I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Friday, December 07, 2012

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Re: Boss Boss

 

Hello, Able Slave!


It is wonderful to hear from you again, I appreciate your concern over my diet.  Last night I had some chicken nuggets and taquitos microwaved in the oven. It was an enjoyable meal.  This morning I had fried potatoes and sausages, with some jalapenos and cheese. It was also was enjoyable.

I'm sorry I didn't write back sooner; I slipped on the steps to my studio, and fell down the last three. I wasn't wearing shoes, and my little toe caught on the door frame. I can't say whether it's broken, but it still hurts, and it's swelled up to 3 times its normal size.

However, I hobbled around, looking for more money to send you. I found a couple of coins in the car under the seats, and in the lint trap in the clothes drier.  However, the money I've collected so far still only totals up to $24.61.  

I have experience using Western Union - I made some investments in some financial deals in Nigeria, which I'm sorry to report have not yet resulted in the generous payoffs my business partners have promised. At any rate, from experience I know that Western Union will want between $10 - $15 for handing this transaction, leaving only half of my meager savings to forward to you.

What is the rugby song about Dinah that my dear old nursemaid (a partisan of the venerable Leicester Tigers) used to sing me to sleep with when I was a wee nipper?  It went something like this:

The rich girl uses a sanitary towel,
The poor girl uses a sheet.
But Dinah uses nothing at all,
Leaves a trail along the street.

But of course don't want this to happen to you, dear Yinka!

I shall meet with my band mates tomorrow for rehearsal, and I shall exhort them to redouble their efforts, and prepare for a fundraiser sooner.

Do you recall that I was asking about Nigerian beer, and you told me that Guinness is popular?  I looked for more information on the Internet, and learned that Guinness is different in Nigeria: "Nigeria produces a version of Guinness Foreign Extra Stout that uses sorghum. A ban on imports of barley malt imposed in 1990 forced brewers to find ways to produce beer with locally available sorghum and maize. The Nigerian version is distinct from other Guinness FES's found around the world."

It sounds interesting, and I would like to try it some time. But I want to ask is about these other beers: "Nigerian Breweries brews under license Star, Gulder, Heineken, Tiger Bock, Kronenbourg and several local beer brands, both ale and stout types. Mopa Breweries, Ltd. produces the popular One Lager."

Can you recommend any of them?  I want to try to write a jingle for one of them, but having never tried any of them, I rely on your local knowledge to tell me which are the most worthy, I don't want to write a good jingle for a bad beer!

Hugs and Kisses, 
Matt

On Fri, Dec 7, 2012 at 12:57 AM, Able Slave <able.slave@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hello Able Master!!!
 
How are you doing Sir? I was expecting your email last day but i didnt see it till i went to sleep Master. How are you doing there Master and how has it been Boss? I hope all is well with you there Master and you are eating good food as well.
 
Master Matt you need to be eating balance diet because of your age, you really need nutritious food to feed on Master Matt.
 
I hope when im home to you i will be able to take good care of you Master Matt. Master i will really appreciate it if you can help me with 30USD. I will use that to get anything that it can bought. I really need it and if i didnt ned it i wont ask you for it Master. Master when will you help me to send it so i can get my college Accountatnt details for you to help me send through Western Union Sir.
 
I will be waiting to read back from you Master, My period has already start and i will be glad to have the toiletries soonest Master.
 
Master Matt are you a fashionable Man that really loves fashion Master.. I wish to be with you and start serving you Boss.
 
Kisses and hugss



--
I want to play in your town for you and 2 of your friends. 
http://eventful.com/performers/matt-love-/P0-001-000156481-4/demands

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