[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [Alex Carr] Re: WALIUM C1ALlS V'iagra

Hey guys, thanks so much for letting me now how I can cut down
expeenses on druggs, and all. Each and every one of you posted to the
Alex Carr list, and told us where we can get a great price break on
Viagra and other yummy drugs, and it makes me proud to be an American
to know that there are so many helpful people around.

But if I can be allowed a little constructive criticism, you folks
should learn what "Issachar Wicker" knows;
that the latest way to sell WALLIUM CIALlS VlAGGRA is to embed the ad
copy in text from Chapter XXVII of Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini.
(Don't believe this is the latest and greatest in email marketing?
Google the sentence: "The absurd Baron's fierce eyes positively
gleamed with satisfaction" and you'll see what I'm talking about.)

I ask you, do you think you'll move more perscription drugs with this:
>
> Hello, Do you want to cut down expeenses on druggs?
>
> Visit PhharmacyByMAlL STORE and save up to 7 5 %
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> You will be plleasantly surprised with our prices!
> ________________________________

Or this:

Cartagena

Having crossed the Caribbean in the teeth of contrary winds, it was
not until the early days of April that the French fleet hove in sight
of Cartagena, and M. de Rivarol summoned a council aboard his flagship
to determine the method of assault.

"It is of importance, messieurs," he told them, "that we take the city
by surprise, not only before it can put itself into a state of
defence; but before it can remove its treasures inland. I propose to
land a force sufficient to achieve this to the north of the city
to-night after dark." And he explained in detail the scheme upon which
his wits had laboured.

He was heard respectfully and approvingly by his officers, scornfully
by Captain Blood, and indifferently by the other buccaneer captains
present. For it must be understood that Blood's refusal to attend
councils had related only to those concerned with determining the
nature of the enterprise to he undertaken.

Captain Blood was the only one amongst them who knew exactly what lay
ahead. Two years ago he had himself considered a raid upon the place,
and he had actually made a survey of it in circumstances which he was
presently to disclose.

The Baron's proposal was one to be expected from a commander whose
knowledge of Cartagena was only such as might be derived from maps.

Geographically and strategically considered, it is a curious place. It
stands almost four-square, screened east and north by hills, and it
may be said to face south upon the inner of two harbours by which it
is normally approached. The entrance to the outer harbour, which is in
reality a lagoon some three miles across, lies through a neck known as
the Boca Chica - or Little Mouth - and defended by a fort. A long
strip of densely wooded land to westward acts here as a natural
breakwater, and as the inner harbour is approached, another strip of
land thrusts across at right angles from the first, towards the
mainland on the east. Just short of this it ceases, leaving a deep but
very narrow channel, a veritable gateway, into the secure and
sheltered inner harbour. Another fort defends this second passage.
East and north of Cartagena lies the mainland, which may be left out
of account. But to the west and northwest this city, so well guarded
on every other side, lies directly open to the sea. It stands back
beyond a half-mile of beach, and besides this and the stout Walls
which fortify it, would appear to have no other defences. But those
appearances are deceptive, and they had utterly deceived M. de
Rivarol, when he devised his plan.

It remained for Captain Blood to explain the difficulties when M. de
Rivarol informed him that the honour of opening the assault in the
manner which he prescribed was to be accorded to the buccaneers.

Captain Blood smiled sardonic appreciation of the honour reserved for
his men. It was precisely what he would have expected. For the
buccaneers the dangers; for M. de Rivarol the honour, glory and profit
of the enterprise.

"It is an honour which I must decline," said he quite coldly.

Wolverstone grunted approval and Hagthorpe nodded. Yberville, who as
much as any of them resented the superciliousness of his noble
compatriot, never wavered in loyalty to Captain Blood. The French
officers - there were six of them present - stared their haughty
surprise at the buccaneer leader, whilst the Baron challengingly fired
a question at him.

"How? You decline it, 'sir? You decline to obey orders, do you say?"

"I understood, M. le Baron, that you summoned us to deliberate upon
the means to be adopted."

"Then you understood amiss, M. le Capitaine. You are here to receive
my commands. I have already deliberated, and I have decided. I hope
you understand."

"Oh, I understand," laughed Blood. "But, I ask myself, do you?" And
without giving the Baron time to set the angry question that was
bubbling to his lips, he swept on: "You have deliberated, you say, and
you have decided. But unless your decision rests upon a wish to
destroy my buccaneers, you will alter it when I tell you something of
which I have knowledge. This city of Cartagena looks very vulnerable
on the northern side, all open to the sea as it apparently stands. Ask
yourself, M. le Baron, how came the Spaniards who built it where it is
to have been at such trouble to fortify it to the south, if from the
north it is so easily assailable."

That gave M. de Rivarol pause.

"The Spaniards," Blood pursued, "are not quite the fools you are
supposing them. let me tell you, messieurs, that two years ago I made
a survey of Cartagena as a preliminary to raiding it. I came hither
with some friendly trading Indians, myself disguised as an Indian, and
in that guise I spent a week in the city and studied carefully all its
approaches. On the side of the sea where it looks so temptingly open
to assault, there is shoal water for over half a mile out - far enough
out, I assure you, to ensure that no ship shall come within bombarding
range of it. It is not safe to venture nearer land than three quarters
of a mile."

"But our landing will be effected in canoes and piraguas and open
boats," cried an officer impatiently.

"In the calmest season of the year, the surf will hinder any such
operation. And you will also bear in mind that if landing were
possible as you are suggesting, that landing could not be covered by
the ships' guns. In fact, it is the landing parties would be in danger
from their own artillery."

"If the attack is made by night, as I propose, covering will be
unnecessary. You should be ashore in force before the Spaniards are
aware of the intent."

"You are assuming that Cartagena is a city of the blind, that at this
very moment they are not conning our sails and asking themselves who
we are and what we intend."

"But if they feel themselves secure from the north, as you suggest,"
cried the Baron impatiently, "that very security will lull them."

"Perhaps. But, then, they are secure. Any attempt to land on this side
is doomed to failure at the hands of Nature."

"Nevertheless, we make the attempt," said the obstinate Baron, whose
haughtiness would not allow him to yield before his officers.

"If you still choose to do so after what I have said, you are, of
course, the person to decide. But I do not lead my men into fruitless
danger."

"If I command you ..." the Baron was beginning. But Blood
unceremoniously interrupted him.

"M. le Baron, when M. de Cussy engaged us on your behalf, it was as
much on account of our knowledge and experience of this class of
warfare as on account of our strength. I have placed my own knowledge
and experience in this particular matter at your disposal. I will add
that I abandoned my own project of raiding Cartagena, not being in
sufficient strength at the time to force the entrance of the harbour,
which is the only way into the city. The strength which you now
command is ample for that purpose."

"But whilst we are doing that, the Spaniards will have time to remove
great part of the wealth this city holds. We must take them by
surprise."

Captain Blood shrugged. "If this is a mere pirating raid, that, of
course, is a prime consideration. It was with me. But if you are
concerned to abate the pride of Spain and plant the Lilies of France
on the forts of this settlement, the loss of some treasure should not
really weigh for much."

M. de Rivarol bit his lip in chagrin. His gloomy eye smouldered as it
considered the self-contained buccaneer.

"But if I command you to go - to make the attempt?" he asked. "Answer
me, monsieur, let us know once for all where we stand, and who
commands this expedition."

"Positively, I find you tiresome," said Captain Blood, and he swung to
M. de Cussy, who sat there gnawing his lip, intensely uncomfortable.
"I appeal to you, monsieur, to justify me to the General."

M. de Cussy started out of his gloomy abstraction. He cleared his
throat. He was extremely nervous.

"In view of what Captain Blood has submitted ..."

"Oh, to the devil with that!" snapped Rivarol. "It seems that I am
followed by poltroons. Look you, M. le Capitaine, since you are afraid
to undertake this thing, I will myself undertake it. The weather is
calm, and I count upon making good my landing. If I do so, I shall
have proved you wrong, and I shall have a word to say to you to-morrow
which you may not like. I am being very generous with you, sir. He
waved his hand regally. "You have leave to go."

It was sheer obstinacy and empty pride that drove him, and he received
the lesson he deserved. The fleet stood in during the afternoon to
within a mile of the coast, and under cover of darkness three hundred
men, of whom two hundred were negroes - the whole of the negro
contingent having been pressed into the undertaking - were pulled away
for the shore in the canoes, piraguas, and ships' boats. Rivarol's
pride compelled him, however much he may have disliked the venture, to
lead them in person.

The first six boats were caught in the surf, and pounded into
fragments before their occupants could extricate themselves. The
thunder of the breakers and the cries of the shipwrecked warned those
who followed, and thereby saved them from sharing the same fate. By
the Baron's urgent orders they pulled away again out of danger, and
stood about to pick up such survivors as contrived to battle towards
them. Close upon fifty lives were lost in the adventure, together with
half-a-dozen boats stored with ammunition and light guns.

The Baron went back to his flagship an infuriated, but by no means a
wiser man. Wisdom - not even the pungent wisdom experience thrusts
upon us - is not for such as M. de Rivarol. His anger embraced all
things, but focussed chiefly upon Captain Blood. In some warped
process of reasoning he held the buccaneer chiefly responsible for
this misadventure. He went to bed considering furiously what he should
say to Captain Blood upon the morrow.

He was awakened at dawn by the rolling thunder of guns. Emerging upon
the poop in nightcap and slippers, he beheld a sight that increased
his unreasonable and unreasoning fury. The four buccaneer ships under
canvas were going through extraordinary manoeuvre half a mile off the
Boca Chica and little more than half a mile away from the remainder of
the fleet, and from their flanks flame and smoke were belching each
time they swung broadside to the great round fort that guarded that
narrow entrance. The fort was returning the fire vigorously and
viciously. But the buccaneers timed their broadsides with
extraordinary judgment to catch the defending ordnance reloading; then
as they drew the Spaniards' fire, they swung away again not only
taking care to be ever moving targets, but, further, to present no
more than bow or stern to the fort, their masts in line, when the
heaviest cannonades were to be expected.

Gibbering and cursing, M. de Rivarol stood there and watched this
action, so presumptuously undertaken by Blood on his own
responsibility. The officers of the Victorieuse crowded round him, but
it was not until M. de Cussy came to join the group that he opened the
sluices of his rage. And M. de Cussy himself invited the deluge that
now caught him. He had come up rubbing his hands and taking a proper
satisfaction in the energy of the men whom he had enlisted.

"Aha, M. de Rivarol!" he laughed. "He understands his business, eh,
this Captain Blood. He'll plant the Lilies of France on that fort
before breakfast."

The Baron swung upon him snarling. "He understands his business, eh?
His business, let me tell you, M. de Cussy, is to obey my orders, and
I have not ordered this. Par la Mordieu! When this is over I'll deal
with him for his damned insubordination."

"Surely, M. le Baron, he will have justified it if he succeeds."

"Justified it! Ah, parbleu! Can a soldier ever justify acting without
orders?" He raved on furiously, his officers supporting him out of
their detestation of Captain Blood.

Meanwhile the fight went merrily on. The fort was suffering badly. Yet
for all their manoeuvring the buccaneers were not escaping punishment.
The starboard gunwale of the Atropos had been hammered into splinters,
and a shot had caught her astern in the coach. The Elizabeth was badly
battered about the forecastle, and the Arabella's maintop had been
shot away, whilst' towards the end of that engagement the Lachesis
came reeling out of the fight with a shattered rudder, steering
herself by sweeps.

The absurd Baron's fierce eyes positively gleamed with satisfaction.

"I pray Heaven they may sink all his infernal ships!" he cried in his frenzy.

But Heaven didn't hear him. Scarcely had he spoken than there was a
terrific explosion, and half the fort went up in fragments. A lucky
shot from the buccaneers had found the powder magazine.

It may have been a couple of hours later, when Captain Blood, as
spruce and cool as if he had just come from a levee, stepped upon the
quarter-deck of the Victoriense, to confront M. de Rivarol, still in
bedgown and nightcap.

"I have to report, M. le Baron, that we are in possession of the fort
on Boca Chica. The standard of France is flying from what remains of
its tower, and the way into the outer harbour is open to your fleet."

M. de Rivarol was compelled to swallow his fury, though it choked him.
The jubilation among his officers had been such that he could not
continue as he had begun. Yet his eyes were malevolent, his face pale
with anger.

"You are fortunate, M. Blood, that you succeeded," he said. "It would
have gone very ill with you had you failed. Another time be so good as
to await my orders, lest you should afterwards lack the justification
which your good fortune has procured you this morning."

Blood smiled with a flash of white teeth, and bowed. "I shall be glad
of your orders now, General, for pursuing our advantage. You realize
that speed in striking is the first essential."

Rivarol was left gaping a moment. Absorbed in his ridiculous anger, he
had considered nothing. But he made a quick recovery. "To my cabin, if
you please," he commanded peremptorily, and was turning to lead the
way, when Blood arrested him.

"With submission, my General, we shall be better here. You behold
there the scene of our coming action. It is spread before you like a
map." He waved his hand towards the lagoon, the country flanking it
and the considerable city standing back from the beach. "If it is not
a presumption in me to offer a suggestion ..." He paused. M. de
Rivarol looked at him sharply, suspecting irony. But the swarthy face
was bland, the keen eyes steady.

"Let us hear your suggestion," he consented.

Blood pointed out the fort at the mouth of the inner harbour, which
was just barely visible above the waving palms on the intervening
tongue of land. He announced that its armament was less formidable
than that of the outer fort, which they had reduced; but on the other
hand, the passage was very much narrower than the Boca Chica, and
before they could attempt to make it in any case, they must dispose of
those defences. He proposed that the French ships should enter the
outer harbour, and proceed at once to bombardment. Meanwhile, he would
land three hundred buccaneers and some artillery on the eastern side
of the lagoon, beyond the fragrant garden islands dense with richly
bearing fruit-trees, and proceed simultaneously to storm the fort in
the rear. Thus beset on both sides at once, and demoralized by the
fate of the much stronger outer fort, he did not think the Spaniards
would offer a very long resistance. Then it would be for M. de Rivarol
to garrison the fort, whilst Captain Blood would sweep on with his
men, and seize the Church of Nuestra Senora de la Poupa, plainly
visible on its hill immediately eastward of the town. Not only did
that eminence afford them a valuable and obvious strategic advantage,
but it commanded the only road that led from Cartagena to the
interior, and once it were held there would be no further question of
the Spaniards attempting to remove the wealth of the city.

That to M. de Rivarol was - as Captain Blood had judged that it would
be - the crowning argument. Supercilious until that moment, and
disposed for his own pride's sake to treat the buccaneer's suggestions
with cavalier criticism, M. de Rivarol's manner suddenly changed. He
became alert and brisk, went so far as tolerantly to commend Captain
Blood's plan, and issued orders that action might be taken upon it at
once.

It is not necessary to follow that action step by step. Blunders on
the part of the French marred its smooth execution, and the
indifferent handling of their ships led to the sinking of two of them
in the course of the afternoon by the fort's gunfire. But by evening,
owing largely to the irresistible fury with which the buccaneers
stormed the place from the landward side, the fort had surrendered,
and before dusk Blood and his men with some ordnance hauled thither by
mules dominated the city from the heights of Nuestra Senora de la
Poupa.

At noon on the morrow, shorn of defences and threatened with
bombardment, Cartagena sent offers of surrender to M. de Rivarol.

Swollen with pride by a victory for which he took the entire credit to
himself, the Baron dictated his terms. He demanded that all public
effects and office accounts be delivered up; that the merchants
surrender all moneys and goods held by them for their correspondents;
the inhabitants could choose whether they would remain in the city or
depart; but those who went must first deliver up all their property,
and those who elected to remain must surrender half, and become the
subjects of France; religious houses and churches should be spared,
but they must render accounts of all moneys and valuables in their
possession.

Cartagena agreed, having no choice in the matter, and on the next day,
which was the 5th of April, M. de Rivarol entered the city and
proclaimed it now a French colony, appointing M. de Cussy its
Governor. Thereafter he proceeded to the Cathedral, where very
properly a Te Deum was sung in honour of the conquest. This by way of
grace, whereafter M. de Rivarol proceeded to devour the city. The only
detail in which the French conquest of Cartagena differed from an
ordinary buccaneering raid was that under the severest penalties no
soldier was to enter the house of any inhabitant. But this apparent
respect for the persons and property of the conquered was based in
reality upon M. de Rivarol's anxiety lest a doubloon should be
abstracted from all the wealth that was pouring into the treasury
opened by the Baron in the name of the King of France. Once the golden
stream had ceased, he removed all restrictions and left the city in
prey to his men, who proceeded further to pillage it of that part of
their property which the inhabitants who became French subjects had
been assured should remain inviolate. The plunder was enormous. In the
course of four days over a hundred mules laden with gold went out of
the city and down to the boats waiting at the beach to convey the
treasure aboard the ships.

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