It's All About Me, Man

I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Re: [ILoveIshtar] Re: A true story for you

"You really know the lingo" has to be close to the top for me, too. 

There's so many... but I think my current is probably "Most guys'd be ashamed, but you've got the guts to just say 'to hell with it'. You say that you'd rather have nothing than settle for less"

And guess what?  I saw Shirra Assel here in Paris, too.

Well, her picture, anyway, this poster is up all over the city....

On Sat, Apr 26, 2008 at 9:53 AM, Dave Elvin <dave@daveelvin.com> wrote:

Matt Love wrote:

>"Don't hustle me," I said. "l'm from Edmonton. They call me the Canadian
Goose!"

Matt, (sigh) you really know the lingo.

(That, btw, is my favorite line of the entire movie. What's yours?)

Peas,
Dave


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[ILoveIshtar] Re: A true story for you

Matt Love wrote:

>"Don't hustle me," I said. "l'm from Edmonton. They call me the Canadian
Goose!”

Matt, (sigh) you really know the lingo.

(That, btw, is my favorite line of the entire movie. What’s yours?)

Peas,
Dave

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Friday, April 25, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] The Frost Heaves heave again

The Frost Heaves have posted a controversial new song "Assassino" on their Soundclick site.


It has ignited a firestorm of protest, and longtime fans are livid.  The heavies (as the fans are popularly known) decry it as the biggest hard rock sell-out since Kiss went disco with "I was made for loving you."

However, lead guitarist Ludwig Van Frankenstein was quick to respond to these criticisms: "Yeah, maybe it's a little slicker than our past efforts, but it's as drastic, spastic, and stochastic as anything we've ever done."

The absence of even a single yelp from Marge Simpson-soundalike vocalist Trevor Baskerville added credibility to rumors that all is not well with the popular group.

However, sources close to the band denied rumors that Baskerville has left the band, as well as rumors that fellow geriatric metal gods Iron Maiden dropped them from the upcoming Preparation H-sponsored tour, "The Aging Assholes of Metal."

Check out it out and see what you think.

Band page: http://soundclick.com/thefrostheaves

Song page: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6457126
----------------------------------------------------------------------
SoundClick - the social music community  (http://www.soundclick.com)



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[ItsAllAboutMeMan] A true story for you

My wife and I are in Paris. She's here for a conference, I tagged along because... well, if you need for me to explain that, you are from Mars.

Today while she was in the conference, I was sightseeing. I followed my usual practice of wandering until I was good and lost, and then tried to find my way back to the hotel.  Despite the crazy quilt street layout, it was easy to get back, we're about a block from the Arc de Triomphe, which is well signposted, and visually very imposing.

But anyway, I took out my camera to get a picture of some architectural feature that interested me, and a car whips over to the side of the road. I thought he were going to ask for directions. 

"Anglais?"  He asked, having sized me up pretty quickly.

"Yes," I said.

"I am speaking English to you," he said. "Where are you from?"

"Canada."

"Quebec?"

"Alberta," I replied.

"Ah.  My grandfather went to Quebec, so I am speaking English very well.  What is your name?  I am Marcello."

"I'm Matt," and we shook hands.

"I am Italian," he said. "I was here for the (?) fashion exposition.  Now I am going to the airport to return to Italy.  I represent Versace, yadda, yadda, and yadda, all the top Italian houses.  They gave me samples for the people who like Italian fashion.l  Do you like Italian fashion?"

"Don't hustle me," I said. "l'm from Edmonton.  They call me the Canadian Goose!"

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[ILoveIshtar] A true story for you

My wife and I are in Paris. She's here for a conference, I tagged along because... well, if you need for me to explain that, you are from Mars.

Today while she was in the conference, I was sightseeing. I followed my usual practice of wandering until I was good and lost, and then tried to find my way back to the hotel.  Despite the crazy quilt street layout, it was easy to get back, we're about a block from the Arc de Triomphe, which is well signposted, and visually very imposing.

But anyway, I took out my camera to get a picture of some architectural feature that interested me, and a car whips over to the side of the road. I thought he were going to ask for directions. 

"Anglais?"  He asked, having sized me up pretty quickly.

"Yes," I said.

"I am speaking English to you," he said. "Where are you from?"

"Canada."

"Quebec?"

"Alberta," I replied.

"Ah.  My grandfather went to Quebec, so I am speaking English very well.  What is your name?  I am Marcello."

"I'm Matt," and we shook hands.

"I am Italian," he said. "I was here for the (?) fashion exposition.  Now I am going to the airport to return to Italy.  I represent Versace, yadda, yadda, and yadda, all the top Italian houses.  They gave me samples for the people who like Italian fashion.l  Do you like Italian fashion?"

"Don't hustle me," I said. "l'm from Edmonton.  They call me the Canadian Goose!"

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[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Mythbusters goes to Paris

Myth:  French people are rude, especially to English speakers

Reality:  Everybody has been friendly and nice to me, and I've only picked up two French words:  "Bonjur" and "Mercy"

Myth: The French are pussies

Reality:  I've seen at least three variety of uniformed security folks - "Police" who seen cheerful and helpful, "Gendarmes" who look quite fierce, and some for reasons I can't fathom, military personnel in fatigues with rifles that look quite formidable.  How formidable?  Well, I'll leave it to YOU to go up to them and call them "surrender monkeys."  Are you feeling lucky, punk?  Well, are you?

Myth:  French Girls are hairy and smelly

Reality:  Every one I've seen (and I've seen thousands over the last couple of days) has been soft, smooth, creamy, and bare as a newborn baby's butt, and smell as su-weet as an angel's fart.

Thank you for this opportunity to clear up some misconceptions.  That is all.


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