I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] This Is How It's Done

 

I have sent the following letter to dozens, perhaps hundreds of radio stations now, including the Vatican's station. Time grows short if I'm to have a chance of being the next Pope, so I have to hurry, putting on the last minute campaign push.

When I'm elected Pope, I promise a big gas guzzling Ford in every garage, a chicken in every pot (except for Fridays, when it will be sushi) and 72 virgins waiting for you in paradise when you leave this vale of tears. I borrowed that last one from another religion, but a good idea is a good idea.


Dear Music and/or Program Director:

As you probably know, as both a solo artist, and a member of such ground-breaking rock ensembles such as Wimps, Dweebish, The Waiters, and Julia's Seizure. I've been delivering crunchy, nutty pop music goodness with every earful for nearly 3 decades. Is it any wonder that my loyal fans have proclaimed me "The Pope Of Pop?"  I think not.

My attention has been drawn to the fact that the Catholic Church is currently lacking a Pope by the vast number of people who have begged me to run for the position. After much contemplation and reflection, I have decided to through my mitre into the ring. I know it will be an uphill battle; while I enjoy great name recognition among fans of quality pop music, I am less well known in the loaves and fishes set; I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Catholic Party.

However, I have written a terrific campaign song that lays out my platform, and I have commissioned some of today's top hip, now, and happening musical talents to compose musical settings. As humbly as I can (being as great as I am) I request you consider reviewing the different versions, and further consider downloading the version(s) that best fit your format, for the purpose of broadcasting.

Green Plastic version:
https://soundcloud.com/wacky-moose/im-the-pope-green-plastic

Custom Drum Loops version:
https://soundcloud.com/wacky-moose/im-the-pope-customdrumloops

Tim Song version:
https://soundcloud.com/wacky-moose/im-the-pope-timsong-version

Possum Jenkins and the Cocaine Flames version:
https://soundcloud.com/wacky-moose/im-the-pope-possum-jenkins-and

The Bacardy Boys version:
https://soundcloud.com/wacky-moose/im-the-pope-bacardy-boys

Most Sincerely Yours,

Matt Love
CEO of Egregious Records
Bartender, O'Blerg's Pub
Future Pope, Catholic Church


--
I want to play in your town for you and 2 of your friends. 
http://eventful.com/performers/matt-love-/P0-001-000156481-4/demands

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