It's All About Me, Man

I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Monday, March 28, 2011

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Fwd: Vote for Jason Aldean for Entertainer of the Year!

 

Dear Sir or Ms,

I'm not sure if I'm writing to the correct place, but I got an email from Eventful saying I should vote for Jason Aldean for Entertainer of the Year. No offence to Jason Aldean or anything, I'm sure he's a hail and hearty fellow, with soft creamy skin, his upper lip covered with a fine, downy hair and all that, but anybody in their right mind knows I am the entertainer of the year - yet, I'm not even in the running on your esteemed show. How can that be?  I know you guys totally have your finger on the pulse... you surely must know that I totally rocked the stage when I was the engine that drove the Human Skab's comeback. Just weeks after the return to Skabcountry(tm), I brought Brazilian indie country  to a grateful public as impresario and band member on Lulina's northwest tour.  I organized the 2nd Indie Country Artists for Haiti concert in Washington State for cryin' out loud!  My bands, The Country Waiters, Western Antitrust, Remote Possibility of Madison County, The Frost Heaves, Baby Face and The Heels continue to achieve one thing or another, and nobody has approached this record since Tony Burrows!  Is it too late to get this situation fixed? 

Cordially,
 

Matt Love
The Pope of Pop

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Eventful <events@eventful.com>
Date: Mon, Mar 28, 2011 at 7:15 PM
Subject: Vote for Jason Aldean for Entertainer of the Year!
To: Matt Love <mattlove1@gmail.com>


  Is Gmail blocking the images in this email? Click the "Always display images..." link above.  
March 28, 2011
Make Jason Aldean Entertainer of Year at this year's ACM Awards! 		eventful
Jason Aldean
Attention Country Music Fans!

Jason Aldean
has been nominated for Entertainer of the Year at this year's
Academy of Country Music Awards and YOU get to vote for him to win!

Vote Now!

Tune in to CBS April 3rd at 8/7c.

Don't Miss Jason Aldean on his 2011 My Kinda Party Tour
coming to a city near you!
Jason Aldean
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--
I want to play in your town for you and 2 of your friends. 
http://eventful.com/performers/matt-love-/P0-001-000156481-4/demands

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Posted by at 5 comments:

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Fwd: I am prepared to jam some of that heavy stuff, or failing that, eat candy corn.

 

Hey Phil,

I am pretty much broken hearted that your band didn't accept me for membership, but I am trying to take this lemon and turn it into lemonade. I'm exploring my options (see below).

Have you googled crumhorns, shawms, and sackbuts yet? Get with the countdown, I am convinced they (like me) are the future of rock and roll.

I didn't know Gregor Gayden, but he cut a pretty wide swath in the Northwest music scene. I actually lived in Olympia for almost all my time in the Northwest Music scene. We were sort of the farm team for Seattle - a lot of people came up from there, through Seattle and onto the bigtime... famous punk rockers like Kurt Cobain, SubPop founder Bruce Pavitt, the pounding relentless Fleetwoods (Come Softly To Me). I never made the transition, though somebody (Rolling Stone?  Mojo?  Uncut?) recently proclaimed the Metropolis the birthplace of grunge.  I did get that far, once, and I have the poster to prove it (http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=1306395694065&set=o.44747511518&theater).  Well, facebook has the poster.  Looking forward to meeting your sister, we probably have a Bacon number of 4 or less.



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: matt love <mattlove1@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Mar 28, 2011 at 8:13 PM
Subject: I am prepared to jam some of that heavy stuff, or failing that, eat candy corn.
To: comm-gkrxf-2290105227@craigslist.org


I think you will agree when you hear my former band, The Frost Heaves (http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=809122), that I can unleash the fury as well as any man alive.  I have relocated from Edmonton to your fair city, where I am preparing to rape virgin ears with my large throbbing sounds.

I am weird AND crazy, but mostly harmless. My craziness manifests itself primarily as paranoia, so I may spend an inordinate amount of time worrying that you will kill me. Is it odd happenstance or something more, that every last member of The Frost Heaves (except me, so far) died in bizarre gardening accidents?  I take this very seriously, I don't even go into the back yard. Fortunately, this just gives me more time to practice, and plan my upcoming world domination. 

Together, you and I will rule as father and son. Join me, Luke. Come over to the dark side.

Looking for people to jam some of that heavy stuff with (SKETCHILANTI)

Date: 2011-03-27, 7:10PM EDT
Reply to: comm-gkrxf-2290105227@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

guitars are cool. i like guitars. i like cool people that like guitars and/or other instruments of mass destruction. i would really like to meet some new people who generally like the same shit i do.
metallica, rush, STP, red hot chili peppers, trivium, chiodos(after craig),Alice in chains, Queen, queens of the stone age, A7X, Pantera, Steel Panther...and stuff.
Im 20 ive been playing for 8 years i play a little of everything. except dropped c death core bullshit.
quick equip list. Epiphone les paul standard plus, dean ml noir, peavey classic 50 410 (all tube combo) digitech gnx3 effects processor, boss drum machine, tascam dp02 8 tracker.
hmmmm. i thought i had more... curse you rent checks.
i live in a house, so cranking it up is obvious.
im not weird or crazy. so you shouldnt be either. if you have ever pictured justin biebr naked, id rather you not email me.
i dont care about skill i just like guitars. im college age and have no money. so please dont murder/rob me. ive been seeing alot of that on the cnn lately.
and if your a blonde female with large boobs. thats pretty sweet.
PLease i just want to jam with people again maybe if we have alot of shit in common we can one day start a band who knows.
email me and stuff.
make the email title say: candy corn
i fucking hate candy corn so ill be sure to read it.



  • Location: SKETCHILANTI
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


--
I want to play in your town for you and 2 of your friends. 
http://eventful.com/performers/matt-love-/P0-001-000156481-4/demands

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