It's All About Me, Man

I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

[ITSALLABOUTMEMAN] Our Dinner Date With Destiny...

 

Do you suppose she will order the lobster?  I certainly hope so, I'm doing everything I can to make it a success.

I'm a little worried that I haven't heard from you recently. I am anxious to know if you can accomodate my timetable and location preferences.  It's highly critical for my future career that I be killed in this time and this place.

Here's something else I've done to prepare for this; I have commissioned a series of covers of some of my greatest songs, so that my heirs will have a product to put on the market immediately upon my death. Please give the first song they've completed a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc2FKyTt9PE&list=UUNuNHmcHUOs29zBR2kd39pg and let me know what you think. These boys are so talented!

 If I didn't mention before, I've updated my bio to include this information: http://www.last.fm/music/Matt+Love/+wiki.

So you see, it's important it comes off exactly as planned.

One more thing - are you a well-known assassin in Hong Kong?  It would be another thing that's good for my career to be assassinated by a famous guy.  Let me know!

Fondly,
Matt

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Posted by: matt love <mattlove1@gmail.com>
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Sunday, December 21, 2014

[ITSALLABOUTMEMAN] The elements are coming together, sir

 

Hi Garba

OK, I had this wonderful brainstorm last night, I could barely sleep for how wonderful it was, I couldn't wait to tell you about it.

I was hoping to see a new email from you this morning, I've come to look forward to them so much.  It's comforting to know that somebody is looking out for my interests in a world so full of hostile intent.

My question for you is do you think the people that hired you could wait into May 8, 2015 for you to bump me off? I have a performance scheduled for a reunion with my old band, Wimps, and it would be a smashing caper if you could assassinate me onstage during the performance.  The publicity would be amazing, and it would surely get my name in front of the world once again. 

Anticipating your approval of this plan, I've made changes in my official biography to reflect this series of events. Please read it all the way through to the end, and let me know what you think:
Thank you for your assistance in this undertaking!

Your friend,
Matt

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