I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

[CanYoAssDigIt] more country crap

I wish you could hear this so that you could share my joy.

This is like that sucky Mayberry song.... nostagia for an imaginary
place, how sick is that? I'm going to add "Mayberry" so you can enjoy
it too.

In Craig Morgan's ideal world, those sadistic rustic bastards actually
LIKE singing off key, and you ought to hear the lewd snear he puts
into "baby, cut that coupon out!" The highlight of Craig's whole week.

But he's a weak mofo, he missed the opportunity to slip in a little
product placement (like the wily Rascal Flatts and their ice cold
cherry coke - how much did they get paid for that? Morgan could have
made Raymond ( his version of Goober the Grease Monkey) a Jiffylube
employee, pocketed a little on the deal. Better luck next time, jerk!

Artist: Craig Morgan
Song : That's What I Love About Sunday

Lyrics:

Raymond's in his Sunday best,
He's usually up to his chest in oil an' grease.
There's the Martin's walkin' in,
With that mean little freckle-faced kid,
Who broke a window last week.
Sweet Miss Betty likes to sing off key in the pew behind me.

That's what I love about Sunday:
Sing along as the choir sways;
Every verse of Amazin' Grace,
An' then we shake the Preacher's hand.
Go home, into your blue jeans;
Have some chicken an' some baked beans.
Pick a back yard football team,
Nothin' much of anything:
That's what I love about Sunday.

I stroll to the end of the drive,
Pick up the Sunday Times, grab my coffee cup.
It looks like Sally an' Ron, finally tied the knot,
Well, it's about time.
It's 35 cents off a ground round,
Baby. cut that coupon out!

That's what I love about Sunday:
Cat-napping on the porch swing;
You curled up next to me,
The smell of jasmine wakes us up.
Take a walk down a back road,
Tackle box and a cane pole;
Carve our names in that white oak,
An' steal a kiss as the sun fades,
That's what I love about Sunday,
Oh, yeah.

Ooh, new believers gettin' baptized,
Momma's hands raised up high,
Havin' a Hallelujah good time
A smile on everybody's face.
That's what I love about Sunday,
Oh, yeah.

That's what I love about Sunday,
Oh, yeah.

****

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS

"Mayberry"

Sometimes it feels like this world is spinning faster
Than it did in the old days
So naturally we have more natural disasters
From the strain of a fast pace

Sunday was the day of rest
Now its one more day for progress
And we can't slow down
Cause more is best
It's all an endless process

Well I miss Mayberry
Sittin on the porch drinking ice cold Cherry --- Coke
Where everything is black & white
Pickin on a Six String
Where people pass by and you call them by their first name
Watching the clouds roll by
bye bye

Sometimes I can hear this old earth shouting
Through the trees as the wind blows
Thats when I climb up here on this mountain
To look through God's window

Now I can't fly
But I've got two feet
To get me high up here
Above the noise and city streets
My worries disappear

Well I miss Mayberry
Sittin on the porch drinking ice cold Cherry --- Coke
Where everything is black & white
Pickin on a Six String
Where people pass by and you call them by their first name
Watching the clouds roll by
bye bye

Sometimes I dream I'm driving down an old dirt road
Not even listed on the map
I pass a dad and his son carrying a fishing pole
But I always wake up everytime I try to turn back

Well I miss Mayberry
Sittin on the porch drinking ice cold Cherry Coke
Where everything is black & white
Pickin on a Six String
Where people pass by and you call them by their first name
Watching the clouds roll by
bye bye

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