I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Friday, January 18, 2008

[CanYoAssDigIt] One thing about long plane flights...

You get to see a lot of movies. On the flight to Brazil and back, I saw:

1. The Simpsons movie
2. Stardust
3. The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising

I didn't crack a smile once during the Simpsons movie. The franchise is a spent force, a useless husk.  It was mean-spirited and pointless and stupid. A read Dubya of a movie.

Stardust was slightly less crap.  It's the sort of cynical junk they churn out of Hollywood these days like sausage. Like the Princess Bride, which I didn't like either, it thinks it's way more clever than it is, nudging the viewer, and mugging for the camera. I felt insulted an mugged as a viewer. It was only at the end of the movie that I realized what it was - a bone tossed to Neil Geiman to protect the Harry Potter franchise.

Among the many sources Rawlings (does she even exist, or did they hire an actress to play her, too?) pilfered to create Harry Potter, was a project of Geiman's.  He hinted darkly he would sue.  Next thing you know, he has a deal in hand for movie development of some of his properties from the same outfit that filmed Potter, and he doesn't see any similarities at all any more. 

This confusing, condescending almost worthless movie was outcome.  Everybody sleepwalked through it.  Robert DeNiro appeared in women's underwear. Hardy har har.

There will most likely be more, heaven help us.

The Seeker, on the other hand, was a wonderful movie, it didn't condescend, it was moving and effective. I'd never heard of it before, or the book that provided the source material, so I checked it out on the IMDB, and once again I am struck by what a bunch of slope brow tasteless asswipes most of the people that spend their time on the IMDB are.  check out these user ratings:

Seeker:  User Rating: 4.6/10
Simpsons movie:
User Rating: 7.8/10
Stardust:
User Rating: 8.1/10

Most of them wouldn't know a good movie if it came up and punched them in the face, which is something most of them need and deserve.

Check out this nosepicker's comments:

I just threw up in my mouth a bit, 16 October 2007
1/10

Author: mflynn-4 from United Kingdom

Rarely have I been so disappointed, I actually walked out of this film half way through, not caring how they end this debacle. With such a rich text to draw from, this movie could have been awesome, the plot is pathetic, the characterisation all wrong, the dialogue clichéd drivel, what were they thinking.

Why they had to change the setting away from Celtic countries & Saxon mythology I have no idea. The whole heart & soul is missing from the story.

Everyone involved in the production of this film should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves, they've chipped away at a cherished bit of thousands of peoples childhood memories by squeezing out this arse-gravy onto celluloid.

*****

He walked out on it, his loss.  Probably watched the Simpsons movie all the way through, spewing Pepsi out of his nose at the too-funny antics of the Springfield gang.

__._,_.___
Connect w/Parents

on Yahoo! Groups

Get support and

share information.

Wellness Spot

Embrace Change

Break the Yo-Yo

weight loss cycle.

Featured Y! Groups

and category pages.

There is something

for everyone.

.

__,_._,___

No comments: