I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

[CanYoAssDigIt] A good one

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty and I
thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life – so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
-Matt Cartmill,
anthropology professor and author (1943- )

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Friday, November 04, 2005

[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: [Bizarro_UltraZine] FOR MATT -- Protests Await Bush at Summit in Argentina

On 11/4/05, kdhaisch@aol.com <kdhaisch@aol.com> wrote:
>
>
> Battle Looms Over Free Trade at Latin American Meeting
>
> MAR DEL PLATA, Argentina (Nov. 4) - Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez,
>
> [ DIDN'T WE WANT TO ASSASSINATE HIM?? ]
>

No, WE really don't want to do that. WE are in favor of democracy,
and supporting governments that serve their people, not pirates and
thugs that steal elections, illegally invade other countries, and loot
countries (both home and abroad).

Pirates and thugs who do the above sort of thing approve of
assassinating elected foreign heads of state that act in the interests
of their own people, rather than in the interest of multinationals.
Twisted freaks who think that they can command God to destroy states
with hurricanes want to assassinate Hugo Chavez.

Dumbshits stupid enough to take Caligula and Robertson seriously may
cheer on attempts to destroy democracy and economic development in
other countries through military intervention and political
assassinations.

As people who believe in democracy, the rule of law, fair play, etc
etc, WE most assuredly don't want to assassinate Hugo Chavez.

BTW, any political leader interested in serving (rather than ruling)
their people have no choice but to resist "free trade" with the united
states. Clinton and the Bushes shove these "agreements" down people's
throats like the school bully offering to freely trade your a dead
slug for your lunch.. I just heard a story on the news where a NAFTA
arbitration panel ruled for the third time against US tariffs imposed
on Canadian softwoods coming across the border. How is Caligula's
regime responding? Ignoring the ruling, of course, because they are
supposed to get a dead slug, and Caligula and the interests that
support him are supposed to get a free lunch (like the one he's been
getting his entire life). Free trade is not the intent with these
agreements at all. A few people in this country understand this.
Almost everybody everywhere else understands it.

This kind of jamming a thumb into the eye of even your closest trading
partners is stupid and short-sighted. Anybody, foreign or domestic,
that is able to resist policies of assassination and economic bullying
should do so.


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Monday, October 31, 2005

[CanYoAssDigIt] Klaus, you've been holding out on the best jokes...

One of my wife's over-educated friends sent the attached list,
prefaced by this message: "And this is as nice as I could imagine
being about the fucking fool."

He's probably another one of those deluded fools who thinks he could
have handled the Katrina situation better than Dubya. Just because
he's an MD.

But seriously, just before the chuckles - are these for real? The
Leno and Letterman jokes are similar, and are neck-and-neck in the
"most contemptuous" race. One of them is supposed to be Bush
detracter and the other a Bush supporter? I can't tell them apart.

Have I ever said anything more critical about the old disassembler
than these guys? I wonder how much hate mail they get, saying they
aren't really citizens, they should leave the country, etc.

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: 'Fun Reading'

At the trial Saddam insisted he is still president, he is still in
charge, despite the fact that his people disapprove of him and his top
assistants are all in jail or going to jail. No, I'm sorry, that's
President Bush." --Jay Leno

"Saddam Hussein's trial started yesterday, were you folks aware of
that? In court he was stubborn and he was defiant. Stubborn and
defiant in insisting that he's still the president. You know, sorta
like Bush." --David Letterman

"There are rumors circulating that because of the CIA leak
investigation, Vice President Dick Cheney would resign and Condoleezza
Rice will take his place. Due to the complex nature of the
arrangement, it had to be explained to the President using puppets."
--Jay Leno

"The results from the Iraqi election are coming in and the Sunnis are
claiming that the election was rigged. So looks like they got an
American-style democracy after all." --David Letterman

"Here's a reminder to Iraq: The crooked voting machines are due back
in Florida by Friday." --David Letterman

"Karl Rove testified in front of the grand jury for the fourth time.
This is the fourth time in front of the grand jury. In fact this time
he had to give his testimony standing up. See the first three times he
lied his ass off, so he had to stand up." --Jay Leno

"You know I love New Orleans, they're vowing to hold Mardi Gras this
year come hell or -- no pun -- high water. This is interesting,
they've always had a Mardi Gras drink called the Hurricane. They're
not going to serve that this year, but they've got a new one called
the FEMA. It's strong, it hits you about a week later." --Bill Maher

"President Bush is taking more liberal positions. For example global
warming. He used to be against it. Now it's the Republican plan for
heating homes this winter." -Jay Leno

"I think the President is losing it. The BBC is reporting that Bush
told a group of Palestinian ministers that God told him to invade
Iraq. You see, that's what happens when you mix the New Testament and
Old Milwaukee." --Bill Maher

"Now here's some sad information coming out of Washington. According
to reports, President Bush may be drinking again. And I thought,
'Well, why not? He's got everybody else drinking.'" --David Letterman

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[CanYoAssDigIt] Re: GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Take your complaints to Home Depot, and  Safeway, and Bank of America, because they have missed your message that we've got one language here. Those commie corporations recognize two languages and one of them is Spanish.

You are a dinosaur, maybe you should think about leaving.

Hasta La Vista, Baby

www.soundclick.com/songpoet

On 10/27/05, musicinthecity < musicinthecity@prodigy.net> wrote:
 

   


There are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some native Americans, need to understand.

First of all, it is not our responsibility to continually try not to offend you in any way. This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity.

As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language, and our own lifestyle. This culture, called the "American Way" has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

Our forefathers fought, bled, and died at places such as Bunker Hill,  San
Juan, Iwo Jima, Normandy, Korea, Vietnam...

We speak English, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or
any other language.  Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society,
learn our language!.

"In God We Trust" is our national motto.  This is not some off-the-wall, Christian, Right Wing, political slogan, it is our national motto. It is engraved in stone in the House of Representatives in our Capitol and it is printed on our currency. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation and this is clearly documented throughout our history.

If it is appropriate for our motto to be inscribed in the halls of our highest level of Government, then it is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.

God is in our pledge, our National Anthem, nearly every patriotic song, and in our founding documents. We honor His birth, death, and resurrection as holidays, and we turn to Him in prayer in times of crisis. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture and we are proud to have Him.

We are proud of our heritage and those who have so honorably defended our freedoms. We celebrate Independence Day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Flag Day. We have parades, picnics, and barbecues where we proudly wave our flag.

As an American, I have the right to wave my flag, sing my national anthem, quote my national motto, and cite my pledge whenever and wherever I choose.

If the Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.  The American culture is our way of life, our heritage, and we are proud of it.

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. Like it or not, this is our country,
our land, and our lifestyle.

Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion about our government, culture, or society, and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom:

THE RIGHT TO LEAVE!

Another thing: To those who do complain about the usage of words like 'God'
and 'American' and speaking the language of our great nation, TRY GOING TO
ANOTHER COUNTRY AND SPEAK AGAINST WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE. YOU WILL MORE THAN LIKELY END UP JAILED OR EVEN KILLED.

In America, you take your right to complain for granted.  The more patriotism that is removed from where our children are taught, the less our children will learn about what it is to be an American and our nation's spirit will slowly be killed.

Keep patriotism alive.

It is time to take a stand!
God Bless America, our Military and all of our Veterans!






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