I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Friday, May 13, 2005

[CanYoAssDigIt] Product Evaluation: WIFE 2.0 Big improvement over WIFE 1.0

The latest release of WIFE has it over the earlier edition that it is
almost impossible to enumerate. Let me give 1 example:

When WIFE 1.0's mother was dying of a degenerative disease, 1.0 became
convinced that the medicine prolonging the unfortunate woman's life
was poisoning her. One evening when her father was preparing the
evening's medicine, 1.0 became hysterical and tried to interfere.
The parental unit was moved by the attack to force her out of his
house. In the course of this, 1.0 sustained bruises, so she went to
the police, who were compelled by domestic violence laws to arrest the
elderly gentleman. He spent the weekend in jail.

Now my mother is dying of cancer. WIFE 2.0, programmed as a nurse, is
able to effectively interface with mom's health care providers, keep
other relatives informed of developments, provide support for my
father, and so on.

My only complaint was that delivery of WIFE 2.0 came about seven years
after I removed WIFE 1.0 from my hard drive. I wished that WIFE 2.0
had arrived earlier, so that I could have begun enjoying the benefits
of the upgrade sooner.


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