I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Fwd: By your 37th birthday, Matt, a miracle could change your life. Don't miss this chance!

Rochelle the psychic missed the boat on this one, didn't she?

Aside from the fact tht my 37th BD came and went without much of a miracle, there's that whole spirit animal thing.

I already have a spirit animal, who has already left a gift for me.  In fact, I should go clean it up now before somebody steps in it.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Rochelle Gordon <rochelle@myhealthwealthandhappiness.com >
Date: 09 Sep 2006 06:48:09 -0400
Subject: By your 37th birthday, Matt, a miracle could change your life. Don't miss this chance!
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com



Rochelle's Credentials

By the time you turn 37, Matt, you could see a miracle happen in your life!





YOUR "POWER CRYSTAL" CHARM

Your


Yes, Matt! As I told you in an earlier email, since your birth in 1970, an invisible Divine Being has chosen to bestow you with a Secret Power that will give you Joy, Health and more Money.

I want to show you how to call on your
Spirit Animal Helper for all kinds of help.

    Don't worry, you don't have to be a Shaman or a psychic to do this. In fact, you don't need any special skills whatsoever! All you need is faith in the love of your Spirit Animal Helper, and a little knowledge of how he "works," so you can work with him.

    Even if your Spirit Animal Helper has strayed from your side, I'm going to tell you how to bring him back.

    It's very simple...and all the information you need is in a special study,

"YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL HELPER:
THE DIVINE GUARDIAN OF YOUR HAPPINESS"

    With this easy-to-follow instruction guide in your hands, you will finally be reunited with your Spirit Animal Helper -- the loving companion who has been beside you all your life. And you'll probably be surprised at how much comfort and peace of mind your Spirit Animal can bring you once you make contact with him. Some people say it's like finding a long-lost, very powerful friend!

   The first thing you need to know is which Spirit Animal Helper was "assigned" to you when you were born, and the special traits and talents this Spirit Animal lends you. This will show you how to discover your Spirit Animal.

You'll also find out how to get the protection
you need from your Spirit Animal Helper.

    He will watch over your home, family, pets and other precious possessions -- all you have to do is ask!

    With "Your Spirit Animal Helper: The Divine Guardian of Your Happiness," you will understand the personal messages that your Spirit Animal Helper is sending you. For example:
  • Do you know what it means when a bird builds a nest near your home? (It could mean a baby is coming into your family!)

  • Or when a chipmunk scampers by? (It may be warning you to conserve your energy or money.)

  • Or when you see a spider in your house? (Spiders mean hope, and often wealth!)

  • Or when you see a dolphin or meditate on its image? (It can help you find your way when you feel lost or stranded.)

  • Or when a ladybug lands on your hand? (Make a wish! It means you're beginning a new and lucky period in your life.)
    Once you understand these signs, it will be as if you're receiving secret messages from the Spirit World!

Wait! To help you make an even stronger connection
with your Spirit Animal Helper, I want you to have this
"POWER CRYSTAL" CHARM as my FREE gift to you!

    This extraordinary crystal charm is not only beautiful, it also has the power to help you contact your Spirit Animal Helper. Crystal has been prized for centuries because it can put us in touch with the Spirit World.

    If you carry or wear this Charm every day, you will always feel the presence of your Spirit Animal Helper. You will feel protected and guided by its Divine wisdom and power. Cherish your Crystal Charm, and it will attract to you all the wonderful blessings you desire!

Your

Don't Miss This Chance for Happiness Trust the power of your Spirit Animal Helper,
and your whole life will be completely
transformed before your next birthday!

    Personally, I would like nothing better than to see you accept such a wonderful change, because YOU REALLY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! That's why I hope you'll send for a copy of "Your Spirit Animal Helper" TODAY.


And I managed to get you a discount of over 60%

    And because I don't want you to wait any longer for the joy and fulfillment you could be experiencing right now, I've arranged for you to have this book for $9.95, a 60% discount. You'll save more than $15.00 off the regular price.

And, the magic of your Spirit Animal Helper
comes to you Absolutely Risk-FREE!

    That's right, because if at any time, for any reason, you're not 100% convinced that the secret information contained in "Your Spirit Animal Helper: The Divine Guardian of Your Happiness" has helped bring a miraculous sense of Security and Well-Being into your life...all you have to do is return the book to me and I WILL REFUND YOUR PAYMENT, including the shipping and handling charge, immediately.

Your Spirit Animal Helper is Waiting for You!

    No matter how much help you need, Matt, your Spirit Animal Helper is ready and waiting to serve you and turn your worries and difficulties into SECURITY, SUCCESS, and REAL, LASTING JOY!

    Matt, you will be amazed at the abundance your Spirit Animal will bring into your life. That is why it is so important for you to have this book. After all, your Spirit Animal is with you, right now, ready to help. Don't waste another minute, Matt, it's risk-free! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

    Simply use the button below, and by the time you turn 37, you will have at your side the most loving, powerful friend you've ever dreamed of...for life.

    Sincerely,

    

button


P.S. -- Please, Matt, don't delay. Your Spirit Animal and I both have wonderful gifts to give you as soon as you respond!



If you no longer wish to receive any emails from me, you may click on the link below. But by doing this, Matt, it means that I will not be able to send you exclusive opportunities for offers and discounts or important updates on astrological events and how they'll affect you. To follow good Internet etiquette, once you've asked to be deleted from one kind of email from me, I'm required to stop contacting you completely. So, Matt, if you wish to no longer receive any emails from me, simply visit here or send a letter to me at 167 Cherry St. PMB 292, Milford CT 06460-3400.

 

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, Yo missed your chance for a miracle, kept your $9.95 instead and you are surprised that your animal left you a gift to clean up?
*G*.

Anonymous said...

Seeing these kind of posts reminds me of just how technology truly is an integral part of our lives in this day and age, and I am fairly confident when I say that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.


I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as the price of memory falls, the possibility of downloading our memories onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could experience in my lifetime.


(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://knol.google.com/k/anonymous/-/9v7ff0hnkzef/1]R4i SDHC[/url] DS SurfV3)

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