I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Matt's excellent adventures in cyberspace, pt. 4

Blank says:
hi
Blank says:
FUCK YOU CUNT
Blank says:
WHY DONT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE
Matt Love says:
gosh, I didn't know you felt that way about me. I thought we were friends
Blank says:
so did I matt.....so did I
Matt Love says:
do I get an explanation?
Blank says:
NOT UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN WHY YOU DID THIS TO ME
Matt Love says:
did what?
Blank says:
WHY DID YOU CHEAT WITH HER
Matt Love says:
cheat with her? I'm about 8000 miles away.
Blank says:
liar.....
Blank says:
LIAR.....
Matt Love says:
or maybe cheat with who is the question
Blank says:
LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Blank says:
maybe you should suck my dick is the question
Matt Love says:
or maybe cheat at what. cards?
Blank says:
dont play funny with me
Matt Love says:
Is this one of those theatre things?
Matt Love says:
role playing?
Matt Love says:
I'm not very good at it.
Matt Love says:
I'm seriously baffled
Blank says:
nah im just some guy who went on your friends acount because he left it on
Blank says:
in this internet cafe
Blank says:
yea
Matt Love says:
oh, fuck, that is hilarious
Blank says:
i know
Blank says:
maybe i should sign him out
Matt Love says:
you are a decent human being if you explained yourself
Blank says:
but hen again
Blank says:
*then
Matt Love says:
I really am in Wenatchee washington, usa
Blank says:
lol
Matt Love says:
I couldn't a cheated. but it was a good try
Blank says:
im inaustralia
Matt Love says:
it mighta worked.
Blank says:
*australia
Matt Love says:
yes, sidney, right?
Matt Love says:
in an internet cafe somewhere?
Blank says:
yea but im just some guy who went on your friends email because he left it on
Matt Love says:
yeah, I understand. It's been nice chatting, but my wife says I have
to go feed the dogs.
Blank says:
ok...
Blank says:
and im only 15
Blank says:
wow
Matt Love says:
I'm 3 times your age plus 4
Matt Love says:
a little math problem for you
Blank says:
well good luck with your dog feeding
Blank says:
hey im advanced for my year
Matt Love says:
oh, they usually take off a finger or 2 but
Matt Love says:
I'll manage
Blank says:
49 wow
Matt Love says:
yep, and still alive to tell the tale
Blank says:
id call you old but that would be rufe
Blank says:
eh
Matt Love says:
that's ok Leslie does all the tiem
Matt Love says:
time
Blank says:
your daughter?
Matt Love says:
no, my buddy who's account you're using
Blank says:
ooooohhhhhh
Matt Love says:
he's actually a guy, despite being named Leslie
Blank says:
ok
Blank says:
well lemme guess you want me to sign out
Matt Love says:
seriously, I gotta run. good prank, maybe next time you can break up a
friendship or something.
Matt Love says:
take care, bye
Blank says:
bye

Spike Lee disses Condoleezza "Great Legs" Rice

everybody seems hung up on that shoe issue. I remember the total absence of jokes and slams on Imelda Marcos when the issue of her shoe thing was gently brought up.

Condoleezza displeaza Spike
 

l
Condoleezza Rice

Firebrand director Spike Lee has found an unlikely [yeah!  all black people should love all other black people, just like Colin Powell should love Idi Amin!] new target for his latest spray: the secretary of state.
Says Lee: "I dislike Condoleezza Rice more than [President] Bush. The thing about it is that she's gotten a free ride from black people."
"People say, 'She's so successful' and 'Look at her position as a black woman.' She is a black woman who grew up in Birmingham, Ala., and said that she never experienced a day of racism in her life," Lee tells the April issue of Stuff magazine.
"Condi, stop smoking that crack!"
"I know you love your Ferragamo shoes, but come on. While people were drowning in New Orleans, she was going up and down Madison Ave. buying Ferragamo shoes. Then she went to see 'Spamalot.'"
  http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/396582p-336150c.html   P.S.  She also played tennis with Monica Seles, after her shoe shopping spree. http://www.gawker.com/news/condoleezza-rice/breaking-condi-rice-spends-salary-on-shoes-123467.php

Friday, March 03, 2006

Leave us alone, Britney

Hey Britney glad to hear about your marriage. I've been getting your
spam on many, many yahoo lists I'm on, and I've been getting them for
a long time. I always wondered if your frenetic level of e-mail
activity was a result of sexual frustration. Now that you are married,
maybe you will knock it the fuck off.

Will you and your hubby be going to see Christopher Guest's next
movie, For Your Consideration? It's in post-production, and it's
supposed to be released this year... I'll bet it's going to be
absolutely killer.


> Date: Fri, 3 Mar 2006 09:22:53 +0100
> From: "brittney-steele417@justthewayuwant.com" <brittney-steele417@justthewayuwant.com>
> Subject: Looking for your perfect some1? Look no further
>
> Well I just got married! I can't believe it, just last year I was beginning to think i would never meet anyone. I'm 25 already and I thought it was all over. After some recommendations from a buddy I joined up here: http://www.alwaysopenforyou.info/gxpt and after 4 weeks I was already meeting up with a beauty. Well, 14 months later and where still together and married =)
>
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________

Votes Against Us in the U.N.

>Member States have records of voting against the U.S. that are equally as bad as the > records of the countries named in the message above.

Snopes should stick with Urban Myths, which they do very well. When they get going on political stuff, they show their bias. 

Take the above sentence for example.  They could have said:

Member States have records of voting against the U.S. that are equally as principled as the records of the countries named in the message above.

Member States have records of voting against the U.S. that are equally as virtuous as the records of the countries named in the message above.

Member States have records of voting against the U.S. that are equally as correct as the records of the countries named in the message above.

or simply,

Member States have records of voting against the U.S. that are equally as good as the records of the countries named in the message above.

I'm not saying these are better ways of saying it - but they are equally good ways that Snopes would not under any circumstances have

There are some very good reasons why the rest of the world often votes against US (not "us", since the government rarely acts in our interests when it acts in international affairs) - and the US knows this, which is why they insisted on a veto for security council members. A veto it has used far, far more often than other security council members, even at the height of cold war propaganda about Soviet obstructionism.

If you have time and want to explore Snope's bias, check out this page:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/smarter.asp



On 3/3/06, Steven McCabe <blue_meanie_9@yahoo.com> wrote:
United Condemnations  
 
 
Advertisement
Claim:   Arab/Islamic states consistently vote against the U.S. in the United Nations.

Status:   True.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 2003]


How they vote at the U.N.!

Below are the actual voting records of various Arabic/Islamic States which are recorded in both the US State Department and United Nations records:

Kuwait votes against the United States 67% of the time.
Qatar votes against the United States 67% of the time.
Morocco votes against the United States 70% of the time.
United Arab Emirates votes against the U. S. 70% of the time.
Jordan votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Tunisia votes against the United States 71% of the time.
Saudi Arabia votes against the United States 73% of the time.
Yemen votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Algeria votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Oman votes against the United States 74% of the time.
Sudan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Pakistan votes against the United States 75% of the time.
Libya votes against the United States 76% of the time.
Egypt votes against the United States 79% of the time.
Lebanon votes against the United States 80% of the time.
India votes against the United States 81% of the time.
Syria votes against the United States 84% of the time.
Mauritania votes against the United States 87% of the time.

US Foreign Aid to those that hate us:

Egypt, for example, after voting 79% of the time against the United States, still receives $2 billion annually in US Foreign Aid.

Jordan votes 71% against the United States and receives $192,814,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.

Pakistan votes 75% against the United States receives $6,721,000 annually in US Foreign Aid.

India votes 81% against the United States receives $143,699,000 annually

Perhaps it is time to get out of the UN and give the tax savings back to the American workers who are having to skimp and sacrifice to pay the taxes.

Pass it along. Everyone needs to know this. Might even mention it to your congressman, who knows this anyway... what a disgrace... no wonder the world has no respect for us.

Origins:   This
Click Here
is one of those items that seems simple enough to verify at first blush, but proves quite difficult in practice.

First of all, we have to consider what our parameters are:
  • Are we measuring the voting records of the named countries across the entire six-decade history of the United Nations, or only from some subset of that period?
  • Which votes are we counting — just those of the General Assembly, or also those of the Main Committees and the Security Council?
Even deciding that we're only going to consider the postions various countries took on resolutions presented to the General Assembly during a specified time period still makes compiling an accurate tally difficult, because:
  • The majority of General Assembly resolutions are adopted without a vote.
  • Unless a recorded vote is specifically requested before a resolution is voted upon, the U.N. makes available a voting summary which provides only a tally of the final vote, not a listing of how individual Member States voted.
Once we narrow our focus to resolutions submitted to a recorded vote, we still have some thorny issues to consider:
  • Nearly every resolution ends up with some Member States either abstaining or failing to vote on it. When countries abstain from voting on a resolution which the U.S. either supports or opposes, are those countries to be regarded as voting against the U.S. (because they failed to support its vote), or are they to be considered as neutral parties neither for nor against the U.S.?
  • Quite often U.N. votes address the issue of whether a single paragraph (or even just a few words) in the draft of a resolution should be changed or omitted. When the U.S. otherwise supports a resolution but seeks to change some of its wording, are other countries to be regarded as voting against the U.S. if they do not also vote in favor of the alterations?
Since we had to start somewhere, we tallied the recorded votes for all resolutions put before the General Assembly so far during the current session, running from October 2003 to mid-April 2004. We counted all votes, whether they involved adopting resolutions as a whole or making alterations to draft resolutions. When countries abstained or otherwise failed to vote, we counted them as voting neither for nor against the U.S. Likewise, when the U.S. abstained from voting on resolutions, we did not include other countries' votes on those resolutions in our totals.

The results of this tally were even worse (from a U.S. perspective) than the message quoted above indicates, with the countries named voting contrary to the U.S. position on U.N. resolutions an aggregate 88% of the time. (Even though India is neither Arab nor particularly Islamic, we included it in our chart because the widely-circulated e-mailed list did.)

Country Times Voted With U.S . Times Voted Against U.S. % of Votes Against U.S.
Kuwait 10 61 86%
Qatar 9 64 88%
Morocco 8 62 89%
United Arab Emirates 8 61 88%
Jordan 9 64 88%
Tunisia 8 63 89%
Saudi Arabia 7 62 90%
Yemen 9 64 88%
Algeria 9 63 88%
Oman 9 63 88%
Sudan 10 60 86%
Pakistan 9 59 87%
Libya 8 63 89%
Egypt 10 63 86%
Lebanon 7 62 90%
India 14 52 79%
Syria 7 59 89%
Mauritania 7 63 90%

However, we also surveyed the U.N. voting records of several countries generally considered to be close allies of the U.S., and those results were none too impressive either. Only Israel consistently voted with the U.S.:

Country Times Voted With U.S. Times Voted Against U.S. % of Votes Against U.S.
Australia 33 26 44%
Canada 31 32 51%
Israel 56 7 11%
Japan 26 36 58%
United Kingdom 40 27 40%
France 36 31 46%

How much significance one should place in these figures is problematic, because most other U.N. Member States have records of voting against the U.S. that are equally as bad as the records of the countries named in the message above. U.N. votes on resolutions are frequently lopsided, pitting a single nation or a handful of nations against all the others, and more often than not the U.S. is the one nation at odds with the rest of the world. Of the 83 resolutions we surveyed for our informal tally, in ten cases the U.S. was the only Member State to vote against them, and in five cases only one other nation joined the U.S. in voting against them. In fact, in over half the total cases (42 out of 83), the U.S. was supported by five or fewer Member States in voting against a U.N. resolution. So it isn't just the Arab/Islamic states who consistently vote against the U.S. in the United Nations — pretty much the rest of the world does, too.

Last updated:   6 May 2004
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/unvote.asp

Vitiate in these musics

Luciana writes, Google translates:

Thursday, March 02, 2006 Vão in jukebox of the Fonal Records
(www.fonal.com) and say me that language is this. Extraterrestre? I
only know that I love and that I tô vitiated in these musics.

***

Matt sez, in desperate need of translation:

It's Finnish, which is a dialect of Extraterrestre.

I've actually told her it's Finnish (I once met somebody who was
taking Beginning Finnish, I asked her if that was not an oxymoron.
NO, SHE DID NOT GET IT.) but it's still hard to know how much she
understands, especially when I like wordplay and puns so much.

Word.

ps. she's right about the music, it's good listening.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

They know their stuff....

They know their Jandek fans, don't they? (read the "Visitors
interested in Jandek Lyrics may also interested in..." part)

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Nancy-Sings-lyrics-Jandek/A6498BBF5E7E31F8482570980005A9AC

Nancy Sings Lyrics
Artist(Band):Jandek
Review The Song (0)
Print the Lyrics

Nancy Sings Lyrics

MP3 Downloads

Send Jandek polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone

A dozen drops fall from your face
Shaking the rain in a quiet place
Shining clean a fresh new day
Wakes up the world in a fragrant bouquet
Listen to the sound of a constant fall
Skies give water for life of all
If you reach into the air
Rain will come to kiss your hair
Listen to the sound of a constant fall
Skies give water for life of all
If you reach into the air
Rain will come to kiss your hair

If you find some error in Nancy Sings Lyrics,
would you please submit your corrections to me? Thank You.

Visitors interested in Jandek Lyrics may also interested in:

# Jack Johnson Lyrics
# Nickelback Lyrics
# Pink Floyd Lyrics
# Busted Lyrics
# DJ Sammy Lyrics
# Lil' Bow Wow Lyrics
# Natasha Bedingfield Lyrics
# Coheed And Cambria Lyrics
# Jennifer Lopez Lyrics
# Beyonce Knowles Lyrics
# Pearl Jam Lyrics
# The Game Lyrics
# Casting Crowns Lyrics
# Elvis Presley Lyrics
# Franz Ferdinand Lyrics
# Hawthorne Heights Lyrics
# Keith Urban Lyrics
# Sean Paul Lyrics
# Vanessa Carlton Lyrics
# Jessica Simpson Lyrics
# LeAnn Rimes Lyrics
# Breaking Benjamin Lyrics
# Gavin DeGraw Lyrics
# T.I. Lyrics
# A.F.I. (AFI) Lyrics
# Brandy Lyrics
# Frankie J. Lyrics
# Korn Lyrics
# Alexisonfire Lyrics
# Cradle Of Filth Lyrics

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt]D’oh! More know Simpsons than Constitution

People aren't being stupid, they just have good reality contact.  Ever since Homer Simpson was elected, First Amendment rights have been being eliminated one by one. By the time Barney takes office, they'll all be gone.

D'oh! More know Simpsons than Constitution

Study: America more familiar with cartoon family than First Amendment

Image: The Simpsons
Only one in four Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms in the First Amendment, but more than half can name at least two family members of "The Simpsons" (from left, Lisa, Marge, Maggie, Homer and Bart).
Fox via AP file
Updated: 1:22 a.m. ET March 1, 2006
CHICAGO - Americans apparently know more about "The Simpsons" than they do about the First Amendment.
Only one in four Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment.
But more than half can name at least two members of the cartoon family, according to a survey.
The study by the new McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum found that 22 percent of Americans could name all five Simpson family members, compared with just one in 1,000 people who could name all five First Amendment freedoms.
  Click for related content
Joe Madeira, director of exhibitions at the museum, said he was surprised by the results.
"Part of the survey really shows there are misconceptions, and part of our mission is to clear up these misconceptions," said Madeira, whose museum will be dedicated to helping visitors understand the First Amendment when it opens in April. "It means we have our job cut out for us."
The survey found more people could name the three "American Idol" judges than identify three First Amendment rights. They were also more likely to remember popular advertising slogans.
It also showed that people misidentified First Amendment rights. About one in five people thought the right to own a pet was protected, and 38 percent said they believed the right against self-incrimination contained in the Fifth Amendment was a First Amendment right, the survey found.
The telephone survey of 1,000 adults was conducted Jan. 20-22 by the research firm Synovate and had a margin of error of plus or minus 3 percentage points.
_________________________________________________________
Editor's note: The five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment are freedom of speech, religion, press, assembly and petition for redress of grievances.
 


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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] bizarro news: 66% have reality contact

This is indeed bizarro news. Since he's doing the same shitty job as
he's always done, I'd expect him to be getting 90% approval ratings as
before.

In a reasonable society, he'd be getting 1 or 2% approval - among the
severely retarded and the criminally insane. Since there's little
evidence that this is turning into a reasonable society, I find it
perplexing that a large majority of people have developed some reality
contact.

****

Bush Approval Rating on Iraq, Presidency At All-Time Low In other
news, a new CBS News poll has found the number of Americans who
approve of President Bush's overall job performance and his handling
of the Iraq war has fallen to an all-time low. 34 percent of Americans
give the President a favorable job approval rating, while even less --
30 percent -- approve of the President's handling of the Iraq war.
Meanwhile, less than a third of Americans believe President Bush has
adequately responded to the needs of victims of Hurricane Katrina.


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Friday, February 24, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] The Cartoons that Shook the World

Unique among religions, the Mystic Knights of the Easter Bunny welcome ridicule of our faith and our deity.  In fact, it is one of the central tenets of our belief.

So if you want to make fun of the Easter Bunny - the Grand Ayatollah Gleaming Skull sez "bring it on!"

Larry Sakin
The Cartoons that Shook the World
23 February 2006

When I first read about the Islamic response to a Danish newspapers' publishing of cartoons depicting Mohammed, I remembered the worldwide reaction Sinead O'Connor received when she ripped up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live. I also thought of the reactions of Christians to Martin Scorsese's "Last Temptation of Christ."

All religious people react irrationally when a symbol of their belief is somehow denigrated. Religion is deeply ingrained upon the emotions of individuals and they often act emotionally when their beliefs are challenged. And because religion can be felt on such a deep level, it sometimes becomes a good breeding ground for fanatics.
 
 
 



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[CanYoAssDigIt] Good News for Modern Matt

GOOD NEWS from BBC News: Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

Men could
reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular
masturbation, researchers suggest. They say cancer-causing chemicals
could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly. And
they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect
because of the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted
infection, which could increase men's cancer risk. Australian
researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate
cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits. They found
those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were
the least likely to develop the cancer. The protective effect was
greatest while the men were in their 20s. Men who ejaculated more
than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate
cancer later in life. FLUID Previous research has suggested that a
high number of sexual partners or a high level of sexual activity
increased a man's risk of developing prostate cancer by up to 40%.
But the Australian researchers who carried out this study suggest the
early work missed the protective effect of ejaculation because it
focused on sexual intercourse, with its associated risk of STIs.
Graham Giles, of the Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne, who led
the research team, told New Scientist: "Had we been able to remove
ejaculations associated with sexual intercourse, there should have
been an even stronger protective effect of ejaculations." The
researchers suggest that ejaculating may prevent carcinogens
accumulating in the prostate gland. The prostate provides a fluid
into semen during ejaculation that activates sperm and prevents them
sticking together. The fluid has high concentrations of substances
including potassium, zinc, fructose and citric acid, which are drawn
from the bloodstream. But animal studies have shown carcinogens such
as 3-methylchloranthrene, found in cigarette smoke, are also
concentrated in the prostate. 'Flushing out' Dr Giles said fewer
ejaculations may mean the carcinogens build up. "It's a prostatic
stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less
there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them." A
similar connection has been found between breast cancer and
breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to "flush out" carcinogens,
reduce a woman's risk of the disease, New Scientist reports. Another
theory put forward by the researchers is that ejaculation may induce
prostate glands to mature fully, making them less susceptible to
carcinogens. Dr Chris Hiley, head of policy and research at the UK's
Prostate Cancer Charity, told BBC News Online: "This is a plausible
theory." She added: "In the same way the human papillomavirus has
been linked to cervical cancer, there is a suggestion that bits of
prostate cancer may be related to a sexually transmitted infection
earlier in life." Anthony Smith, deputy director of the Australian
Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society at La Trobe University in
Melbourne, said the research could affect the kind of lifestyle
advice doctors give to patients. "Masturbation is part of people's
sexual repertoire. "If these findings hold up, then it's perfectly
reasonable that men should be encouraged to masturbate," he said.
"This is a plausible theory," said Dr Chris Hiley, Prostate Cancer
Charity.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ImpeachGeorgeWBush

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[CanYoAssDigIt] Charity is now a crime

Don't give anything to the needy, or you will be investigated

* Venezuelan-Owned Citgo Faces Congressional Inquiry For Offering Discounted
Oil to U.S. Poor *

Republican Congressmember Joe Barton of Texas has launched an investigation
into one of the world¹s major oil companies - Citgo. The Venezuelan-owned
company announced a discounted gas program for poor Americans last year.
We¹ll speak with Democratic New York Congressman Jose Serrano, one of the
few members of Congress promoting this effort.

Listen/Watch/Read
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=06/02/24/1513213

We turn now to a story that Juan Gonzalez has been covering in the New
York Daily News.

In Washington, Republican Congressman Joe Barton of Texas has launched
an investigation into one of the world's major oil companies. But he
is not investigating whether any of the oil giants are engaging in
price gouging at a time when gasoline and heating oil casts are
skyrocketing. Instead Barton has set his sights on the only oil
company that actually dared to lower its prices last year - at least
for the poorest Americans. Last week Barton demanded the
Venezuelan-owned company Citgo produce all records, minutes, logs,
e-mails and even desk calendars related to the company's novel program
of supplying discounted heating oil to low-income communities in the
United States. The Citgo program, which began late last year in
Massachusetts and the South Bronx, provides oil at discounts as high
as 60% off market price. We hear an excerpt of Venezuelan President
Hugo Chavez. He first announced the discounted gas program during an
interview with Democracy Now! on September 16, 2005.

* Rep. Jose Serrano, (D-New York)

To purchase an audio or video copy of this entire program, click here
for our new online ordering or call 1 (888) 999-3877.


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Thursday, February 23, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Tootsie Vs. Mrs. Doubtfire

Ok, let's forget for a moment that the country is being run by a bunch
of lying pirates and thugs perfectly capable of covert actions that
would lead to the deaths of hundreds of civilians (they've killed at
least 100,000 - why would they regard a few hundred more as a
problem?) -

I have an idea for a new movie!

Let me set the scene - the outskirts of Tokyo. people are heading
into the city to work. Busy, orderly, industrious, reluctant to
re-militarize their society in the way the Cheney administration wants
them too.

Then, quietly at first, almost inaudible - thoom, thoom, thoom....

gradually all activity stops, people begin to murmur between themselves....

thoom, thoom, thoom....

.... shooting sharp glances around, bewildered, uncertain where the
sound is coming from....

thoom, thoom, thoom....

the sound increases in intensity, the ground begins to shake, plaster
is cracking, people begin to run pell mell, in a panic, still not
knowing what is towards the danger, what is away...

THOOM THOOM THOOM

quick montage of scenes - the floor under a sushi chef suddenly
lurches, he cuts his arm and screams in pain... Mr. Moto takes out a
magnifying glass and examines a piece of fallen plaster... Bill
Murray and Scarlett Johanson race out of a hotel, objects falling
around them...

And then we see it, a giant, gigantic, gargantuan Dustin Hoffman IN
DRAG lurches into view, smashing everything in his path!

The usual scenes of mayhem and destruction. Oh, who will save the
good people of Tokyo now - but just when it seems hopeless - Robin
Williams IN DRAG, lurches out of the waters of Tokyo Bay, eyes
glowing, spitting fire.

Tokyo's beloved champion shrieks out his challenge. Started, Dustin
Hoffman turns, his red dress shimmering in the firelight. He shoots
stinging foam into Williams eyes, who staggers, bellowing, clawing at
his blinded eyes. But he recovers and hocks a huge fireball at
Hoffman!

What do you think?


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Sunday, February 19, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Fwd: Invitation to join the OrthodoxMysticKnightsoftheEasterBunny group


On 20 Feb 2006 04:44:04 -0000, OrthodoxMysticKnightsoftheEasterBunny moderator < OrthodoxMysticKnightsoftheEasterBunny-owner@yahoogroups.com> wrote:











This invitation expires in 30 days. Monday, 20 February 2006 - 4:44 AM GMT

















matt.mattlove1@gmail.com has invited you to join the OrthodoxMysticKnightsoftheEasterBunny group!











An alternative to Religions that kill.

This movement, part mystery play, part social network, part spiritual
discipline, centers around worship of a Pooka, variously named Harvey,
the Easter Bunny (and some say "Bugs Bunny", The hare of Aesop's tale,
Bunny Breckenridge, and others) as he is manifest in mundane reality
throughout human history.

One of the central tenets of the faith is "first, do no harm." To
date, nobody has been killed, oppressed, or persecuted by the Mystic
Knights of the Easter Bunny. Of course, this drives the haters wild,
and the Mystic Knights have had to endure persecution themselves.

There are two main branches to the faith; there are the Reformed
Mystic Knights of the Easter Bunny, and there are the Orthodox Mystic
Knights of the Easter Bunny.

The Reformed branch of the religion follow the teachings of Saint
Elwood P. Dowd who believed in a program of passive resistance,
similar to Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. They took their mantra
from the words of their leader, who said "My mother used to say to me,
'Elwood' -- she always called me Elwood -- 'Elwood, in this world you
must be oh-so clever, or oh-so pleasant.' For years I was clever. I'd
recommend pleasant -- and you may quote me."

The Orthodox branch follows the teachings of the Grand Ayatollah
Gleaming Skull, who teaches in staying the course, and remaining
clever. It's difficult to judge which group has been more vigorously
persecuted as a result of their teachings.

We Mystic Knights of the Easter Bunny understand that the great bulk
of humanity does indeed love a religion that sanctions (and vigorously
practices) murder. But for those weird misfits that are looking for
something breathtakingly strange and different, there is an
alternative. Explore both branches of the faith, and select the one
that best suits you.






















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[CanYoAssDigIt] Religions that kill, and a refreshing alternative

There was an interesting piece on 60 Minutes that made it pretty clear
that the publishing of the anti-Muslim cartoons in Denmark was a
pretty ugly act of deliberate provocation against a very small
minority. Only 2% of the population is Muslim, but you'd think they
were overrunning the country from the hysterical Christianist response
in Europe and here.

The people at the newspaper said that they publish satirical cartoons
on any subject - yet just this year they refused to publish a cartoon
mocking the Resurrection of Christ, as they were concerned it would
offend people's sensibilities.

The Muslims of Denmark made every attempt to advance their concerns in
appropriate, legal, and conciliatory ways, to be rebuffed at every
turn by Danish private and governmental institutions.

It seems quite likely the ghoulish Thanatos worshiping X-ians were
quite delighted to have succeeded beyond their wildest imaginations in
provoking the Muslims to violence.

I have been thinking at greater length about the situation, and have
pondered again Tim's statements that "you gotta love religions that
sanction murder." Apparently this is true, compelled by nature or
nurture, people do indeed love murderous religions, and the more
murderous they are, the more they love them.

I gave some pretty good examples of the major religions that
originated in middle eastern tribal religions, or descended from them.
Are any sects of these religions free of murderous intent? I thought
of the Quakers, but Richard Nixon was a Quaker.

How about other religions? We certainly know Buddhists and Hindus can
spill blood with the best of them. African and Indigenous tribal
religions were bloodthirsty, though on a retail level, compared to the
wholesale violence and slaughter that was visited upon them by
Christendom.

In fact, I only know of one religious faith that has never done hard
by the world, and I think that it's high time the world finds about
it. Up until now, I have alluded to my faith now and again, but I
think the world is in such a state that I make a public offering as it
were, and allow the entire human population the opportunity to get a
franchise in the next big thing in spirituality.

I am referring, of course, to the Mystic Knights of the Easter Bunny.
This movement, part mystery play, part social network, part spiritual
discipline, centers around worship of a Pooka, variously named Harvey,
the Easter Bunny (and some say "Bugs Bunny", The hare of Aesop's tale,
Bunny Breckenridge, and others) as he is manifest in mundane reality
throughout human history.

One of the central tenets of the faith is "first, do no harm." To
date, nobody has been killed, oppressed, or persecuted by the Mystic
Knights of the Easter Bunny. Of course, this drives the haters wild,
and the Mystic Knights have had to endure persecution themselves.

There are two main branches to the faith; there are the Reformed
Mystic Knights of the Easter Bunny, and there are the Orthodox Mystic
Knights of the Easter Bunny.

The Reformed branch of the religion follow the teachings of Saint
Elwood P. Dowd who believed in a program of passive resistance,
similar to Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. They took their mantra
from the words of their leader, who said "My mother used to say to me,
'Elwood' -- she always called me Elwood -- 'Elwood, in this world you
must be oh-so clever, or oh-so pleasant.' For years I was clever. I'd
recommend pleasant -- and you may quote me."

The Orthodox branch follows the teachings of the Grand Ayatollah
Gleaming Skull, who teaches in staying the course, and remaining
clever. It's difficult to judge which group has been more vigorously
persecuted as a result of their teachings.

We Mystic Knights of the Easter Bunny understand that the great bulk
of humanity does indeed love a religion that sanctions (and vigorously
practices) murder. But for those weird misfits that are looking for
something breathtakingly strange and different, there is an
alternative. Explore both branches of the faith, and select the one
that best suits you.


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[CanYoAssDigIt] Magazine Article

The cover story of the current People Magazine is "Britney Spears
Speaks Her Mind."

I've attached the text of the article below.


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Friday, February 17, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Oh my gawd, I can't belief George Hamilton lasted longer than Tia Carrere on "Dancing With the Stars"

White House asks for supplemental $72.4 bln for Iraq, Afghanistan wars
17 Feb 2006 The White House asked the Congress on Thursday for 72.4
billion U.S. dollars in additional funding for military operations in
Iraq and Afghanistan [Halliburton] this year. With the new money, the
cost of the U.S. military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan would
rise to 120 billion dollars for this year, and would bring the total
war-related costs to date to nearly 400 billion dollars since the
Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. The Congress already approved in December last
year 50 billion dollars to cover this year's war costs.


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Thursday, February 16, 2006

[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [progressive] Hillary Clinton Immortalized at Wax Museum

She should never stand next to her wax effigy, for obvious reasons.

On 2/16/06, Steven McCabe <blue_meanie_9@yahoo.com > wrote:
Hillary Clinton Immortalized at Wax Museum
Feb 16 1:15 PM US/Eastern
By BETH FOUHY
Associated Press Writer
NEW YORK
    Add Hillary Rodham Clinton to the pantheon of luminaries immortalized in Madame Tussauds' wax museum.
A life-size figure of the former first lady-turned-senator was set to be unveiled Thursday, complete with a campaign-style balloon drop, flags and a full-throated rendering of "Hail to the Chief."
A Clinton figure had been on Tussauds' visitor request list for "a long, long time," museum manager Janine DiGioacchino said. But the looming Presidents Day holiday and the buzz surrounding Clinton's possible 2008 presidential bid sped up her addition to the collection.
The Clinton statue, crafted at the original Tussauds museum in London, will take its place in a wing dedicated to presidents and other public figures known as "the gallery." There, the likeness of the Democratic senator will join statues of Presidents Bush, Reagan, Kennedy, and her husband, Bill Clinton.
The new Clinton display will also feature an interactive kiosk, asking visitors to respond to questions including "Would you ever vote for a female president?" and "Will Hillary Clinton be the first female president?"
The museum in Manhattan's Times Square holds 182 figures, including depictions of hip-hop singer Beyonce, Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong and actress Teri Hatcher. Before the Clinton figure, the most recent addition to the Tussauds collection _ a Rockette _ came in December.
Sen. Clinton, who avoids publicly discussing her potential presidential ambitions, had meetings scheduled in Washington and was not expected to attend the unveiling.
"We invited her," DiGioacchino said.


 << America in Distress  

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[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [Bizarro_UltraZine] Slut Paris Hilton to play a NUN ???

> ANALYZE THIS -- PARIS HILTON IS A SLUT !!!
>
> PLAY MOTHER TERESA?? YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR FUCKIN' MIND!!!!
>

I don't think that anybody ever accused MT of being a slut, but the
"ghoul of Calcutta" is guilty of numerous other, arguably greater
human failings. Anybody convinced of the venerability of MT should
read "The Missionary Position" by Christopher Hitchens, one of his
last great works before he tragically succumbed to alcohol poisoning,
and joined the pro-Bush crowd.

I studied up the book quite a bit, and I've never seen anybody even
attempt to refute his major charges. They say things like "you
shouldn't say bad things about a Saint." It's that kind of thing that
leads to the deification of people like Ronald Reagan, Dubya, Saddam
Hussein, JP II, etc, and I say the hell with it, deal with facts and
let the unsullied claim sainthood.

Here's some comments about the book from Amazon.com. But there's no
substitute for actually reading the book.

Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com
What's next--The Girl Scouts: The Untold Story? How could anybody
write a debunking book about Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of
Charity order? Well, in this little cruise missile of a book, Hitchens
quickly establishes that the idea is not without point. After all,
what is Mother Teresa doing hanging out with a dictator's wife in
Haiti and accepting over a million dollars from Charles Keating? The
most riveting material in the book is contained in two letters: one
from Mother Teresa to Judge Lance Ito--then weighing what sentence to
dole out to the convicted Keating--which cited all the work Keating
has done "to help the poor," and another from a Los Angeles deputy
D.A., Paul Turley, back to Mother Teresa that eloquently stated that
rather than working to reduce Keating's sentence, she should return
the money he gave her to its rightful owners, the defrauded
bond-holders. (Significantly, Mother Teresa never replied.) And why do
former missionary workers and visiting doctors consistently observe
that the order's medical practices seem so inadequate, especially
given all the money that comes in? (Hitchens acidly observes that on
the other hand, Mother Teresa herself always manages to receive
world-class medical care.) Hitchens's answer is that Mother Teresa is
first and foremost interested not in providing medical treatment, but
in furthering Catholic doctrine and--quite literally--becoming a
saint. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Spotlight Reviews
Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers.
Search Customer Reviews

157 of 191 people found the following review helpful:
My review is based on personal experience..., September 15, 2000
Reviewer: Timothy P. Scanlon (Hyattsville, MDUSA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)
I first read a portion of this book in the Washington Post a number of
years ago. As I'd worked closely with Mother Teresa in Calcutta for a
bit over two years, I was amused by it and bought several copies which
I then gave to those I knew who painted halos on her. Now I admit to
some mixed feelings (more on that later) but the book's strength is
still formidable.

While working in an office that provided Mother with much of her food,
a Scottish pharmacologist who'd been volunteering in the Home for
Dying Destitutes visited. She proclaimed that the people she was
taking care of there "don't need to die!" She asserted that most of
the sisters caring for the destitute weren't very bright, and that
there are means of keeping the destitute alive of which the
Missionaries of Charity would not partake. After that, and after
picking up a small child who died in my arms at the mother house not
far from my residence, my eyes were more opened to that saint of
Calcutta.

Incidentally, the child who died was the product of one of the
"natural family planning" sessions the MC sisters held for Muslim
women in Calcutta. That degree of naivete, as if the sisters who lived
among them understood so pathetically little about Islam as to teach
Muslim women of that means of birth control--in one of the most
crowded square miles on planet earth--was enough to make one question
Mother Teresa even if other things, many of which Hitchens points out,
were not.

As for the intellectual level of the sisters, it's important to note
that what I describe is typical in much of the Third World. As an
Indian friend said, most of the sisters, if they had not become nuns,
would have been stuck in their Indian village, in a prearranged
marriage. Their entry into the sisterhood freed them and, in some
cases, allows them to "see the world." I'm not saying that in a
derisive way; were I in their shoes, I may do the same.

And there was one sister whose intelligence and sensitivity did
impress me. She shared with me one day that she was concerned about
children being adopted into families in, say, Denmark, which had
negative population growth at the time. She wondered what would happen
when the fad wore off of the obvious adoptions--brown children among
the more pale Danes--and what social problems might come about as a
consequence. As I'm not familiar with any Scandanavians, I don't know
what may be happening there today.

The situation, though, also has its ironies. I know many a feminist
who is impressed to no end with Mother Teresa, an allegedly strong
woman. As I knew Mother, I guarantee to the feminists that such a
label turns Mother over in her grave. Indeed, while some reviewers
have commented on the MC sisters in the U.S., their commitment to AIDS
patients, etc., I see most of the sisters as sheep, little girls
despite their ages, following their leader, whoever she may be, with a
girl's unquestioning attitude. That's not feminist, despite illusions
to the contrary.

Mind you, I'm not in any way opposed to taking care of the poor. I'm
as far from a Reaganite as one can imagine. But I had--and still
have--close friends who are nuns in other orders in India who do far
more for "human development" than the MCs do. Are they proclaimed
saints? Not in this world they're not. But I don't blame Mother for
that. Rather, I blame the media who are anxious to sell papers by
finding one individual, a sort of Horatio Alger in reverse, who stands
out. Thusly Saint Mother Teresa was born through the likes of Malcolm
Muggeridge whom Hitchens covers mercilessly in his text.

As I have reflected for a number of years on my experience in Calcutta
and the rest of India (MC sisters telling lepers in colonies to be
fruitful and multiply per Catholic teachings, thereby ensuring another
generation of lepers) I've concluded that my biggest objection to the
MC regime is that Mother Teresa unwittingly prevented change.
Politicians, including Reagan, loved her as she said, "write a check
and help the poor, the dying, and help these kids to be adopted." It
never occurred to her that there must be something wrong with a system
which enabled countless people to die miserably. And that extended to
us in the "developed" world. How many people do you know who feel
secure in having their Mother Teresa holy cards, maybe writing a
check, but they'll still act and vote to perpetuate systems in which
so, so many people die destitute.

Oh, the reason I have some mixed feelings toward the MC sisters now is
that I'm still acquainted with some American nuns. Many of them are
close friends, and women for whom I have a great deal of respect and
love. But many too are living more comfortably than I am, e.g., having
their community pay for their homes for which they then pay
substantially less rent than I would pay. At least Mother Teresa and
her sisters DID live and work among the poor.

Anyway, I still recommend the book. It puts much of the media hype,
especially the tourists who'd visited Calcutta for two days, visited
Mother Teresa, then returned to write news stories about how wonderful
she is, into perspective with some of the things Mother REALLY did.

Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)

86 of 100 people found the following review helpful:
Hitchens' book on Mother Theresa deserves a fair hearing, October 9, 2002
Reviewer: David Thomson "Second Rate Eric Hoffer Imitator" (Houston,
TX USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)
Christian theology teaches that everyone is imperfect and tainted by
Original Sin. All human beings are tempted by the sin of pride and
other vices. Why should Mother Theresa be any different? There are
indeed serious questions that were never adequately answered regarding
the large sums of money at her disposal. Were they spent according to
the wishes of the donors, or was much of it siphoned off to other
endeavors that had little to do with assisting the hopelessly
downtrodden? Did these unfortunates truly receive the best medical
care possible? Is there any truth to the allegations that many of
these patients were denied pain killers to supposedly prepare them
spiritually for life everlasting? Why didn't Mother Theresa comprehend
the cold fact that dictators and convicted criminals were giving her
money stolen from other people? Would trained certified public
accountants have found many abuses and squandering of funds? Alas,
often even well meaning people unwittingly waste the resources under
their direct responsibility. A good heart alone is not enough when
managing a large organization.

It is intellectual dishonest to ignore "The Missionary Position."
Christopher Hitchens is an avowed atheist, but this shouldn't be held
against him. The author's rhetoric is admittedly a bit too aggressive
and borders on the abusive. Nonetheless, Hitchens has presented some
strong evidence that tarnishes the hagiographic memory of the often
described Saint of Calcutta. The man deserves a point by point careful
rebuke and not argumentum ad hominem attacks. This relatively short
book earns a place among all the other works on Mother Theresa....

Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)

Customer Reviews
Average Customer Review:
Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers.

1 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
Great, November 22, 2005
Reviewer: Caleb David Powell "C Powell" (Seattle) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
I bought this book in Kathmandu at a used bookstore a few years back,
the cover was worn, and I thought it was an unknown book by an obscure
author. I'm glad to discover it is not. The title hooked me, and I
read it in one sitting. This book is well-written and thought
provoking.

Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)

17 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
My favorite of Chistopher Hitchens' Books, July 5, 2005
Reviewer: Roan Purgatory "KG" (NJ, USA) - See all my reviews
Christopher Hitchens is the only person of note who actually looked
under Mother Teresa's veil of false piety to find a bean-counter of
sad souls for the cost of continued of human suffering. Hers was a
mission interested in converting the weak of body and/or mind, and on
many occasion against their will or understanding, at the cost of
their lives and proper medical treatment, in order to baptize these
unfortunate souls into Catholicism.
When originally published, this book had an attraction for me because
there had been reports of some uncharitable actions by the Mother over
the number of personal parking spaces she had at her mission.
Christopher Hitchens lent credence to that rumor and demonstrated her
sham was no petty vanity. He daringly investigated the charade of her
missions and saintliness to find an intolerant rigorous parochial who
couldn't have cared less about human suffering on earth where there
were dying souls at hand for the taking.
His work was so compelling that he was invested by John-Paul II to be
the witness against (Devil's Advocate) Mother Teresa in the Vatican
when she was advanced for Canonization.

Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)


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[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [Dake-Bonoists] Hey bro, check out the huge sale these guys are offering

I don't want patches, I want enlightenment!  I feel an everloving song coming on:

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They've gone to graveyards, every one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
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Where have all the graveyards gone?
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