I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Friday, January 14, 2011

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Are you having a zodiac-related identity crisis?

 

Nonsense on Public Radio, and the correct response:

Maybe you are a firm believer in astrology, or maybe you only have a faint sense of the zodiac sign you were born into, but either way there has been buzz this week that it might be all changing.
Parke Kunkle, of the Minnesota Planetarium Society, told the Star Tribune this week that we should be using the following astrological signs, based on the stars' current alignment. Has your sign "changed"? Do you care?

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

What, in the past, has your astrological sign been?

Virgo

It's a well known fact that all Virgos are skeptics about Astrology. Not a single Virgo has ever believed in Astrology, and that described me as well. I eschew all superstition. Science, however, has revealed to me time and again the validity of Triskaidekaphilia, and a 13 sign Zodiac intrigues.
How, if at all, might you be affected personally or professionally by a change to the Zodiac?
It's a well known fact that all Leos are gullible fools who subscribe to Astrology and every other sort of nonsense devised by man. Since I am now a Leo, I must believe in Astrology with all my heart and soul.  It will be difficult, but it must be done. I must be true to myself, after all.

Who are the winners and losers in regards to these changes (who can you see benefiting, and who can you see being negatively affected)?

I think that my friend (and the person who introduced me to Triskaidekaphilia) Lulina will be pleased.  I believe she saw my former skepticism as a sort of moral failing, or at the very least, a real conversation stopper.  Now we can start over on an entirely new footing.  On the other hand, I have no doubt that the Skeptics will be furious about this, they will rant and shout and wave coathangers in my face, and call me a Nazi and a Communist, and say that I am a dupe, or I was a federal agent all along.
How much stock do you generally put in astrology?
See above. Previously none, now I not only put stock in it, I put the entire soup in - carrots, potatoes, tomatoes - the whole nine yards.

Check out your new sign's horoscope for today. (Note! The dates are not reflective of the changes, so just look at the name of the sign.) Is it relevant to your life and if so, how?

As a Virgo, I find it to be nonsense.  As a former Virgo, now a Leo, I find today's horoscope for Leo to be spot on, amazing in its insight and accuracy 

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Take the time to find the right idea before you start to work. You'll be brilliant when you commit yourself to brainstorming.

What do you do for work?
 
Musician and owner of an independent music label

How do you describe your race or ethnicity?
Off-white

I want to play in your town for you and 2 of your friends. 
http://eventful.com/performers/matt-love-/P0-001-000156481-4/demands

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