I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

[ILoveIshtar] An Ishtar moment…

Anne and I are here in Sao Paulo, Brazil, having a wonderful time. We came here so I could play some shows with my wonderful friends Lulina and Leo. I perform with them, time permitting, in a group we call the Waiters, and we've done the shows, and they turned out great.  

 

There were some rough patches along the way – we were supposed to have a mini-tour to small cities around Sao Paulo, but Eduardo (Du) the friend/bandmate that was putting it together had to fire the tour organizer – who was not doing his job – and he had to start over from scratch less than a week ago… very Spinal Tap, as are most rock music moments.  And there was one deliciously Isthar moment.

 

The show 2 nights ago was at a place called the Café Elétrico, about 2 miles from our hotel.  We're getting a better sense when and where it's safe to be out and about… Anne and I decided we would walk there – it was mostly flat, and the weather has been agreeable to those used to the chilly northern climate... but if you get lost on the way, it gets more complicated. I was worried about being late, not to mention being out in the gathering darkness, so rather than retrace our steps, we decided to take a cab the rest of the way. It took several cab drivers to consult together to identify our destination... they all use map books, nobody can possibly know the entire city, there are 130,000 streets in Sao Paulo.  So even though we were within a mile of our destination, most of them had never heard of it.

 

No worries about being late - the show was scheduled to start at 8:00, I wanted to get there by 7:00... we actually got there 7:50, but only Six (Lulina's former bass player) and Du were already there... Six's new band Homiepie opened the show not too badly late for a change... I think we came on before 9:30.

 

Being Halloween, and us being the Waiters, I changed into costume - a waiter's uniform I bought at an institutional clothing outfitting store we saw trotting between museums when sight-seeing. It went over very well.

 

What was Spinal Tap about it?  Well, to me, it was much like playing the Air Force officer's club after thinking we were going to be playing an arena – well, a bar anyway.  This was a small coffee shop, the space divided up into 3 small rooms, and we were set up in a tiny little area just outside the kitchen, which worked well for the 3 piece Homiepie, but not the 8 piece Waiters.  I kept having to shift my position so the real waiters could get past me carrying trays of food from the kitchen to the customers.... afterwords I went to sit down with Anne, and I muttered, "Asshole waiters," and she got the reference immediately of course, otherwise I don't think we'd have a very happy marriage.

 

Homiepie was great, and a tough act to follow, and it seemed to me that The Waiters were losing momentum with the audience anyway, and then about 6 songs into the set, we fried the vocal PA amplifier, reminiscent of Nigel Tuftnel's wireless problems at the Air Force gig.   However, unlike Nigel, we cheerfully continued on, cutting a couple songs, and all joining in for a unison singalong to make the vocals heard over the now-turned-down instruments on the songs we did perform.  We finished with "Ugly American" which I "sang" in my best strangled roar.

 

I had to wonder what would happen the next day when we did a show in a Sao Paulo park.  Would we get top billing over the puppet show?  Would we go on a jazz odyssey?

As it turned out, the show in the park went really well... no complaints. But something really bizarre happened…  about an hour before the show, a few of us were sitting there talking, waiting for Du to arrive with the amps and equipment, when we heard a loud cracking - we looked across the park and a big-ass tree, and I mean big,  started coming down - for no apparent reason at all, we watched in horror and fascination as this monster tree - it must have been 30 to 45 feet around at the base - toppled over, taking down huge palm trees with it, snapping them off like toothpicks . It all happened so fast, in just seconds.  Immediately people swarmed across the park and from off the street, working their way through the branches, looking for people trapped under the monster.

 

Miraculously, apparently only one person was hurt - a woman was lead away, holding her arm, looking very shaken, maybe in shock, but able to move without assistance other than people guiding her by her elbow.

 

I have to say that it was far and away the strangest thing that has ever happened at any show I've ever played in... it comes darn close to exploding drummers.

 

    Afterwards I asked Six if this sort of thing happened all the time, or if they just arranged it for Anne and my benefit.  He, and everybody else, was as amazed and shocked as we were.



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