I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Mortifying moment on TV a few minutes ago.

I just saw the pretender in chief on TV discussing the Palestinian
elections. It was a piteous sight. I'd say he was a liar and a
hypocrite, but I am convinced that he doesn't even know what he's
saying. He's suffered a stroke, or he's back on the bottle, or he's
under heavy sedation. Perhaps, like Reagan, we will learn the truth,
though probably only after he leaves office.

I wish there was a way to say "hey, I'm sorry. I didn't vote for this
guy, we're trying to stop him, we know he's an embarrassment, we are
trying hard to restore democracy to this country.

Word


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[CanYoAssDigIt] Abramoff and Saddam - separated at birth?

Bush can't remember meeting Abramoff, just like Rumsfeld can't
remember his grip and grin sessions with Saddam!

Bush picks Abramoff prosecutor for federal judgeship
Elisabeth Bumiller, New York Times
Friday, January 27, 2006
Washington -- The investigation into Jack Abramoff, the disgraced
Republican lobbyist, took a provocative new turn Thursday when the
Justice Department said the chief prosecutor in the inquiry would step
down next week because he had been nominated to a federal judgeship by
President Bush.

The prosecutor, Noel Hillman, is chief of the department's Office of
Public Integrity, and the move ends his involvement in an
investigation that has reached into the administration as well as into
the top ranks of the Republican leadership on Capitol Hill.

Democrats swiftly questioned the move's timing and called for a
special prosecutor as Bush faced a barrage of questions about why he
would not make public "grip and grin" photographs of himself with
Abramoff. The photographs apparently show Bush and Abramoff smiling at
White House Hanukkah parties and Republican fundraising receptions.

Bush's view, which he offered at a news conference Thursday morning
that was peppered with questions about Abramoff, was that the
photographs were so common as to be almost meaningless and that it was
part of his job "to shake hands with people and smile." He said he
couldn't remember posing for the pictures, or, for that matter, even
meeting Abramoff.

The White House, which announced Bush's selection of Hillman in a
routine e-mail message Wednesday afternoon that included 15 other
nominations to judgeships and federal jobs, dismissed the calls for a
special prosecutor.

"It's nothing but pure politics," said Scott McClellan, the White
House secretary. "The Justice Department is holding Mr. Abramoff to
account, and the career Justice prosecutors are continuing to fully
investigate the matter."

Special prosecutors have not been especially welcome at this White
House, where Patrick Fitzgerald, the special counsel in the CIA leak
case, is more than two years into an investigation that has resulted
in the indictment of a top vice presidential aide, Lewis "Scooter"
Libby, and has left Karl Rove, the president's chief political
adviser, in legal limbo.

Hillman's departure from the Justice Department creates a vacancy at
the top of the Abramoff investigation only three weeks after Abramoff,
once one of the city's most powerful Republican lobbyists and a major
fund-raiser for Bush, announced his guilty plea and agreed to testify
against others, possibly including members of Congress.

A former senior White House budget official, David Safavian, has been
indicted in the case on charges of lying about his contacts with
Abramoff, a former lobbying partner. The Justice Department's plea
agreement with Abramoff makes clear that prosecutors are investigating
several members of Congress and other public officials who accepted
gifts from the lobbyist in exchange for official acts.

Colleagues at the Justice Department say Hillman has been involved in
day-to-day management of the Abramoff investigation since it began
almost two years ago. The inquiry, which initially focused on
allegations that Abramoff defrauded Indian tribe casinos out of tens
of millions of dollars in lobbying fees, is being described within the
department as the most important federal corruption investigation in a
generation, given the large number of public officials who may be
implicated.

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[CanYoAssDigIt] Matt's excellent adventures in cyberspace, pt. 3

megaxslut is currently not in your Messenger List.
Add to your Messenger List (Ctrl+Shift+A) Report as Spam (Alt+Shift+R)

megaxslut: hi... anyone there?
valis2001us: hey megaxslut, you seem like a really nice girl
megaxslut: oh your there hi...
valis2001us: I don't tea bag the ladies, you know, I potato sack them
megaxslut: a//s/l (age sex location)?
valis2001us: 104, transvestite, mars
megaxslut: iim 27/f/USA. was lookin at your profile. thought you might
like to chat.
valis2001us: yeah, baby I'm ready.
megaxslut: so what have you been up to valis2001us??
valis2001us: quantum physics is my favorite topic
megaxslut: i have some pics on my homepage the liink is in my
profile, still working on it ...
valis2001us: Splitting atoms and watching tv
megaxslut: cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting
kinda horny (*blushes)
valis2001us: do you have any pictures of neutrons on your page?
megaxslut: how about you send me some pics
valis2001us: Hey, I'm watching tv too
megaxslut: feel like a little cybrr fun with me ? please please...
valis2001us: I have a picture of a lemur that's cute
valis2001us: and then I could cut your head off
megaxslut: i think ill just take that as a yes... being ass that im
starting to get real horny here.. lol ok?
valis2001us: are you being an ass? I'm being a giraffe
valis2001us: you chicks are getting so predictable in your come ons...
megaxslut: alright how bout i get down on my knees in froht of you
and help you out of your pants?
megaxslut: tell me what you want me to do with you while i slip out of
my ppanties
valis2001us: say something new and different
megaxslut: was just browwsing the yahoo profile thing. looked like you
might be an interesting person to chat with.
valis2001us: fix me a sandwich,
valis2001us: I'd be your pal for life
megaxslut: oh yeah babe.. dont stop. while i slide my hand down
between my legw and part my moist lips
valis2001us: could you iron my shirts?
valis2001us: maybe get me a beer while I'm watching educational tv?
valis2001us: open university, that's where I learn all my physics
megaxslut: oh it feels so good. Im holding your pulsing cock in my
hand, my shiny red fingernails dig gently into your bballs, while my
full, soft lips engulf the mass of your meat
valis2001us: and then you could, like, get a job and support both of us
megaxslut: open my eebsite so you can look at me while im sucking you.
use the link in my profile!
megaxslut: whatt do you think of my pics?
valis2001us: oh, megaxslut I love you, will you marry me?
megaxslut: shit the phone. dont stop stroking it. hold n...
valis2001us: I know this is kind of sudden, but I love you
valis2001us: please please please marry me
megaxslut: sorry, I have to take this call, probbly take bout five
minutes. If you want, come to my page and lets finish this. I have my
cam on there cyberfungirls dot com look for me on there
valis2001us: I want to stay home and watch tv my whole life
valis2001us: we can be so good for each other
valis2001us: megaxslut, come back!
valis2001us: Megaxslut, where are you?
valis2001us: Megaxslut, I need you, just like a dog needs a bone
valis2001us: like an actor needs a role
valis2001us: hello?
valis2001us: hello?
valis2001us: hello?


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Thursday, January 26, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [Bizarro_UltraZine] mangafolk: Manga guy and Manga butch

> > thigh hose, low cut sheer white blouses, what
> > Condolezzy will be wearing after she's inaugerated
>
>
> NOW you're talkin'!!!

bush, cheney, rice vacation while NOLA floods

what do you do in the face of one of the greatest natural disasters in
the history of your country? go shoe shopping:

The criticism is all the sharper because the President did nothing
to alter his holiday schedule for 48 hours. Vice-President Dick Cheney
remains on holiday in Wyoming. Condoleezza Rice, the Secretary of
State, returned to Washington after being seen shopping for $7,000
shoes in Manhattan as New Orleans went under.

****
Astonishing, isn't it? people remember a statement of callous
indifference that Marie Antoinette DIDN'T say centuries ago... but
they think a woman who really did display almost unbelievably cruel
indifference just months ago should be president!

There is no better evidence that I can think of to demonstrate that
every 18 months people are becoming half as intelligence.


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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: Looking for an answer of one sort or another...

If you do a Google image search on "realdoll" returns 2,320 results.
This "hidden" picture at la.indymedia.org is one of the top 8 hits.

It seems like that's an unfortunate association that could best be
broken by deleting the picture, not hiding it.

So what if most of the people that find it are pervs? I have no
interest in sex dolls, and I found it that way.

On 12/26/05, laindy <laindy@slaptech.net> wrote:
> Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I agree. It's not cool.
>
> The posts go up, but most are not seen by the moderators.
>
> The photo has been hidden.
>
> Joe Swordfish wrote:
>
> >I ran across the attached picture on your website at
> >
> >http://la.indymedia.org/uploads/2005/02/realdoll.jpg
> >
> >more or less by accident.
> >
> >Can you explain it? I was inder the somewhat hazy impression that
> >indymedia was a progressive organization.
> >
> >When I saw this picture, you know what I thought?
> >
> >I'll tell you what I thought. I thought "that ain't too cool!"
> >
> >That's what I thought.
> >
> >
> >--
> >***
> >Democracy is a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
> >- H.L. Mencken
> >
> >www.soundclick.com/bloodparadise
> >jackal music for jackass people
> >
> >
> >
>
>

--
***
Democracy is a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
- H.L. Mencken

www.soundclick.com/pseudojandek
jackal music for jackass people


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[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: do you remember...

Ian Tanner.

His name is Ian Tanner.

His webpage is at:

http://www.iantanner.com/

god, this thing was just chasing it's tail around through my wetware
for two days... I was driving myself crazy. then yesterday his first
name came to me... my internal monologue went something like....
"Monty"? ... no, not "monty".... "Trevor?" .... no, not "trevor"....
"Ian"?.... no, not "Ian".... "Ian?" no, it still isn't Ian.... "Ian?"
...no... "well, you dumbfuck, you've been at this for two days, and
you haven't come up with anything better. It's not Stephen, Robbie,
Alex or any of the ones you tried this morning." ... "ok, just as a
thought exercise, I'll go with Ian for a while. But it's not Ian."

A half hour later, the damp, dark folds of my brain coughed up his
last name, and hocked it up into my conscious mind like a loogie:
"Tanner."

"Ian Tanner. I guess it was Ian after all."

"Told ya so."

His stuff that I liked best was a bunch of stuff he gathered up and
called "songs nobody will like" or "songs everybody will hate."

Does any of this sound familiar yet?

On 1/21/06, Matt Love <matt.mattlove1@gmail.com> wrote:
> yes, that is a double good goddamn it! this is a fuck
>
> a giant, double headed one in the cunt one in the anus fuck
>
> oh well
>
> On 1/21/06, Joe Sibley <joesibley@comcast.net> wrote:
> > Well, I meet so much music...Console yourself with the knowledge that
> > having partial memory is better than none. I don't remember this at all.
> > GOD DAMN IT!
> >
> > Matt Love wrote:
> >
> > >... shit it's been bugging me for days. I should remember, we had a
> > >not bad correndence going. but it's gone, gone, gone... the name of
> > >the guy with the brian wilson fixation... with the webern inspired
> > >piece... did I ever burn a cd for you? if so, you might have his
> > >name, if not, I'm screwed.
> > >
> > >shit, my stupid stupid mind...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>


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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [Bizarro_UltraZine] Kate Moss to Publish Autobiography

Oh yeah, blame the drug addicted rock star.  Like that when her problems started. Like he was the first drug addicted rock star she ever got with.  Why do models date rock stars anyway?

They like their crooked, bad teeth?  Their bad skin and ugly noses? Their weirdly puny, hairless and hunchbacked frames?  Their toothpick arms and stupid haircuts?

No!  Rock stars have the best drug connections!

On 1/24/06, kdhaisch@aol.com < kdhaisch@aol.com> wrote:
from the IMDb...
 
 
 
 
Kate Moss has signed a $1.8-million deal for the rights to her autobiography, after Virgin mogul Sir Richard Branson convinced her she should set the record straight on her turbulent 2005.
 
The British supermodel began dating drug addicted rocker Pete Doherty at the start of the year, and her world came tumbling down when photographs showing her snorting cocaine were published by a British newspaper in September.
 
Branson's spokesperson says, "Richard and Kate have agreed to bring out her autobiography. It's a chance for her to put across her side of the story."  Moss has since managed to salvage her career, but she will still face police questioning over her drug use when she next returns to the UK.
 
 
SNORT !!!
 
 
 
 
.


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Monday, January 23, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] A Sincere Thank You

I am glad I have the news to tell me what to think. They had a news
story on upcoming Palestinian elections. Before the commercial break,
they told me that when they got back they would explain why "America
is dead set against the most popular party."

Well, it's an interesting construction, isn't it? I'm pretty sure
that most people in the US (they weren't talking about Venezuela or
Argentine, they meant the US) favor democracy, and don't have a
problem with democratic elections in which the people that get the
most votes win.

The regime in charge here has a passionate opposition to democracy
both here and abroad, and don't want the party that get the most votes
to win. They prefer global adherence to US standards of democracy -
the guy who doesn't get the most votes is the one that takes office,
if he's the one that will most favor the status quo.

This ruling elite (not America, as the news program would have it)
want the Palestinians to be ruled by people who will be most
accommodating to Israel's illegal aggression.

I sure am glad that the news is there to tell me what to think,
because otherwise I might make the mistake of supporting democracy.
Instead, I know what the party line is, and when anybody deviates from
it, I can viciously mock it. Maybe report the deviants to homeland
security.

Thank you network news, for telling me what to think!


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[CanYoAssDigIt] They'll Never Do That Again....

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several
years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice:
picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and
some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and
fixed up for swimming.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond
and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He
grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing
with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young
women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to
the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not
coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the
alligator."


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[CanYoAssDigIt] Fwd: [Robitron] I think this was Jabberwacky

These chatbot designers love to chat about there bots, and to show off the cute things their bots said in conversation. 

I thought this was pretty good

the > preceeds the human's comments in the conversation below.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Robby Garner <robby.garner@gmail.com>
Date: Jan 23, 2006 10:37 AM
Subject: [Robitron] I think this was Jabberwacky
To: Robitron@yahoogroups.com


>hello
Hello!

>Do you like fish?
What sort of fish.

>Cod?
Hello.

>Cod
Cod?

>yes
What is Cod?

>Cod is a kind of fish.
Please tell me more about a fish.

>Fish are small water breathing animals.
Fish are slimy!

>Yes, but they taste good.
Definitely. What about dogs?

>I've never tried dog.
You should try it. You will need a laboratory and a hunchback.




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