I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Re: [CanYoAssDigIt] Fwd: Eminem Cancels European Tour

I ADORE all those headlines. That's fuckin entertainment! An exercise for the imagination. Since I don't know most of the "artists" mentioned, I don't know where the rapper/ band name ends and the rest of the sentence begins.

"311's Don't Tread Walks In Footsteps Of Van Halen, Pantera"
That is right.

"Girlz Of Destruction Obliterating Gaming Gender Barriers"
Ooh! Wonder what risky thing they're doing to eliminate outdated gender roles! Betcha they're going to forfeit all the advantages traditionally associated with being a womyn!

'Five Letters, One Word': Diddy Drops The 'P'
Make that 72-point type! Right up there with "Japs Bomb Pearl Harbor!"

"New 'Zelda' Delayed Until Early 2006 — At Least"
Lord, stop my tears!

On 8/19/05, Matt Love <matt.mattlove1@gmail.com> wrote:
I was so ashamed to be caught out in peddling days old celebrity
gossip that I subscribed to MTVs news list so I could get the latest
and greatest as it happens.

Of course, you never really get the real news when it happens.  When
Courtney ODs at a party, she was "having a fainting spell."

When Kurt Cobain attempted suicide a couple weeks before his
successful attempt, they blamed it on flu medication and a prim little
glass of wine (I think he was in Rome at the time).

Armed as we are with the Bizarro-Ultrazine-Bullshit-
Detector, I predict it's just a matter of time before we get the real
story about whats up with this vile creep.  Let's just hope it's
terminal

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: MTV News <mtvnews@mx.mtvagent.com>
Date: Aug 17, 2005 5:54 AM
Subject: Eminem Cancels European Tour
To: Matt Love < matt.mattlove1@gmail.com>



  TOP STORIES FOR 8.17.2005


Eminem Cancels European Tour Due To Exhaustion

Citing exhaustion complicated by other medical issues, Eminem has
canceled his European tour dates. The shows are not expected to be
rescheduled, according to a statement released by his record label
late Tuesday.

More


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Judge Reduces Murder Charges Against Cassidy, Sets Bail at $2.5 Million

Notorious B.I.G.'s Family Seeks $2 Million In Legal Fees

For The Record: Quick News On Phil Anselmo, Good Charlotte, Ludacris,
Ciara, Avril Lavigne, Gorillaz & More

For 'Virgin' Leading Man Steve Carell, First Time's A Charm

Madonna Injured In Horseback-Riding Accident

Bored With Sleeping In Pools Of Money, Fall Out Boy Plot Secret Tour

Girlz Of Destruction Obliterating Gaming Gender Barriers

'Five Letters, One Word': Diddy Drops The 'P'

311's Don't Tread Walks In Footsteps Of Van Halen, Pantera

Labels Fighting Over Music Pitbull Made When He Was A Puppy

Single Mother Of Five Takes On RIAA In Downloading Case

Dropping Daylight: Music-School Dropouts Who Insist Keyboards Rock

Alicia Keys Targeting Film Assassin Role Alongside Affleck

Relient K Kind Of Like Getting Flipped The Bird

New 'Zelda' Delayed Until Early 2006 — At Least

Elliott Smith, Polyphonics Bring Balance To 'Thumbsucker' Soundtrack

'Sin City' Co-Directors Working On Sequels, Eyeing A Tarantino Replacement


More Headlines

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