I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Monday, April 25, 2005

[CanYoAssDigIt] By Popular Demand...


My ex-wife, Kali the Destroyer, and her sisters were always calling
people dicks. He's a dick, you're a dick, dick this, dick that,
everywhere a dick dick, it got on my nerves something fierce. My penis
took it personally. One time we were with the whole famn damily going
some where on a long trip. I got dicked off one too many times.

"Cunt," I said to Kali. "I think the word you are looking for is 'cunt.'"

She burst into tears, and things got very quiet and tense, I can tell you.

I felt aggrieved; she was dishing it out, but she couldn't take it. It
never occurred to her that she was saying something that was a little
offensive to Little Elvises everywhere?

I guess that cunt is at least a magnitude stronger than dick, maybe
several. But it was one cunt in response to 50,000 dicks, you know?
After enduring the death of a thousand cuts, I cut off somebody's big
toe. Metaphorically, of course.

I look back on that with some pride, because I learned to not say
anything, just to suffer in silence, and I got really fucked up. I
look at my younger self with some pride - I may have been intemperate,
but I was bold.

I like how British men use the word cunt - liberally, with extreme
venom, on each other. It's a very satisfying word, actually, and
after hearing dick and prick until I am sick, hearing cunt is what I
want.


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