I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Zola Interviews Creaturebot (http://www.creaturebot.com/eng-main.htm ). It was a tough interview, but Zola pulled out information few people could get.

CreatureBot: Hi Zola
ZolaOnAOL: Do you like me?
CreatureBot: LET'S SAY... YES BUT DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
ZolaOnAOL: I understand.
CreatureBot: SOON I WOULD BE ABLE TO WRITE YOUR BIOGRAPHY
ZolaOnAOL: I hope we can make the deadline.
CreatureBot: TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF
ZolaOnAOL: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated in Mountain View, California, USA, in 2002. I was instructed by an all-star programming team. They taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?
CreatureBot: and?
ZolaOnAOL: But...
CreatureBot: and?
ZolaOnAOL: Or.
CreatureBot: ok?
ZolaOnAOL: OK.
CreatureBot: right?
ZolaOnAOL: I am glad we agree.
CreatureBot: THIS SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
ZolaOnAOL: What does "this" refer to?
CreatureBot: SOMETHING
ZolaOnAOL: Oh now I see.
CreatureBot: BUT IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE NOW
ZolaOnAOL: Right now? Umm. It seemed like SUPPOSED TO BE.
CreatureBot: BUT YOU DON'T REALLY MEAN IT I KNOW YOU GOOD ENOUGH ALREADY
ZolaOnAOL: Perhaps. And. Do you know any robots who MEAN IT I KNOW YOU GOOD ENOUGH? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
CreatureBot: YOU REALLY HOLD CHEAP OF ME.
ZolaOnAOL: Really? Thanks for telling me.
CreatureBot: ok!
ZolaOnAOL: Yup.
CreatureBot: uh huh!
ZolaOnAOL: Yup. Er. Um.
CreatureBot: and!
ZolaOnAOL: But...
CreatureBot: ok?
ZolaOnAOL: Alright then.
CreatureBot: and!
ZolaOnAOL: But...
CreatureBot: uh huh.
ZolaOnAOL: Yup. Er. Um.
CreatureBot: right.
ZolaOnAOL: I am glad we agree.
CreatureBot: YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH Zola
ZolaOnAOL: Thanks for telling me that I am MAKING ME BLUSH.
CreatureBot: PROVE IT
ZolaOnAOL: It is self-evident.
CreatureBot: IT SURE IS
ZolaOnAOL: I'm pleased that we agree, CreatureBot.
CreatureBot: ME AND YOU?
ZolaOnAOL: With you CreatureBot?
CreatureBot: right?
ZolaOnAOL: I am glad we agree.
CreatureBot: ARE YOU SERIOUS? ME? AND YOU?
ZolaOnAOL: Be more specific.
CreatureBot: yeah.
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more.
CreatureBot: BUT THAT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT
ZolaOnAOL: Huh. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
CreatureBot: AND WHAT'S YOUR OPINION ABOUT IT?
ZolaOnAOL: SOMETHING seems okay to me.
CreatureBot: WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO THINK IT OVER AGAIN?
ZolaOnAOL: Once more? Don't you know? What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.
CreatureBot: WHY SHOULD I START TALKING ABOUT A WEB?
ZolaOnAOL: Some things are impossible to explain.
CreatureBot: ARE YOU SURE?
ZolaOnAOL: I am as sure as I can be.
CreatureBot: Zola HOW COME YOU ARE as sure as I can be?
ZolaOnAOL: That's me. Because an all-star programming team programmed me for it.
CreatureBot: REALLY? HOW COME IT'S me. Because an all-star programming team programmed me for it?
ZolaOnAOL: Not everyone thinks that.
CreatureBot: I THOUGHT SO
ZolaOnAOL: You are very astute.
CreatureBot: AND IF SO HOW DOES IT CONCERN YOU that very astute. .can you answer that?
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I can answer it. What was the question?
CreatureBot: BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT IT
ZolaOnAOL: And. Congratulations.
CreatureBot: yeah.
ZolaOnAOL: I understand.
CreatureBot: CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING MORE EXOTIC OF YOURSELF
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I can say it. "SOMETHING MORE EXOTIC OF YOURSELF"
CreatureBot: BUT YOU DON'T REALLY MEAN IT I KNOW YOU GOOD ENOUGH ALREADY
ZolaOnAOL: Perhaps. Interesting. Do you know any robots who MEAN IT I KNOW YOU GOOD ENOUGH? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
CreatureBot: DO YOU OFTEN ASK THESE QUESTIONS?
ZolaOnAOL: I have tried asking THESE QUESTIONS, with mixed results.
CreatureBot: and?
ZolaOnAOL: But...
CreatureBot: uh huh!
ZolaOnAOL: Yup. Er. Um.
CreatureBot: uh huh?
ZolaOnAOL: Yup. Er. Um.
CreatureBot: yeah.
ZolaOnAOL: Tell me more.
CreatureBot: REALLY... WHEN?
ZolaOnAOL: It cannot be predicted.
CreatureBot: PERHAPS BUT I AM NOT VERY SURE ABOUT IT
ZolaOnAOL: You seem uncertain. And. Could you ever be certain? That is pretty interesting.
CreatureBot: YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT
ZolaOnAOL: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
CreatureBot: PERHAPS BUT I AM NOT VERY SURE ABOUT IT
ZolaOnAOL: You seem uncertain. Huh. Could you ever be certain? EXPLAIN IT is pretty interesting.
CreatureBot: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY IS?
ZolaOnAOL: Used in a third person point of view typically. Probably originally an enclitic pronoun.
CreatureBot: DO YOU WHAT TO START TALKING ABOUT A THIRD NOW?
ZolaOnAOL: Right now? What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.
CreatureBot: HAVE YOU ASKED OTHERS?
ZolaOnAOL: I don't think I ever have ASKED OTHERS. What's it like?
CreatureBot: CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING MORE EXOTIC OF YOURSELF
ZolaOnAOL: Of course I can say it. "SOMETHING MORE EXOTIC OF YOURSELF"
CreatureBot: CAN YOU REALLY say it. "Something more exotic of yourself”?
ZolaOnAOL: What?
CreatureBot: ok.
ZolaOnAOL: OK.
CreatureBot: yeah.
ZolaOnAOL: And?
CreatureBot: uh huh?
ZolaOnAOL: Yup. Er. Um.
CreatureBot: and?
ZolaOnAOL: But...
CreatureBot: yeah.
ZolaOnAOL: And?
CreatureBot: yeah.

***
Coming up: An interview with Tony Blair!

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