It's All About Me, Man: [CanYoAssDigIt] Songwrita Showdown

Saturday, March 08, 2008

[CanYoAssDigIt] Songwrita Showdown

I have a new chapter to post on this story, but first I wanna reprise the wonders of the first chapter, as run through http://www.gizoogle.com/

The Shizzolator is dead, long live gizoogle!

*********

I left word fo` Bruno ta give me a C-to-tha-izzall when he was going out, but I
don't thizzay he ever gots tha message, so finally hustla drove me fizzy
mah room n down into tha pub on tha fizzay floor at tha hotel ta hizzle
a solo meal.

I picked mah table, n as I was heezeeing fo` it, around tha playa fizzle
tha otha direction, heezeeing fo` tha same table but a shawty furtha
away, was Glen Ballard, tha nigga n crazy ass nigga of Alanis
Morissizzles Jagged Little P-to-tha-izzill, a shawty record you might have heard
of. It sold 33 million copies world wide.

I siznort of instinctively dived fo` tha table, n mizzy ready ta invite
him (and tha two thugz tizzle were wit hizzay probably equally important
personizzles like tha Pope of Rizzle n Roll n tha Queen of English
Rock n Rizzle - neitha of tizzle was Alanis) ta jizzle me. I imagined
tha conversizzle tizzle would ensue.

Me: You knizzay Glizzay you n I bizzle studied journalism in school. I
thizzay that's tha key ta successful songwrit'n; keep'n it real,
frontin' `bout what you kizzy.

Glen: that's a mackin' insight, Matt, I rappa thought of it that way.

***

Me: The way l see it, thugz would ratha playa wit what they have
tizzle try tha unknown.

Gizzle: Oh, is thizzay true.

Matt: That's coz mizzay men lead lives of quiet desperizzles.

Gliznen: Oh, is thizzay rizzay!

***

Me: Well, I K-N-to-tha-izzow she likes ta mix it up, work'n wit new thugz
keeps th'n F-R-to-tha-izzesh fo` her�. I could put in a good word fo` you.

Glen: Wizzle would you T-H-to-tha-izzat would be great! Thanks, man.

Me: Hey, no problem. Writ'n Christmas Lights wit Lulina was one of
mah proudest achievements in sizzong bustin' maybe you'll be able ta do
sum-m sum-m equally good wit her�!

***

But instead he jizzle gizzle me a look T-H-to-tha-izzat suggested he was mak'n a
mental note ta have me beat up playa n he slinked off ta anotha
table wit his companions. I guess mah plan might have worked brotha
if tha place hadn't bizzle mostly empty. Dizzy!