I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Re: if you want to know a little more about me

I think this will be fun.

On Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 8:19 AM, Streeter Steven <stevens@celebrationchurch.net> wrote:
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. My parents always said they expected (correctly, it turned out) that I would be a dim bulb, so they gave me a very simple name - none of first, middle, or last exceeds 4 letters.


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I remember it like it was yesterday. When I read about his widowed bride, something touched me deep inside the day the Music Died (for more dubious assertions about my life, check out:  http://home.earthlink.net/~mattlove1/ApplicationForm.htm

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Prosciutto (had to copy this from the label to get the spelling right - see question number 1) from the Italian Center

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? One that I'm pretty sure is mine


6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would shoot the bastard.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No, I lost them in an titanic tongue-wrestling match with Elizabeth Hurley.  It was not pretty.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?  No, I'm very risk averse, I have not yet done whatever it is that I'm going to do which will secure my place in history.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Life.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?    I don't bother with shoes that have laces anymore.  I try to minimize bending over, my stomach creates such a long detour these days.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?  I am physically strong, but mentally and morally weak.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?  Licorice.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their gender.

15. RED OR PINK? Red

16. WHAT IS THE THING YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT YOURSELF? I am too kind. I am trying to eradicate that trait in myself.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST:  Lulina

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Whip it out.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black Pants.  No shoes, white socks. 

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?  Leftover asparigras.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 
Jian Ghomeshi interviewing Jamie Lidell on the CBC program "Q"

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Brown, like - oh, never mind.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?  Ian
Svenonius' book "The Psychic Soviet" (did he mimeograph that?) Lilacs, whiskey.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?  Ryan Ray.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?  Absolutely.  One of the few!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I don't believe in watching sports. I believe in doing sports.  In extreme moderation these days!

27. HAIR COLOR?  Scalp colored

28. EYE COLOR? Brown

29. Do you wear contacts? No

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Thai spicy seafood soup

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?  Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Ishtar, perhaps the most under-rated movie of the modern era.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING Red.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?   Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Lots of both, from the right people.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?  Berries and cream.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Who knows?

38. LEAST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND Everybody else.

39. What book are you reading now?  None presently.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  No mousepad. I don't even have a mouse.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?  I don't believe in TV.  To clarify, I know it exists, I just don't think we should encourage it by paying attention to it.

42. FAVORITE SOUND: Brazilian twee.  I encourage everybody to join the cult:  http://tramavirtual.uol.com.br/artista.jsp?id=6754

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? For the most part I can't abide the Rolling Stones. Usually I can tolerate the Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Melbourne, Australia.

 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?  Spewing bile.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?  Wenatchee, Washington.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I've learned to not hope for too much.

48. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 15:15 mountain time




--
Love me, love my vids
http://uk.youtube.com/user/mattlove1

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] ah, life

I don't know anything about video games or computer games or whatever the hell they call them these days other than what I read in your column.  So I guess I was kind of unprepared when I was on YouTube and I clicked on a vid that supposedly is supposedly related to my masterful music vid, "Don't Antagonize The Scary Man" and I watched a game from the perspective of the player.

The game was called Postal 2, and what it seems to do is allow you to dismember various innocent bystanders (and police) with a variety of weapons.  Fascinated and repelled, I checked out a few related vids.  The makers of the game are equal opportunity - you can kill blacks and women with the same alacrity (knowing words like that seems to keep me out of the new economy) as white people, and many of the gamers who posted their games on YouTube are firmly on the side of affirmative action, chosing blacks and women as their targets almost exclusively.

I never realized what I was missing, and consumed with jealousy towards those who have been in the know about this, and determined to keep this wonderful new secret to myself as much as possible, I flagged every vid I found as violent, repulsive, hateful or abusive tags.

Now I'm sure little or any of what I've said comes as a surprise to you; since you haven't written about it, I want to thank you for not exposing this zesty, hateful entertainment to the ridicule of the the broader world.  Let's just keep it our little secret - let hate fester in the bedrooms of the diseased little minds of the next generation - our best and brightest hope!


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