It's All About Me, Man: 12/07/2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

[ILoveIshtar] Once again, somebody raises the idea of "Isthar: The Musical" like it would be a bad thing....

This blog entry (found at http://www.spout.com/blogs/spoutblog/archive/2008/12/1/37801.aspx) was inspired by a YouTube spoof, "Waterworld: The Musical" (see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRW4sJgtTj0).

Now I thought the vid is quite funny and clever, but I've gone on record as saying I don't understand the widespread derision of Waterworld. I haven't seen it all the way through, but I saw part of it on TV, and while it's no Ishtar, it didn't knock me to the floor clutching my head the way that, say, "National Treasure" did. Well, I do understand... the difference is, of course, that Waterworld was just too weird for a mass audience, and didn't make any money, and National Treasure was successful enough to spawn a sequel. I found it tired, formulaic, lazy, by-the-numbers, cliched, and deeply deeply cynical... but none of that matters. If something loses money it's bad. If it makes money, it's good.

Here's the blog entry:

"Is it that odd to imagine a Waterworld musical on Broadway? After all, Xanadu made it to the big stage, so anything is possible for infamous turkeys like this one. Sure, it looks rather silly in the video below, the way Patrick Warburton and company have made it, but with the right creative team Waterworld could really work as a kitchy cult attraction. Maybe team up two randoms, the way Marvel has with the upcoming Spider-Man show directed by Julie Taymor and featuring music by Bono. Honestly, there seems to be nothing that Broadway producers could announce that's any more ridiculous than what's already been done there.

So, terrible movie-turned-musical ideas may continue to be easy gags, and they're possibly even going to make me laugh, but ultimately I would like to go see Con Air: The Musical (from 30 Rock) and Planet of the Apes: The Musical (from The Simpsons) and musicals made out of Waterworld, The Postman, Battlefield Earth and especially Ishtar. Who would love you, Mariner? I would."

I had to google the Spider-man show to make sure the author hadn't fallen for another spoof... but apparently it's true. Without knowing anything more about it than the information here, it's hard to imagine anything more awful (though as an Ishtar fan, I have to keep an open mind, otherwise I'm the same kind of prejudiced hypocrite as Isthar-haters who've never seen it). It's pretty much a sure thing that whether it's really good or not, if it makes money, people will hail it as good, and if flops, they'll laugh at it and say it was horrible.

It might make an amusing parlor game to take the name of an unlikely movie (examples from real life - "The Eyes of Laura Mars" and "Carrie") and match it with unlikely creatives to come up with bizarre Broadway Musicals. But Ishtar is already almost a musical - they wouldn't need to do much more than unearth the complete songs (by Paul Williams and others).

Who would direct it? Well, I hear that the "ask a ninja" guys from YouTube are remaking "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" - I'd like to see a production of "Ishtar The Musical" directed by Kevin Nalty aka Nalts (http://www.youtube.com/user/nalts).

And as the lovely Shirra Assel, the lovely Venetian Princess (http://www.youtube.com/user/VenetianPrincess)

OK, I'll stop now.
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Love me, love my vids
http://www.youtube.com/user/mattlove1

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