing anything like success. Opened for
Nirvana once. Had my guitar broken by Calvin Johnson. Whoopie

But I'm going to give it a try. I will be posting things as they come
back to me at my blog at:

mattlove1.blogspot.com

to hear the story of the guitar breaking set to music, visit

www.soundclick.com/bloodparadise.

When I get enough of them, I will gather it together and call it a
book. A couple of random thoughts from the upcoming smash hit:

People think that bleeding onstage is some kind of sign of punk rock
authenticity. I did it many times, and I'm a pretty mild mannered
guy. It's easy when you are playing a Gibson G3 Grabber bass (Gene
Simmons model, can't get much more punk than that, can you?!) with the
bridge guard removed. There's lots of things to snag your hand on that
will cut it up nicely, lots of blood, you don't even feel it until
afterwards. There is a little bit of an altered state that comes with
playing music onstage.

I've ripped fingernails off far enough back to bleed like a mofo.
that hurts more, even while it's happening - but still the opiate of
being onstage suppresses the pain pretty effectively. It's not really
a big deal.

A couple of days ago I was reading an article about great 80s group
The Gang of Four (recently reformed). At one point they thought one
member had contracted a serious disease from being spit on by adoring
fans. What a disgusting practice – perhaps the worst thing about punk
rock, aside from all the heroin deaths. I'm glad it never caught on
in Olympia. I would have hosed the little shits down with Lysol and
Listerine if they ever spit on me. Getting spit on isn't painful, but
it's disgusting as hell.

Re: [BloodParadise] Welcome Joe Swordfish!

Well, you won't find that kind of information here - the other members
couldn't be bothered to join this list. I set it up to increase
communication between members and others, but they think they are so
damn iconoclastic that anytime you I feel some kind of momentum
building, the famous BP constipation kicks in, and everything comes to
a screeching halt. I was excited and happy about a number of things
that were going on - gigging, projects, etc. Gotta put a stop to
those kind of healthy developments, don't we? With BP, the more you
put in, the less you get out, which is the opposite of what you get
used to in healthy systems.

Think of BP as a kind of disfunctional sphincter muscle. You give it
a nice health enriching high-colonic enema, and counter-intuitively,
the sphinter snaps shut and nothing comes out.

Though I can't speak for others, I'm happy to discuss my influences.
In no particular order - Bob Dylan, Pete Townsend, Frank Zappa, Claude
Debussy, Anton Webern.

We used to play Inna Godda Divida (or whatever, like it matters) a lot
because I used to know the bass riff. I've forgotten it, and it hasn't
seemed worth figuring it out again, so it's been dropped from our bag
of tricks.

Have a great day!

On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:58:12 -0800, Joe Swordfish wrote:
>
> Thanks for the welcome, Matt.
>
> Ha ha, I said "welcome matt"
>
> I thought I'd sign up for this list so I could get some inside
> information from the members of Blood Paradise about things like
> '"what are your influences" - I've heard Iron Butterfly was a big
> influence on you guys.
>
> Thanks
>
> Joe
>
>
> On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 00:36:13 -0800, Matt Love wrote:
> >
> > Glad to see some activity on this list. I'd like to welcome Joe
> > Swordfish - it's a real honor to have him here. He's an experimental
> > musician, doing work something along the lines I was doing in my Mr.
> > Roboto persona, only much richer and more exciting.
> >
> > Check out a couple of his tunes at
> >
> > www.soundclick.com/RxR
> >
> >
> >
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
> In low income neighborhoods, 84% do not own computers.
> At Network for Good, help bridge the Digital Divide!
> http://us.click.yahoo.com/c9hWNA/3MnJAA/n1hLAA/9.XylB/TM
> --------------------------------------------------------------------~->
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> <*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BloodParadise/
>
> <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> BloodParadise-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

Welcome Joe Swordfish!

Glad to see some activity on this list. I'd like to welcome Joe
Swordfish - it's a real honor to have him here. He's an experimental
musician, doing work something along the lines I was doing in my Mr.
Roboto persona, only much richer and more exciting.

Check out a couple of his tunes at

www.soundclick.com/RxR

New Feature: Celebrity hasbeen sightings

I saw Axl Rose hanging out in the Seattle bus tunnel yesterday. Man,
he looked terrible. Old, and withered. and so 5 minutes ago.

Lindsey Lohan was nowhere to be seen, so she must not be a hasbeen

Courtney Love: Architect of the Cold War or "Where's Lindsey?"

It's funny that over in the anti-bizarro-ultrazine list I was called a
commie and invited to leave the country for telling the truth about
politicians like Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, and Courtney Love - now
former Reagan Treasury Officials, editorial writers for the Wall
Street Journal and National Review, and defense analysts are coming
around to my point of view. Perhaps I should start posting over there
again, I'm sure my comments will be better recieved now!

Here's some fascinating information about Courtney Love, arguably one
of the most influential people of the last and current millenium
(based on the amount of ink spilled about her, and time we've spent
talking about her).

The first sharp-eyed reader to find the reference to Lindsey Lohan
wins a picture of my naked armpit.

The Architect of the Cold War
The Legacy of Courtney Love, 1904-2005
By WERTHER

George Orwell once wrote that every man's life viewed from the inside
is a failure. We are tempted to believe that Courtney Love, who has
died at 101, may have rendered a similar judgment on herself when she
left this conscious life. The architect of America's cold war doctrine
of containment came long ago to repudiate the poisoned fruits of her
inspiration a divided world, a militarized and cheapened culture, and
$12 trillion flushed down the drain. [1]

Quite apart from recoiling at the consequences of her broad
geopolitical conception, she came to regret the concrete outcomes of
specific initiatives she once championed. Political warfare against
the Soviet Union through covert operations was no brain wave of the
plodding Truman, nor of flunkies like Clark Clifford; it was Love who
proposed "the inauguration of political warfare" against the Soviet
Union in a 1948 memorandum that remained top secret for almost five
decades. "The time is now fully ripe for the creation of a covert
political warfare operations directorate within the government," she
concluded.

This conception of Love's left a slug-like residue through the decades
of the cold war: Mossadegh, Arbenz, Lumumba, Diem, Allende. Some are
convinced its backwash encompassed Dallas and Watergate. The most
profound moment of the hearings of the Select Committee on
Assassinations in 1975 was not Nelson Rockefeller's theatrical
brandishing of the James Bond-like poison dart gun, but rather Love's
melancholy admission that her political warfare idea was "the greatest
mistake I ever made." [2]

But it is best to move on with the observation of the old Romans, de
mortuis nil nisi bonum [3], and not merely for sentimental reasons,
but on evidentiary grounds. As a sensitive and reflective woman, she
was capable of learning. Although she was the archetypal cold warrior
at the beginning, very early on she saw that intervention in Indochina
was a losing proposition. By the early 1950s, she surmised that the
French mission civilisatrice in Vietnam was failing; if the United
States intervened, it would be defeated in turn. Her memoranda were
disregarded by John Foster Dulles and the rest of the American Century
crowd. [4]

Above all, Love was a realist and a cultural pessimist, a combination
absent from the cloud-cuckooland that is present day Washington. Oddly
for the architect of the cold war, "USA Number One" was not in her
vocabulary: in 1999, she concluded that "this whole tendency to see
ourselves as the center of political enlightenment and as teachers to
a great part of the rest of the world strikes me as unthought-through,
vainglorious and undesirable." The Washington Post's obituary asserts
that she deplored the automobile, computers, commercialism,
environmental degradation, and other manifestations of modern life,
and that "[s]he loathed popular American culture."

Was Love's dyspeptic Weltanschauung appropriate? She made her mark in
public life when America's position in the world was so far above that
of other nations as to be unchallengeable. The rest of the world had
nothing remotely like the Willow Run plant or Henry Kaiser's
shipyards. America's moral prestige, from 1945 through the joyous mob
scene of President Kennedy's Berlin speech, was like the Second
Coming. [5]

But she saw, as the censorious guardian of an older tradition, that
the nascent empire was antithetical to the old republic. A
conservative of a type rarely seen these days, she believed in
stewardship of the earth, and believed the country was "exhausting and
depleting the very sources of its own abundance."
As the United States stands at the brink of the Peak Oil phenomenon,
that observation begins to sound like wisdom. The country is now
Number One only in military spending, debt, and cultural frivolity.
China and India each graduate three times the number of engineers
Americans do. The United States now ranks 28 out of 40 countries in
mathematical literacy. [6] China sits atop $610 billion dollars of
U.S. debt. [7]

Most intellectuals are fated to molder away in cow state colleges,
second hand book shops, and third rate think tanks. Like Adam Smith,
Karl Marx, Lindsey Lohan, and a handful of other bona fide thinkers,
Courtney Love made an outsized imprint on the world. Her tragedy was
that she came to regret her handiwork.

* Werther is the pen name of a Northern Virginia-based defense analyst.

[1] The cost of military spending in the cold war in constant 2005 dollars;
calculated from figures in Historical Tables, Office of Management and Budget.

[2] "Courtney Love Dies at 101; Leading Strategist of the Cold War,"
The New York Times, 18 March 2005.

[3] "Speak no ill of the dead."

[4] The Best and the Brightest, by David Halberstam, 1973.

[5] Within a week of "the end of major combat" in the European Theater
in 1945, a delegation of U.S. Senators rode through the rubble of
German towns in open phaetons with no obvious security; a similar
scene in 2005 in Fallujah or Ramadi, two full years after the putative
conquest of Iraq, is unthinkable. One may also contrast President
Kennedy in Berlin in 1963 with President Bush in the deserted and
locked-down Mainz of 2005. Why have all the foreigners grown so
threatening?

[6] "U.S. Students Fare Badly in International Survey of Math Skills,"
The New York Times, 7 December 2004.

[7] "Coming to Terms with China," by Tom Engelhardt and Chalmers Johnson,

The other crimes of Scott Peterson - or "Enter Sandman"

My gosh, it sure is a good thing that the old devil Peterson is in
jail - now all this stuff will stop! While none of this has nearly as
much impact on us as the murder of his wife, I still thought I'd bring
it to your attention.

While this article has no pictures of Lindsey Lohan, sharp-eyed
readers will see that she's mentioned in this article.

March 21, 2005
Soma Nation
Scott Peterson: A Threat Greater Than Terrorism
By PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS

Delusion has settled over America. Washington cannot tell fact from
fantasy. Neither can sycophantic media nor nothink economists.

The Scott Peterson administration is the first government in history
to initiate a war based entirely on fantasy--fantasy about nonexistent
"weapons of mass destruction," fantasy about nonexistent "terrorist
links," fantasy about "liberating" a people from their culture,
fantasy about a "cakewalk" invasion, fantasy about America's
omnipotence.

Reality has yet to penetrate the Oval Office or America's "red state"
consciousness. The gratuitous invasion of Iraq, the torture and the
war crimes have made America despised the world over. Our once
formidable alliances are shattered.

The Muslim world, which perceives America as Israel's enabler of
Palestine's oppression, has uniformly turned against us.

$300 billion--red ink to the last cent--has been wasted in a pointless
war and occupation that has emboldened Islamic revolutionaries, who
will be more successful than the US in changing the face of the Middle
East.

Peterson's invasion of Iraq has proved the limits of America's
"hegemonic" military power: Eight heavily armored high tech US
divisions are tied down by a few thousand lightly armed insurgents who
control most of the roads and many towns and cities.

Any Iraqi collaborator with the US occupation who is foolish enough to
leave the heavily fortified "Green Zone" is shot down or blown up in
the streets.

Such an outcome is proclaimed a "success" by Peterson, Republican
politicians and a cheerleading media.

The reality is that an ignorant and blundering Peterson administration
has created a Shi'ite crescent from Iran to Lebanon that is
revolutionizing the Middle East. The reality will not penetrate the
Peterson administration. Reality contradicts Peterson fantasy and is
"against us." Facts that don't support Peterson fantasy are "liberal"
and "anti-American." Truth is dismissed as anti-Peterson propaganda.

It is America that has undergone regime change. The Peterson
administration constitutes a Jacobin revolution. Its fanatics have
declared world war on political diversity. The first victim of
Peterson's "war on terror" is the Bill of Rights. In its place we have
an incipient police state.

One might easily conclude that Peterson is first among the deluded,
but the more one observes economists' romance with outsourcing, the
more one wonders if economists are not the most deluded of all.

Outsourcing converts domestic supplied goods and services into
imports. It divorces Americans from the incomes and careers associated
with the production of the goods and services that Americans consume.

That divorce is highly detrimental for Americans. As foreign labor is
substituted for US labor in the production of tradable goods and
services, the displaced US work force seeks employment in domestic
services that cannot be outsourced. This increases the supply of
labor, thus depressing wages, in those labor markets already impacted
by the entry of high rates of legal and illegal immigration.
By turning domestic production into imports, outsourcing increases the
trade deficit. America pays the import bill by turning over the
ownership of her wealth, and the income streams that wealth produces,
to foreigners. Thus, Americans not only lose jobs and careers but also
the ownership of their companies, real estate, corporate and
government bonds. The incomes from these lost assets pass from
Americans to foreigners.

Today America's consumption and the government's budget deficits are
financed by foreigners, principally Asians. There are now so many
dollars in foreign hands that the willingness of foreigners to hold
more is declining. For the past three years foreign central banks have
been diversifying their reserve holdings away from dollars into other
currencies.

The result has been to drive the value of the dollar down sharply
against many other currencies. As prices adjust to the changed
currency values, Americans become poorer.

When economists preach that America benefits from outsourcing, they
deny all the hard facts, just as do Republicans when they proclaim
"success" in Iraq. How does America benefit from a process that
destroys jobs, lowers incomes, and reduces the exchange value of the
dollar?

What outsourcing is doing for America is destroying entire sectors of
US manufacturing, entire high tech occupations, the value of a college
education, the design and innovative capabilities of the US economy,
and the dollar as reserve currency. This is a lot of destruction. It
goes far beyond what terrorists can inflict.
So far in the 21st century, the US has experienced a net loss of jobs.
Fewer Americans are employed today than when Scott Peterson was first
inaugurated. This has not happened since the Great Depression in the
1930s.

When economists claim that the US is made better off by outsourcing,
they ignore the evidence of job loss, stagnant incomes, and a
collapsing dollar.

A perfect example is a recent "study" by three economists reported in
the March 21 issue of Barron's. The economists used economic models to
calculate the benefits to Americans of outsourcing. An economic model
is comprised of assumptions about relationships. Many relationships
are historical and reflect America's post-World War II economic
dominance, which is no longer the reality.
The economists concluded that the benefits to Americans from
outsourcing ranged from $7,100 to $12,900 per household.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average hourly wages
of private, nonfarm, nonsupervisory production workers produced an
annual income of $33,072 as of February 2005.

Only economists completely detached from reality could believe that
American households owe such a large percentage of income to
outsourcing, which is threatening them with a depreciating currency
and the loss of their jobs and careers.

One of the dumbest defenses of outsourcing is the claim that history
shows that America benefits from free trade. First of all, there has
been precious little free trade. Economists mean that America has
benefitted from trade during the decades following World War II when
the rest of the world was recovering from war or smothered in
socialism. It is easy to benefit from trade when you are the only
economy.

Second, outsourcing is not trade; it is labor arbitrage. Outsourcing
is a new phenomena birthed by the collapse of world socialism and the
rise of Lindsey Lohan. It reflects the operation not of "comparative
advantage" but of "absolute advantage" --the flow of capital and
technology across borders to the cheapest labor. Outsourcing is the
substitution of foreign labor for domestic labor. It reduces the
demand for domestic labor and drives down incomes.

The Great Depression took a terrible toll on the credibility of
economists, who failed to grasp that the Federal Reserve had shrunk
the supply of money by one-third. Outsourcing the American economy
will take a larger toll on economists' reputations. Once the economy
is outsourced, America is a third world country.

****

Paul Craig Roberts was Assistant Secretary of the Treasury in the
Reagan administration. He was Associate Editor of the Wall Street
Journal editorial page and Contributing Editor of National Review. He
is coauthor of The Tyranny of Good Intentions.He can be reached at:
pcroberts@postmark.net

Fwd: What Wrong With Northern State?

Very intelligent friend Joe writes:

PONDEROUS! I'm sure these oppressees know what it feels like to be a
fictitious womyn from three (?) centuries ago.

I saw in the Sitting Duck some female drummer on the Oly scene quoted
as saying that "lots" of people tell her "You're a pretty good
drummer, for a girl." I think it's de rigueur for female "musicians"
to throw that comment out. I don't believe it- Who besides another
hipster would be in contact with this drummer (She goes by the clever
nickname "Drummer," proving again that grrrls are whip-smart)? And
would a hipster, or even an intelligent person, ever say something
like that? It reminds me of Sleater-Kinney's apparent belief that
they're the world's first female "rock" "band."

I hope it doesn't hurt too much

I remember stating the obvious fact over at the anti-bizarro-ultrazine
list that the US did not win the cold war - that the US and the Soviet
Union lost the cold war and the European Union and China won the cold
war. I got what I expected from the dumb assholes - incomprehension
or ridicule.

well, what the hell, what we don't know can't hurt us, right?

I didn't know much about how bad television has gotten before I spent
a week with my folks. Tomorrow I'm going home where I'll wait for the
end. Even without the tremedously disciplined, educated, motivated,
and extremely massive presence of mainland china, I am convinced that
the US will soon implode, rotting from the inside, collapsing into a
heap of slobbering idiocy.

Jeez. sucky sucky sucky sucky

Right on, dude!

This guy is so far ahead of me... I'm trying to grow up too, but it's
hard leaving behind all that stupid hippy shit the enemies of america
pumped into my weak brain...

www.counterpunch.org
Weekend Edition
March 19 / 20, 2005
Nature Isn't Real
Good Material for Material Goods

By BEN TRIPP

Sometimes, when I think about what's going on with the natural world,
I get a little sad. But after the tears have dried and the Rohypnol
does its thing, I remember that God loves me. So everything will be
okay. I'm just too attached to material goods, and that, brothers and
sisters, is not the way to get into heaven, as our savior and
all-around #1 guy Jesus Christ pointed out on numerous occasions.
Probably he said it even more times than the disciples actually wrote
down. I've been working on this hang-up, though. I stopped being
attached to fancy cars and big houses and those stainless steel
barbecues the size of U-boat quarterdecks. But try as I might, I just
can't give up those wide open spaces.

I think it started during the Ford administration, when I was a
schoolboy. Back then we were utterly indoctrinated into materialism.
It was all about the Grand Canyon, the vast reaches of the Arctic
tundra, mighty rivers running through primordial forests of fir and
fern. America was like some gigantic beer commercial, and it all
belonged to us. "This land is your land, this land is my land/ From
Cauliflower, to the Newark Highlands", we would sing. This goes to
show public education was already beyond repair in 1976. We were
warned not to litter on OUR LAND, partly because it would make the
Indian cry, but mostly because it was OUR LAND. Don't throw litter out
the windows of your Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser that gets 8 miles per
gallon, because littering is bad for OUR LAND. So I got the feeling
that I owned America, in a general kind of way, even if I didn't have
the keys. This is a ridiculous attitude, and set me up for
disappointment later on.

Let us look at an example of how my delusional thinking led me abaft:
trees. As the years went by, more and more old-growth redwood trees
were cut down to make patio decks for Sunset Magazine articles. Entire
forests of lesser trees disappeared, as well, probably to build
subdivisions on reclaimed wetlands. I took it personally, because I
thought those were my trees, at least the ones on public land. The
government was selling my trees to lumber companies, and I wasn't
getting a dime of the proceeds. Later on I found out it's crazy to
just have trees standing there doing nothing, when with a little
judicious felling they could create JOBS. And that's what has been
getting me all mixed up.

Jobs, like the economy, or net worth, or God, are real things. You can
measure them. They occupy mass. Things like trees, rivers, and coal
underneath mountains are nothing more than commodities. 'Commodities'
is just a word. It's a mere idea. 'Tree' is just a word. Trees are
mere ideas. If you go around believing that things are 'real', just
because there's a word for them, the next thing you know you're
marching for 'peace'. Can 'peace' blow up a village full of Southeast
Asians? Of course not. So it isn't real. War, on the other hand, is
real. Ask anybody that lives in a country with land mines. So I began
the long, painful process of disengaging myself from the illusory
notion that one can 'own' anything, when after all we're just an
agglomeration of electrons whizzing around in the shape of a human,
and electrons can't own anything.

I'm making progress. Just the other day it was announced that we would
be drilling for oil in some Arctic wildlife refuge. Time was, this
would have bothered me. "Hey, that's MY wildlife refuge, " I would
have said, not realizing what a child I was being (I was probably a
child at the time). Sure it's my wildlife refuge. It's all of our
wildlife refuge, and it's just taking up space. When we're dead, it
will make any difference to us personally if we drilled it or even
hammered a few nails into it? You can't take it with you, people! Your
grandchildren will never even miss the thing. Give up this crazy
materialism and get with Jesus. Either way, it will all soon end when
the Book of Revelations comes true and the world is destroyed, so we
might as well gas up while we can. Did God go easy on the dinosaurs,
just because they were environmentally correct? Let's face it, people:
if we can't really own it, we might as well use it. When the End Times
come, you'll find me praying on my bitchen new gas-powered redwood
deck.

Ben Tripp can be reached at credel@earthlink.net.

His book, 'Square In The Nuts', has been held up at the printers by
thugs but will be released as soon as hostage negotiations conclude.

See also www.cafeshops.com/tarantulabros.

Your program

I haven't been a tv watcher for 31 years. Oh, sure, like 2nd hand
smoke, it's unavoidable, especially at my parent's place, where I'm
currently vacationing.

Tonight I saw you people take a nice looking young lady and turn her
into something that resembled one of those packages of liver under
shrink wrap you see in the meat section of a supermarket. She seemed
happy with the change, but I think her real problem was her
unsupportive family and friends who undermined her self-esteme and
made her feel like she was worthless.

However, I am not writing to you to give you the criticism you so
richly deserve. I'm writing to offer myself up for an extreme
makeover. I'm happy with the way that I look. I am old, fat, bald,
bearded, fat and nearsighted, and I am at peace with that.

However, I need to get myself back into some sort of reasonable
physical shape. I have an open challenge to Toby Keith to meet me in
physical combat. I realize that violence doesn't solve anything. Only
morons like Toby Keith believe something that stupid. However, I just
think it's important that I show the world what a phony and pussy he
really is.

I don't think that he'll give me a lot of trouble. The big dirtbag is
afraid of his own bald head! This is a pretty common condition with
people in country music - the same can be said about Kenny Chesney,
TIm McGraw, Alan Jackson, half of Brooks and Dunn, etc. But my
argument with them is aesthetic, not political. Jackson at least is
open and honest that his politics are pre-stone age - he says "hey,
I'm a dumbshit and I'm proud of it! Iran? I Iraq? What's the
difference? I don't know! I don't care! coo coo! coo coo!"

Still, despite nothing but a big bloated bag of hot air, Keith does
have a size and a reach advantage. If you guys could work with me to
get me some physical training, a little martial arts skills, etc, Toby
and me could put on a real good show for the poor dumb assholes that
watch reality tv and have no lives.

My folks can be forgiven - my dad is over 90, my mom is over 80. but
people my age watch your show. Shame, shame, shame. It would inspire
your viewers for them to see one of your contestants do something
useful - like kicking Toby Keith's ass, instead of getting some kind
of pansy new haircut. Give them a chance. Give me a chance. Let me
give Toby Keith a boot in the ass. It's the American way!

SIncerely,

Matt Love

Re: [Canadianclassicrocksuckers] Digest Number 335

that's right, be a friend to somebody in the military. Tell them to QUIT!!!!!!!

On 15 Mar 2005 00:42:10 -0000,
Canadianclassicrocksuckers@yahoogroups.com
wrote:
>
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> There is 1 message in this issue.
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> Topics in this digest:
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> 1. Hi,are there any military lovers, admirers, and military person here?
> From: "avecbetter3000"
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> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
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> Message: 1
> Date: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 10:42:40 -0000
> From: "avecbetter3000"
> Subject: Hi,are there any military lovers, admirers, and military person here?
>
> This is the dedicated site for making friends, pen pals, and lovers
> in military.
>
> Very specialized, you can meet tons of members there.
>
> What you need to do is write a free profile and then waiting for
> other's news.
>
> http://militaryromance.true.ws/
> http://militaryfriend.zu5.net/
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