I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

[TheBigStupid] A Younger Girl


Of course we like it. EVEN without a specific person in mind, the
proportion of girls who are younger has risen to include just about
all of them.


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Friday, April 15, 2005

[TheBigStupid] Fwd: Matt - Your CD Baby Order! (#826588)


for once, I'm not complaining about something stupid. In fact, I think
this is pretty damn cool and funny. I will order from them again!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: CD Baby loves Matt
Date: Apr 15, 2005 8:06 PM
Subject: Matt - Your CD Baby Order! (#826588)
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com

Matt -

Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

Shipping Address
================
Matt Love
11015 ECKENSTAM JOHNSON RD
ANDERSON ISLAND, WA 98303-9618
Email: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com

Qty Description Price Total
=== =========== ===== =====
1 DARREN LOCK: sows' ears & silk purses $7.99 $7.99
1 DANGER BIRD: lord stevens $12.99 $12.99

Sub Total $20.98
Shipping $3.85
Grand Total $24.83

Your CDs have been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with
sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CDs and polished them to make
sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over
the crowd as he put your CDs into the finest gold-lined box that
money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party
marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of
Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in
our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, April 15th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did.
Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year". We're all
exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you once again,

Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby
the little CD store with the best new independent music
phone: 1-800-448-6369 email: cdbaby@cdbaby.com
http://www.cdbaby.com


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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Welcome to the TheBigStupid group

Hello,

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Re: [Canadianclassicrocksuckers] Digest Number 337

Nice boy say big problem with military - bang bang shoot shoot kill
people, beat wives and girlfriends too no good.

Fuck a hippy, live happily ever after.

www.soundclick.com/sonsofsarookh

On 12 Apr 2005 22:59:01 -0000,
Canadianclassicrocksuckers@yahoogroups.com
wrote:
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
> Has someone you know been affected by illness or disease?
> Network for Good is THE place to support health awareness efforts!
> http://us.click.yahoo.com/pKxVKC/UOnJAA/n1hLAA/9cLolB/TM
> --------------------------------------------------------------------~->
>
> There is 1 message in this issue.
>
> Topics in this digest:
>
> 1. Announcement!
> From: "yit_05"
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005 22:21:51 +0800
> From: "yit_05"
> Subject: Announcement!
>
> Nice girl want to make some friends in military and enjoy pleasure with those who can be my friend.
>
> I'm outgoing and nice looking, and very sexy too.
>
> have a look of my homepage and mail me:
>
> avec2008
>
> http://freefriend.zu5.net/
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/5/lunaparadox.htm

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sarookh

Cort phil4221

About Me:Main Interest
Where I live Florida
Favorite Animal Antlion
Favorite Band or Singer Lunaparadox (my dad)
Favorite Movie Shrek 2

lunaparadoxJust Joined! Joined: 03 Mar 2003Posts: 1 Posted: Mon Mar
03, 2003 4:29 pm Post subject: music production

I've been thinking of moving to linux for some time now. The main
purpose of my home computer is music production. I was wondering what
tools there are for working with music? sequencers, audio editors,
effects ect.

From: lunaparadox ( [EMAIL REMOVED] )
Date: Jan 3, 2004
Subject: [OT] For Sale: midiman 3 by 8 midi thru

Midiman midithru 3X8 for sale.
Just letting you guys know.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2369594783&category=1287&rd=1
lunaparadox

From: lunaparadox
Subject: [OT] for sale: KORG EA1
Newsgroups: gmane.comp.audio.emagic.logic.users
Date: 2004-03-15 02:46:00 GMT (1 year, 4 weeks, 11 hours and 11 minutes ago)
Letting every one know that I'm forced to sale my Korg EA1.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3711462060&category=38071&sspagename=STRK%3AMESSE%3AIT&rd=1

Solo project by Mike Phillips. I've been in the underground scene for
20 years making music with bands that range from punk to trance, In
the Tallahassee area with bands like The Final Sound, Seriosity,
Blacklight Poster Child, T.O.R.N., Subtek, and Last but not least Luna
ParaDoX.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/5/lunaparadox.htm

Sarookh

From: Sarookh Moderator
Subject: Welcome to the Sarookh group

Hello,

I've added you to my Sarookh group at Yahoo! Groups, a free,
easy-to-use service. Yahoo! Groups makes it easy to send and receive
group messages, coordinate events, share photos and files, and more.

My introductory message to you:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Folks, after watching Sarookh languish for ages and ages, I have
decided to take strong action to get it on track. I was going to say
"back on track" but it never was on track. People have come and gone,
mostly gone, and now even Sarookh has deserted us.

Many changes are coming that will either result in something happening
with this list, or people leaving. If you are one of the ones that
want to leave, instructions on how to do it can be viewed below.

Thank you for breathing my wind.

Description of the group:
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Important information about the Sarookh group
------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Regards,

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Monday, April 11, 2005

Steven Spielberg will NOT be directing "Plan 13 From Outer Space"

Spielberg was in the running, but he's a little to slick. I think that
Mark Sabourin will do a better job of keeping it real. I assume that
Icepac was just trying to be nice.

daily.scoopy.net/funhouse/ craparchives/2005_03_24_craparchives.htm

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Steven Spielberg will NOT be directing the new Baywatch film for
Dreamworks. They would like to announce that he will also NOT be
directing:
Bill and Ted's Heinous Heist
Leonard, Part 7
Anal Intruders #68 and #70 (there is no #69 because it is all anal)
Doug's Second Movie
Matthew Lillard: A Man and His Movies
Arthur 3: Shaken, not Stirred
Burn, Hollywood, Burn Again: A Steven Spielberg Film
Still Can't Stop the Music
Cooler Than Ice
Gymkata II
It's Pat Again!
Plan 13 From Outer Space
Pedos: the Foot of Fate
Police Academy 8: The Bogota Beat
Wilder Wilder West
Dirty Dancing Three: The Bo Bolero

Comments:
I was disappointed that I couldn't get Speilberg to direct the epic
"Plan 13 From Outer Space" but I am going to go into discussion with a
local (Olympia WA) filmmaker, Mark Sabourin, about directing this
movie. The cast list at http://voices.fuzzy.com/show.idc?show_id=9842
is no longer accurate; Woody Longacre will no longer be played by
Filli Delphi, but the rest remain committed to the project.

# posted by Icepac : 10:43 AM

Post a Comment

Re: [TennesseeWayne] Don't Die Tennessee Wayne!

Great to have enthusiastic new members! to keep it going, we really
need to attract more people like you - more people to spread the
faith, and more people to remix remix remix.

Even though I've never met you, I'm betting that you know at least two
people who could do a remix on Tennessee - at your workplace, people
you've met on the bus - the world is a live with the sound of
remixing, so get out there and recruit, recruit, recruit!

On Apr 10, 2005 11:10 PM, sugarzareh wrote:
>
>
> I'm new here. I just heard the bad news and I don't want this thing to
> end. Ever.
>
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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Willie Sighting

When I was in Austin last week I saw Willie Nelson waiting for the
bus. Man, he looked terrible, about 150 years old.

Actually, I saw him more than once. I saw him all over town.
Sometimes in more than one place at the same time.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Fwd: An Incoherent Threat

horizontally, face down?

On Apr 6, 2005 9:53 AM, PaSibley@PityDaFool.Com wrote:
> From the XYZ intranet:
> Quality Quote of the Month
> If you're not serving the customer, you'd better be serving someone who is -
> Albrecht and Zemke

Monday, April 04, 2005

Language Watch

In a presentation at the ARSC conference that I just returned from.
One presenter pressed ahead with his findings before he was fully
ready, because he felt his process is revolutionary and necessary. He
concluded:

"I apologize that my presentation was so disjointed, but I've been
going like a horse afire!"

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran, 67, Dies

Cockran at least did some good in his life, unlike Dubya. Oh wait,
Dubya did some good blow in his life, you have to give him that.

* Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran, 67, Dies *

Best known for representing O.J. Simpson, Cochran for years represented
victims of police brutality and government oppression. In 1997 he won the
freedom of Black Panther leader Geronimo ji Jaga Pratt who spent 27 years in
jail for a crime he did not commit.

Listen/Watch/Read
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/03/30/1544254

Friday, March 25, 2005

Update...

Hey guys, I just wanted to let you know what I'm up too these days. I
appreciate the support you've given me in the past, those quarters you
tossed into my guitar case kept me in ciggies and mad dog. I'm
currently not doing much music. After hearing the genius of Alex Carr
(check his stuff out at http://www.alexcarr.org) I decided it was time
to try my hand at something else for a while. It was like, "never as
good as you, Alex," you know what I mean?

I was a little aimless for a while, but I sort of fell into
performance art when I tripped on a chair leg at a coffee shop open
mic a while back. I impaled myself on a mandolin. It was painful, but
the applause from the audience made it worth it, and convinced me I
was onto something.

My current performance involves sawing off my head with the serrated
edge of a shark's tooth, and then reattached it with twine made from
miles of spider web. After that I release a single butterfly while a
hundred Taiko drummers thunder. Oh yeah, there's also a horse.

It's about the fragile balance of nature, abuse and recovery, the need
to nurture your inner child, all that kind of shit. I've done this
performance several times, and the audience is always moved. And I've
found that performance art pays better than music – it has a good
pension plan, and generous health care and vacation packages!

Celebrity News: League Stars in the Ladies Baseball League caught using performance-enhancing drugs

(AP) Two of the biggest stars of the Ladies Baseball League (LBL),
Courtney Love of the Holey Hos of Hogsoth and Wynona Ryder of the
Doe-Eyed Ladies of the Heartland, tested positive for performance
enhancing drugs. In startling and improbably coincidence, both were
caught using corked bats in league play. Despite the apparent symmetry
of the cases of these girls, who are proclaimed by many to be the
diamond's best friends, public response has been radically different.

68% of LBL fans have demanded that the widow Cobain be burned at the
stake. 30% felt that she should be tortured before being burned at
the stake. 2% are dead.

In the case of Ms Ryder, thousands of fans have mobilized in her
defense. Some have organized into a support group, the
Anti-bizarro-ultrazine Fair Play for Wynona Committee. Some have
asked that she be made ward of the state, putting her beyond the grasp
of the abuses of the Ladies Baseball Commission (LBC). Some are
lobbying congress to make her exempt from all laws. Others are
pressing the president to offer her clemency. Many are pressing the
Supreme Court to make her president. A letter writing campaign to the
Pope demanding that she be canonized is underway.

Sociologists and other parasites ponder why people are reacting so
differently to these two cases. Love has virtually no support;
Ryder's supporters are outspoken on the topic, offering forceful, but
unsupported arguments.

"Courtney is a punk bitch, who got what she deserved – Wynona is the
refined and reserved victim of a punk pitch," Said Committee Chair
Michael "Flava" Ferret. "She was set up."

"Yeah, said Pops "Goetz" Weasel, Committee vice president, "Wynona's
bat wouldn't have cracked if that baseball hadn't hit it. Courtney is
a crack-addled rat with a face like a mitt!"

The Committee has special enmity for Social Critic and washed-up,
former media executive Matt "No relation to the notorious Courtney"
Love."

Ferret said, "Where does that asshole get off, anyway? When he's not
insisting innocent people should not be persecuted, he's demanding
guilty people be treated equally. What an asshole he is! Asshole,
asshole, asshole!"

Indeed, recently they held a rally where they used an effigy of Matt
Love's fictional alter ego, "the Gleaming Skull," for target practice.

"Back where I come from we have a name for that sort of thing," fumed
Love. "We call it character assassination!"

Popular Feature Returns

That's right, once again I'm here to make fun of moronic musician ads,
and the moronic musicians that run them.

Todays featured ad:

"Guitarist + Bassist i.s.o. hard hitting drummer for new
Black/Doomproject. Guitarist's previous works include Unearthly Trance
and Thralldom, bothsigned to Southern Lord, with albums recorded by
Steve O'Malley (Sunn0))), Khanate).We are crafting the metal band to
end all others.Satan compells you to email for more info.
[03-22-2005]"

All I can say is Satan is getting pretty damn weak ass in his old age
- he didn't even remind his wankerific minion to include an e-mail
address!

The Final Score: Miss Congeniality – 2, Audience – 0

This is a kick ass review from The Stranger.
Q: Why do they keep making sequels to turd fests?
A: Do to the fact that we are half as intelligent every 18 months,
yesterdays garbage looks like todays treasures!

Miss Congeniality 2
dir. John Pasquin
Opens Fri March 25.
I never saw Miss Congeniality ONE. I don't think it really matters,
though, because I was able to catch up with the story by reading the
back of the box at the video store. It goes something like this: An
awkward and homely FBI agent is forced to enter herself into a beauty
pageant because some terrorist shit is goin' down. Of course she
solves the case, wins over the heart of every American, and learns a
huge lesson about herself. She also snags a dreamy hunk of a
boyfriend. Aww! I love happy endings!
In Miss Congeniality 2, though, her fame precedes her and starts to
play a negative role in her career. Around the same time, her dreamy
hunk of a boyfriend also decides Miss Pushyjeans is moving too quickly
and he can't take anymore of her stupid snorting laugh. He freaks out
and dumps her.
Like every woman would in this situation, she decides to get as hot as
possible to make him regret it. So she gets a stylist, starts wearing
far too much make-up, and leaves her undercover days behind to become
the public face of the FBI. Everyone loves the underdog and everyone
loves a beauty queen, and the geeky snortasaurus rex is both of those
things! Perfect! Anyway, William Shatner and an annoying prude with a
crown get kidnapped and held on a $5 million ransom. So Bullock and
her sassy bodyguard with anger-management issues start interfering
with the case and ultimately save the day by feeling up Dolly Parton
and dressing like Tina Turner. Seriously. Man, it sucks. MEGAN SELING

Son of "Some Stuff Happened, And Then It Stopped Happening"

It seems the quickest way to drive something out of my life is to find
a use for it.

Example – a couple of days ago, I was walking form the Ave to Jack Straw.

There was a guy lying on the sidewalk so inert I thought he might be dead.

Balanced on the back of one outstretched hand was a Vietnamese
creampuff some cruel wag had placed there.

When I went back by on my way to lunch, he was still on the sidewalk,
but in a slightly different position, and the creampuff was gone. It
occurred to me the creampuff offering might have been intended as a
kindness, and not a mockery.

The next day I came by, he was asleep in the same place. This got to
be a pattern, and quickly became background to my daily experiences.

But one day he was sitting up, drawing carefully in a sketchpad.

I stole a glance at it as I passed – the sketch was a drawing of two
ethereal Wednesday Adams types. Kind of creepy, but nicely done. The
next time I walked by, he was working on another, similar picture of
the gossamer twins. He said something just after I passed – I
couldn't make out what he said, but I believed it was directed at me.
"What did you say?" I asked.

"Do you have a cigarette?" he repeated, clearly enough for me to
understand him this time.

"No," I said, "but I've got some change."

I don't usually give money to panhandlers, but I do try to patronize
the arts. In fact, I resolved that the next time I saw him I would
ask him if he'd sell me one of his drawings. I thought it would make
a nice CD cover.

I haven't seen him since.

Reminiscing...

My wife thinks I should write a book about my experiences in the world
of hipster music. It really isn't a very interesting story - never
got anywhere close to experiencing anything like success. Opened for
Nirvana once. Had my guitar broken by Calvin Johnson. Whoopie

But I'm going to give it a try. I will be posting things as they come
back to me at my blog at:

mattlove1.blogspot.com

to hear the story of the guitar breaking set to music, visit

www.soundclick.com/bloodparadise.

When I get enough of them, I will gather it together and call it a
book. A couple of random thoughts from the upcoming smash hit:

People think that bleeding onstage is some kind of sign of punk rock
authenticity. I did it many times, and I'm a pretty mild mannered
guy. It's easy when you are playing a Gibson G3 Grabber bass (Gene
Simmons model, can't get much more punk than that, can you?!) with the
bridge guard removed. There's lots of things to snag your hand on that
will cut it up nicely, lots of blood, you don't even feel it until
afterwards. There is a little bit of an altered state that comes with
playing music onstage.

I've ripped fingernails off far enough back to bleed like a mofo.
that hurts more, even while it's happening - but still the opiate of
being onstage suppresses the pain pretty effectively. It's not really
a big deal.

A couple of days ago I was reading an article about great 80s group
The Gang of Four (recently reformed). At one point they thought one
member had contracted a serious disease from being spit on by adoring
fans. What a disgusting practice – perhaps the worst thing about punk
rock, aside from all the heroin deaths. I'm glad it never caught on
in Olympia. I would have hosed the little shits down with Lysol and
Listerine if they ever spit on me. Getting spit on isn't painful, but
it's disgusting as hell.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Re: [BloodParadise] Welcome Joe Swordfish!

Well, you won't find that kind of information here - the other members
couldn't be bothered to join this list. I set it up to increase
communication between members and others, but they think they are so
damn iconoclastic that anytime you I feel some kind of momentum
building, the famous BP constipation kicks in, and everything comes to
a screeching halt. I was excited and happy about a number of things
that were going on - gigging, projects, etc. Gotta put a stop to
those kind of healthy developments, don't we? With BP, the more you
put in, the less you get out, which is the opposite of what you get
used to in healthy systems.

Think of BP as a kind of disfunctional sphincter muscle. You give it
a nice health enriching high-colonic enema, and counter-intuitively,
the sphinter snaps shut and nothing comes out.

Though I can't speak for others, I'm happy to discuss my influences.
In no particular order - Bob Dylan, Pete Townsend, Frank Zappa, Claude
Debussy, Anton Webern.

We used to play Inna Godda Divida (or whatever, like it matters) a lot
because I used to know the bass riff. I've forgotten it, and it hasn't
seemed worth figuring it out again, so it's been dropped from our bag
of tricks.

Have a great day!

On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:58:12 -0800, Joe Swordfish wrote:
>
> Thanks for the welcome, Matt.
>
> Ha ha, I said "welcome matt"
>
> I thought I'd sign up for this list so I could get some inside
> information from the members of Blood Paradise about things like
> '"what are your influences" - I've heard Iron Butterfly was a big
> influence on you guys.
>
> Thanks
>
> Joe
>
>
> On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 00:36:13 -0800, Matt Love wrote:
> >
> > Glad to see some activity on this list. I'd like to welcome Joe
> > Swordfish - it's a real honor to have him here. He's an experimental
> > musician, doing work something along the lines I was doing in my Mr.
> > Roboto persona, only much richer and more exciting.
> >
> > Check out a couple of his tunes at
> >
> > www.soundclick.com/RxR
> >
> >
> >
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
> In low income neighborhoods, 84% do not own computers.
> At Network for Good, help bridge the Digital Divide!
> http://us.click.yahoo.com/c9hWNA/3MnJAA/n1hLAA/9.XylB/TM
> --------------------------------------------------------------------~->
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>
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>
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> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BloodParadise/
>
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> BloodParadise-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

Welcome Joe Swordfish!

Glad to see some activity on this list. I'd like to welcome Joe
Swordfish - it's a real honor to have him here. He's an experimental
musician, doing work something along the lines I was doing in my Mr.
Roboto persona, only much richer and more exciting.

Check out a couple of his tunes at

www.soundclick.com/RxR