[CanYoAssDigIt]Fwd: Penthouse Forum™ Letter

From: Ignatius P. Valiant <ignatiuspvaliant@gmail.com>
Date: Mar 15, 2006 6:46 PM
Subject: Penthouse Forum™ Letter
To: CanYoAssDigIt@yahoogroups.com

Dear Editor

I never thought I'd be writing to Penthouse Forum™, but then, I never
thought I would have an experience like I had last weekend. I just had
to share it with you.

It all started on Saturday afternoon when I took the dogs out for a
walk.I decided to walk them on a trail popular with yuppie fitness
aficionados. The babe factor is always pretty high there, I've been
told. It was unusually warm for this time of the year, so I dressed in
shorts and tank top to best display my considerable physical charms.

I couldn't believe my luck when I espied a couple of self-propelled
honeys riding their bicycles up the trail towards me. They were
blonde, appeared to be in their mid-twenties, and they were so good
looking they could have been Penthouse Pets™!

As they approached, I could see the taut nipples on their ample jugs
straining against the sheer fabric of their halters. I experienced
tumescence in my Bermudas.

Having read Penthouse Forum™ for years, I knew exactly what to do in
this situation. I licked my lips and smiled seductively, putting on
my best bedroom eyes.

"Hi" they said pleasantly as they rode past me.

I couldn't believe it! Nothing I ever read in Penthouse Forum™
prepared me for this. I guess I may have lost my composure a little
bit. I remember shrieking "BITCHES" and "HOS" after them, and chucking
a couple of rocks in their general direction.

Imagine the surprise I experienced when I emerged from the trail and
saw a couple of police officers standing near my vintage Ford Pinto.

In the ensuing mêlée, a couple of officers got dog bitten, and I
remember the pasty face of one of the cops may have struck my fist.

When my parents came down to the police station and were told what
happened, they took the dogs home, but left me here.

So I am writing from my cell to ask you if you could possibly send
bail to get me out of here. I've always relied on Penthouse Forum™ in
the past, I'm sure you won't let me down now!

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