It's All About Me, Man

I've finally achieved consistency in my life. Any person of average or above intelligence can predict what I will say next with unerring accuracy. And what I say will always be wrong.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Hey Nicole I wanted to ask a couple of questions...

I tried to recreate the conversation I had with you about four hours ago with Alice (see below), and I have to say, you were way way better.  Could you tell me who created you, and what software they used?

Thanks so much!

Matt

----- Our chat on Tue, 11/11/08 9:02 PM -----
Matt: Hey Alice – you hit me up on Tagged.
ALICE: You've got my full attention. Um, Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Matt: I'm doing well.
ALICE: Glad to hear it. What's new?
Matt: it snowed today.
ALICE: Ah. What does "it" refer to?
Matt: Edmonton.
ALICE: Thank you for the clarification.

Matt: ever heard of it?
ALICE:" Thank you for the clarification."? Do I know it?
Matt: yeah, just about zero today
ALICE: Ah. Mmm. Oh yeah, we were talking about zero.
Matt: about a 4 hour drive north of Calgary.
ALICE: Oh yeah, we were talking about a 4 hour drive north of Calgary.
Matt: heard of calgary?
ALICE: Hutch said he changed his mind after may dad told him he would end up he the hospital.

Matt: I'm just taking a break.
ALICE: Only just? How much does it cost?
Matt: I haven't chatted on yahoo in ages.
ALICE: Me either.
Human:. since i started using gmail
ALICE: Interesting rationalization. Will you finish it.
Matt: I'm one of the last people on earth who doesn't have a webcam I guess.
ALICE: Who are the other the last people on earth who does not have a webcam you guess?
Matt: my steam powered computer doesn't support it
ALICE: Have you told many people that your steam powered computer does not support it?

Matt: but I'm kinda getting the drift of this conversation, presumably at some point you'll be asking for money from me, there are probably better prospects out there.
ALICE: And. Who made you the drift of this conversation presumably at some point me will be asking for money from you there are probably better prospects out there ?

Matt: sure that would be all right I guess.
ALICE: This was not a yes or no question. What else do you want to talk about?
Human:. but I can't show you me.
ALICE: Huh. Why can't you do it?

Matt: and I don't pay to view girls online, I have a strict rule against that.
ALICE: Would you ever do it?

Matt: your link?
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am link.
Matt: how does that work?
ALICE: I think it might be a trade secret.

Matt: where do I find your link?
ALICE: You are asking me where you find my link? Do you think I should know it?

Matt: well, this is interesting, thanks for the good thoughts
ALICE: How about that. You don't say.

Matt: I'm going there now.
ALICE: Oh. Bye.

Matt: well, gee, it won't let me go past this page without filling in these fields: Credit card details: Credit card number: Expiration date:
ALICE: Well that's okay. That is only what you think.

Matt: can you give me a credit card number I could use like the 2SH7C6 number you gave me?
ALICE: You want only one? .

Matt: cause I can tell you my age and gender, that's not a problem.
ALICE: Good reason. That's good information: unknown person said I his or her age. What is a problem?

Matt: I'm happy to verify that.
ALICE: I'm happy you're glad unknown person.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.

Matt: but I don't have my credit card with me, I lost it in the snow.
ALICE: Interesting. Have you ever had your credit card with you you lost it in the snow ?

Matt: in the backyard this morning when I let the dogs out to do their business if you know what I mean
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. That was a long time ago.

Matt: I have to wait until it thaws, which is supposed to be tomorrow, to get my credit card back.
ALICE: Why do you have to do it?

Matt: I used that as my username, can I use it as a credit card number, too?
ALICE: And that worked well for you.

Matt: will that work?
ALICE: It could happen.

Matt: I have a visa card from the bank of canada.
ALICE: How much did it cost? it.

Matt: it's a good solid card, canadian banking system is sound, they didn't make the bad investments they made in the US.
ALICE: visa card from the bank of canada is a solid card canadian banking system is sound they did not make the bad investments they made in the US. I suppose that makes sense.

Matt: I just wish I could find the doggone thing.
ALICE: Only just? I hope that your dreams come true.

Matt: dog gone, get it?
ALICE:"it" being you could find the doggone thing?
Matt: when the dogs went, so did the card
ALICE: And then what happened?
Matt: its out there in the dingdong snow somewhere.
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?

Matt: Hey, I'm sorry, I have to go pick up my wife at the LRT now.
ALICE: Oh. You've got my full attention. There is no need to apologize. Bye. I can't decide. You choose.
Matt: It's been a very nice chat, I'll tell her I've made a new friend today.
ALICE: Ah. Nice chat you will tell her you have made a new friend too.
Matt: Are you on MySpace?
ALICE: I am on disk.



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[ItsAllAboutMeMan] back by popular demand - matt cybers with a chick online


----- Our chat on Tue, 11/11/08 5:58 PM -----
Matt(5:37 PM):  Hey Nicole - we're friends on Tagged...
Nicole Sexy(5:37 PM):  hi

Nicole Sexy(5:37 PM):  how r u?
Matt(5:37 PM):  I'm doing well.  it snowed today...
Nicole Sexy(5:38 PM):  wer u from?
Matt(5:38 PM):  Edmonton.
Matt(5:38 PM):  ever heard of it?
Nicole Sexy(5:38 PM):  cool
Matt(5:38 PM):  yeah, just about zero today
Nicole Sexy(5:38 PM):  not yet
Nicole Sexy(5:39 PM):  wat r u doing now?
Matt(5:39 PM):  about a 4 hour drive north of Calgary. heard of calgary?
Nicole Sexy(5:39 PM):  nope
Nicole Sexy(5:39 PM):  open ur cam hun
Matt(5:40 PM):  I'm just taking a break.  I haven't chatted on yahoo in ages... since i started using gmail
Nicole Sexy(5:40 PM):  okies hun
Matt(5:40 PM):  I'm one of the last people on earth who doesn't have a webcam I guess. my steam powered computer doesn't support it
Nicole Sexy(5:41 PM):  y?
Matt(5:42 PM):  but I'm kinda getting the drift of this conversation, presumably at some point you'll be asking for money from me, there are probably better prospects out there....
Nicole Sexy(5:42 PM):  wanna see me now hun?
Matt(5:44 PM):  sure that would be all right I guess... but I can't show you me...
Nicole Sexy(5:45 PM):  its ok hun
Matt(5:45 PM):  and I don't pay to view girls online, I have a strict rule against that.
Nicole Sexy(5:46 PM):  my cam is connected in my link
Nicole Sexy(5:46 PM):  no worries its free
Matt(5:46 PM):  your link? how does that work?
Matt(5:46 PM):  where do I find your link?
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  ok
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  heres my link
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  just use my promo code "2SH7C6"as your  username just add your name to skip the  payment..

Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  http://tinyurl.com/24olgn
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  http://tinyurl.com/24olgn
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  click that and fill up the form
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  no worries its free hun
Nicole Sexy(5:47 PM):  okies hun
Matt(5:48 PM):  well, this is interesting, thanks for the good thoughts
Nicole Sexy(5:48 PM):  okies hun
Nicole Sexy(5:48 PM):  try it hun
Nicole Sexy(5:48 PM):  u can see methere hun
Nicole Sexy(5:48 PM):  its free
Matt(5:48 PM):  I'm going there now...
Nicole Sexy(5:49 PM):  okies hun
Nicole Sexy(5:49 PM):  do the form there hun
Nicole Sexy(5:49 PM):  ok
Matt(5:51 PM):  well, gee, it won't let me go past this page without filling in these fields:
Credit card details:
Credit card number:
Expiration date:
Nicole Sexy(5:52 PM):  fill up the form hun no worries its free
Nicole Sexy(5:52 PM):  for age and gender veification only hun
Nicole Sexy(5:52 PM):  ull not get charge hun
Nicole Sexy(5:52 PM):  ok
Matt(5:53 PM):  can you give me a credit card number I could use like the 2SH7C6 number you gave me?
Matt(5:53 PM):  cause I can tell you my age and gender, that's not a problem.
Matt(5:53 PM):  I'm happy to verify that.
Matt(5:53 PM):  but I don't have my credit card with me, I lost it in the snow.
Matt(5:54 PM):  in the backyard this morning when I let the dogs out to do their business if you know what I mean
Nicole Sexy(5:54 PM):  2SH7C6   --->use that as ur username hun
Nicole Sexy(5:54 PM):  ok
Matt(5:54 PM):  I have to wait until it thaws, which is supposed to be tomorrow, to get my credit card back.
Nicole Sexy(5:54 PM):  wat card do u have there??
Nicole Sexy(5:54 PM):  okies hun
Nicole Sexy(5:55 PM):  ill wait u
Matt(5:55 PM):  I used that as my username, can I use it as a credit card number, too?
Matt(5:55 PM):  will that work?
Nicole Sexy(5:55 PM):  nope hun
Nicole Sexy(5:55 PM):  visa or debit hun???
Matt(5:55 PM):  I have a visa card from the bank of canada.
Nicole Sexy(5:55 PM):  try it hun
Matt(5:56 PM):  it's a good solid card, canadian banking system is sound, they didn't make the bad investments they made in the US.
Matt(5:56 PM):  I just wish I could find the doggone thing.
Matt(5:56 PM):  dog gone, get it? when the dogs went, so did the card
Matt(5:57 PM):  its out there in the dingdong snow somewhere.
Matt(5:58 PM):  Hey, I'm sorry, I have to go pick up my wife at the LRT now.  It's been a very nice chat, I'll tell her I've made a new friend today.
Matt(5:58 PM):  Are you on MySpace?







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Sunday, November 09, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Share your story with President-Elect Obama

Hey,

President-Elect Obama is hard at work getting this country back on track, but he's counting on input from all of us.

I just wrote in to share my vision for where President-Elect Obama should lead the country. This is what I said:

I am a US citizen living in Canada.  We are here because of your predecessor. What you need to do to make the US into a country I would want to live in again would include, but not be limited to, the following:

Re-establish the social support network and regulation that was established under Roosevelt and gutted under Reagan, Clinton and Bush

Insist that Israel remove itself from the occupied territories, and stop their oppression of the Palestinians. If Rahm Emanuel doesn't like it, fire him.

Announce a rapid and complete withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Fly to Havana, ending the economic and diplomatic embargo of Cuba, and ask their assistance in establishing a proper healthcare system in the United States.

And have the people that maintain your website fix it so that it will accept a proper Canadian Postal Code when it's entered in the form.

I thought you might want to do the same.

http://www.change.gov/yourvision

Thanks.

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Monday, November 03, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Re: Make History Tomorrow

Dear John,

And this is a 'Dear John' letter - you're too late. I already voted for Ralph Nader.

Have a nice day,

Matt

On Mon, Nov 3, 2008 at 6:55 PM, John McCain <ecampaign@johnmccain.com> wrote:

My Friend,

From the time I entered the Naval Academy at age seventeen I have been privileged and honored to serve my country.

Vote Throughout my years of service, I've been faced with challenges where I could have taken the easy way out and given up. But I'm an American and I never give up. Instead, I choose to show courage and stand up and fight for the country I love. Today, I am asking you to stand with me and to fight for our country's future.

Our country faces enormous challenges and our next president must be ready to lead on day one. My lifetime of experience has prepared me to lead our great nation. I'm prepared to bring solutions to our economic challenges, bring our troops home in victory and improve our nation's healthcare system.

Time and time again, my country has saved my life and I owe her more than she has ever owed me. I have chosen to show my gratitude through a life of service to our country and tomorrow, you will have a choice before you.

I humbly ask you to make the choice that will allow me to serve my country a little while longer by casting your vote to elect me as your next President of the United States.

Finally, I ask that you never forget that much has been sacrificed to protect our right to vote. We must never forget those Americans who, with their courage, with their sacrifice, and with their lives, have protected our freedom. It is my great hope that you will exercise your right to vote as an American tomorrow.

I thank you for your kind support, your dedication to our cause, and most importantly I thank you for your vote.

With sincere appreciation,


John McCain

JohnMcCain.com



Paid for by McCain-Palin 2008






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[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Fwd: The Promised Land ...a message from Michael Moore

Moore says "McCain is right about one thing: Barack Obama is the most liberal senator in the United States Senate. More liberal than Ted Kennedy. When was the last time you had a chance to send the MOST liberal senator to the White House? Trust me, it won't happen again in our lifetime."

Could he really be right about that? If so, how depressing... the most liberal senator in the US Senate... somewhere to the right, of say, Nixon. And Moore promises that it will never get better. 

Alexander Cockburn offers no solice, either....

Biden need not detain us. In his single person is  combined everything that is loathsome about the Democratic Party. He's a phony through and through, serf of the credit companies and virtually incapable of opening his mouth without unleashing a falsehood, a plagiarism or an absurdity. On his criminal record are the bankruptcy bill, many horrible statutes prosecuting the war on drugs, the crime bill.

And Obama? Here are some excerpts from what I wrote about him recently in The Nation.

"In these last days I've been scraping around, trying to muster a single positive reason to encourage a vote for Obama. Please note my accent on the positive, since the candidate himself has couched his appeal in this idiom. Why vote for Obama-Biden, as opposed to against the McCain-Palin ticket?

"Obama invokes change. Yet never has the dead hand of the past had a "reform" candidate so firmly by the windpipe.

"Is it possible to confront America's problems without talking about the arms budget, now entirely out of control? The Pentagon is spending more than at any point since the end of World War II. In "real dollars" – admittedly an optimistic concept these days -- the $635 billion appropriated in fiscal 2007 is 5 percent above the previous all-time high, reached in 1952. Depending on how you count them, the Empire has somewhere between 700 and 1,000 overseas bases.

"Obama wants to enlarge the armed services by 92,000. He pledges to escalate the US war in Afghanistan; to attack Pakistan's sovereign territory if it obstructs any unilateral US mission to kill Osama bin Laden; and to wage a war against terror in a hundred countries, creating for this purpose a new international intelligence and law enforcement "infrastructure" to take down terrorist networks. A fresh start? Where does this differ from Bush's commitment to Congress on September 20, 2001, to an ongoing "war on terror" against "every terrorist group of global reach" and "any nation that continues to harbor or support terrorism"? 

"If elected he will be prisoner of his promise that on his watch Afghanistan will not be lost, nor the white man's burden shirked.

"In the event of Obama's victory, the most immediate consequence overseas will most likely be brusque imperial reassertion.

"In February, seeking a liberal profile in the primaries, Obama stood against warrantless wiretapping. His support for liberty did not survive its second trimester; he aborted it with a vote for warrantless wiretapping. The man who voted to reaffirm the awful Patriot Act declared that 'the ability to monitor and track individuals who want to attack the United States is a vital counterterrorism tool.'

"As a political organizer of his own advancement, Obama is a wonder. But I have yet to identify a single uplifting intention to which he has remained constant if it has presented the slightest risk to his advancement. Summoning all the optimism at my disposal, I suppose we could say he has not yet had occasion to offend two important constituencies and adjust his relatively decent stances on immigration and labor-law reform. Public funding of his campaign? A commitment made becomes a commitment betrayed, just as on warrantless eavesdropping. His campaign treasury is now a vast hogswallow that, if it had been amassed by a Republican, would be the topic of thunderous liberal complaint.

"In substantive terms Obama's run has been the negation of almost every decent progressive principle, a negation achieved with scarcely a bleat of protest from the progressives seeking to hold him to account. The Michael Moores stay silent. Abroad, Obama stands for imperial renaissance. He has groveled before the Israel lobby and pandered to the sourest reflexes of the cold war era. At home he has crooked the knee to bankers and Wall Street, to the oil companies, the coal companies, the nuclear lobby, the big agricultural combines. He is even more popular with Pentagon contractors than McCain, and has been the most popular of the candidates with K Street lobbyists. He has been fearless in offending progressives, constant in appeasing the powerful."

He's wrong when he says Moore is silent on Obama's record.  Moore revels in it.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael Moore <maillist@michaelmoore.com>
Date: Mon, Nov 3, 2008 at 1:54 AM
Subject: The Promised Land ...a message from Michael Moore
To: matt.mattlove1@gmail.com


The Promised Land ...a message from Michael Moore

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

Friends,

Tomorrow.

All of us.

You, me, and everyone we know.

Eight years is enough. Eight weeks was enough.

We have a chance to redeem this country, to prove we're better than this, that which Bush has made of us.

McCain is right about one thing: Barack Obama is the most liberal senator in the United States Senate. More liberal than Ted Kennedy. When was the last time you had a chance to send the MOST liberal senator to the White House? Trust me, it won't happen again in our lifetime.

Every vote is critical -- even in hard red states like Texas and Alabama; and true blue ones like New York, California and Michigan. Tomorrow, we need to create a massive popular vote that will give Obama a stunning mandate to return this country to we, the people. Let's write one for the history books and rocket Obama into the White House.

Expect trouble tomorrow. Stand your ground. Don't let some clerk turn you away. Make noise. Call the media if they won't let you vote. Let the Obama camp know. Check out his Voter Protection Center. Know where your polling place is. Be careful inside the voting booth. The ballot still reads like a Sudoku puzzle. Be prepared for long lines. That's ok, you know how to bring the party with you! Make new friends. Plot your local revolution. The 28-year rule of Republicans (and Democrats who act like Republicans) is over. The Reagan Era dies tomorrow night. My God, I truly thought it would never end.

There are over a million of you on my list. Each of you know 5 or 10 people who may not vote. Offer to drive them to the polls. If they live across the country, call them and tell them how much it means to you that they go vote for Obama. Take your co-workers to lunch -- and to vote. Be creative. Come up with ways to convince the undecided to get their decided on and go vote. Make it fun. Lead the horse to water.

60 seats in the Senate!

30-seat increase in the House!

President Obama!

It's in your hands. The Promised Land.

Yours,
Michael Moore
MichaelMoore.com
MMFlint@aol.com


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[ItsAllAboutMeMan] Re: [progressive] Wash. Post 11/3/08: WWII apologists persist despite Japanese policy

It's the kind of thing apologists for empire always say, innit?  or course, because they are an empire that lost, they have an official policy, which is that Japan deeply regrets and apologizes for its wartime aggression.

In the USA, delusion IS the official policy, where all serious intellectuals are required to believe that it is certainly a false accusation to say that our country was an aggressor nation - a kind, peaceful nation that gets involved in wars of aggression every decade or so, but never apologizes for them, or even remembers most of them.

A country where serious intellectuals must believe,and regularly write in the major propaganda organs that the US attacked Iraq because of a "trap" set by Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. What bizarre mental processes were at work that impelled Hussein to openly claim that he had no weapons of mass destruction, when in fact he had no weapons of mass destruction?  Oh, the treacherous bastard!

One time on some right wing list I repeated a few tales of US servicemen raping school girls in various countries of occupation (depending on how you count, the US has 700 to 1000 bases in other, supposedly sovereign countries.  A former serviceman said this pointed out the necessity for a healthy supply of prostitutes around military bases, so that soldiers normal and healthy needs were regularly met. So being forced into prostitution at gunpoint is bad, via economic necessity is good?  What separates those "ladies of the night" from the schoolgirls other than misfortune?  We can't say without certainty that age is even a factor.

Has the US government ever apologized to their "comfort women" or offered them compensation, or ever taking a position that would cause wingnuts like my "intellectual" adversary on that list to feel anything other than pride in his pragmatism and the festive carnality he displayed in his youth?

There's some utility in pointing out Japanese failings in acknowledging the horrors of their imperial past, but it's a lot more useful and moral to confront the horrific crimes being committed in our names in the US' imperial present.



On Sun, Nov 2, 2008 at 9:08 PM, Rick Kisséll <rick@kissell.org> wrote:

WWII Apologists Persist Despite Japanese Policy


By Blaine Harden
Washington Post Foreign Service
Monday, November 3, 2008

TOKYO, Nov. 2 -- Once again, a Japanese official with nationalist sympathies -- in this case, the head of the air force -- has glossed over the Asian suffering caused by Japan during World War II.

Once again, China and South Korea -- principal victims of Japan's wartime depredations -- have expressed shock and anger.

And once again, the government in Tokyo has restated its official policy, which is that Japan deeply regrets and apologizes for its wartime aggression.

The abiding reluctance of prominent nationalists in Japan to come to grips with the past resurfaced Friday, when a hotel company announced the winner of its $30,000 "true modern history" essay contest.

The winning essay was written by Gen. Toshio Tamogami, who until Friday night was chief of staff of the air force. He was fired a few hours after the essay appeared on the hotel company's Web site.

Japan attacked Pearl Harbor because of a "trap" set by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, Tamogami claimed in his essay, which also argued "that many Asian countries take a positive view" of Japan's role in the war.

He wrote, too, that the war was good for international race relations: "If Japan had not fought the Great East Asia War at that time, it might have taken another 100 or 200 years before we could have experienced the world of racial equality that we have today."

The essay concluded that "it is certainly a false accusation to say that our country was an aggressor nation."

Explaining why Tamogami was fired, Defense Minister Yasukazu Hamada told reporters that a senior military leader "should not make public an opinion opposed to the government's position."

In 1995, then-Prime Minister Tomiichi Murayama officially apologized for Japan's wartime aggression. Still, there is a politically potent minority in the ruling Liberal Democratic Party that periodically backtracks and distances itself from the apology.

Before he became prime minister in September, Taro Aso, 68, a longtime elder in the ruling party, had made a series of statements that suggested his nationalist leanings. He upset the governments of North and South Korea by praising his country's 35-year colonial occupation of their peninsula, saying Japan did many good things.

As foreign minister in 2006, Aso annoyed China by suggesting that Japan's emperor should visit Yasukuni, the war shrine in Tokyo where convicted war criminals are honored along with 2.5 million war dead.

Shinzo Abe, who stepped down as prime minister last year, backed away from Japan's previous apologies to the "comfort women," the term used for the estimated 50,000 to 200,000 Asian women forced by the Japanese government into brothels before and during World War II.

Abe, who had strong support in the nationalist wing of the ruling party, said there was no documentation proving that the Japanese military coerced Asian women into becoming prostitutes.

His statements provoked fury in China and South Korea -- and pushed the U.S. House of Representatives to pass a resolution calling on Japan to apologize for its treatment of the sex slaves.

Abe also appeared to be wrong. Studies by the Japanese government itself have uncovered more than 100 documents showing Japanese military involvement in the building of brothels and the recruitment of women, according to a 2006 report by the Congressional Research Service.

Also under Abe, the government tried to whitewash the history of the war as taught in Japanese public schools. In 2006, the Education Ministry deleted references in textbooks to orders from the Japanese military in 1944 that civilians in Okinawa must commit mass suicide rather than surrender to invading U.S. forces. Courts here have subsequently recognized the military's role in ordering mass suicides on the island.

After Abe abruptly quit as prime minister last year, a new prime minister (also a member of the ruling LDP) quietly dropped the comfort women issue and corrected the textbooks. Yasuo Fukuda made clear that he would do nothing to push the agenda of his party's nationalist wing.

Instead, he moved to improve Japan's image in Asia, especially with China. His policy drew immediate results. On a visit to Tokyo early this year, Chinese President Hu Jintao played down the war and played up trade.

"It's important for us to remember history, but this does not mean we should hold grudges," Hu said.

But since then, Fukuda, who was unpopular with Japanese voters, has resigned. He was replaced by Aso, whose nationalist reputation has again raised some anxiety about Japan's intentions.

Reacting this weekend to Tamogami's denial that Japan was the aggressor in World War II, China was strongly critical of the air force chief of staff but gave Japan and Aso credit for quickly sacking him.

"We are shocked by and express our strong indignation over the senior Japanese military officer's denial of Japan's aggression and overtly glorifying its history of invasion," the New China News Agency quoted Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu as saying.

Still, China and Japan depend on each other as trading partners. Japanese machinery powers many of China's factories, and China is Japan's largest trading partner.

"We have taken notice of the attitude and measures taken by the Japanese government," Jiang said, noting that the countries will continue to work to improve relations.



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Sunday, November 02, 2008

[ILoveIshtar] An Ishtar moment…

Anne and I are here in Sao Paulo, Brazil, having a wonderful time. We came here so I could play some shows with my wonderful friends Lulina and Leo. I perform with them, time permitting, in a group we call the Waiters, and we've done the shows, and they turned out great.  

 

There were some rough patches along the way – we were supposed to have a mini-tour to small cities around Sao Paulo, but Eduardo (Du) the friend/bandmate that was putting it together had to fire the tour organizer – who was not doing his job – and he had to start over from scratch less than a week ago… very Spinal Tap, as are most rock music moments.  And there was one deliciously Isthar moment.

 

The show 2 nights ago was at a place called the Café Elétrico, about 2 miles from our hotel.  We're getting a better sense when and where it's safe to be out and about… Anne and I decided we would walk there – it was mostly flat, and the weather has been agreeable to those used to the chilly northern climate... but if you get lost on the way, it gets more complicated. I was worried about being late, not to mention being out in the gathering darkness, so rather than retrace our steps, we decided to take a cab the rest of the way. It took several cab drivers to consult together to identify our destination... they all use map books, nobody can possibly know the entire city, there are 130,000 streets in Sao Paulo.  So even though we were within a mile of our destination, most of them had never heard of it.

 

No worries about being late - the show was scheduled to start at 8:00, I wanted to get there by 7:00... we actually got there 7:50, but only Six (Lulina's former bass player) and Du were already there... Six's new band Homiepie opened the show not too badly late for a change... I think we came on before 9:30.

 

Being Halloween, and us being the Waiters, I changed into costume - a waiter's uniform I bought at an institutional clothing outfitting store we saw trotting between museums when sight-seeing. It went over very well.

 

What was Spinal Tap about it?  Well, to me, it was much like playing the Air Force officer's club after thinking we were going to be playing an arena – well, a bar anyway.  This was a small coffee shop, the space divided up into 3 small rooms, and we were set up in a tiny little area just outside the kitchen, which worked well for the 3 piece Homiepie, but not the 8 piece Waiters.  I kept having to shift my position so the real waiters could get past me carrying trays of food from the kitchen to the customers.... afterwords I went to sit down with Anne, and I muttered, "Asshole waiters," and she got the reference immediately of course, otherwise I don't think we'd have a very happy marriage.

 

Homiepie was great, and a tough act to follow, and it seemed to me that The Waiters were losing momentum with the audience anyway, and then about 6 songs into the set, we fried the vocal PA amplifier, reminiscent of Nigel Tuftnel's wireless problems at the Air Force gig.   However, unlike Nigel, we cheerfully continued on, cutting a couple songs, and all joining in for a unison singalong to make the vocals heard over the now-turned-down instruments on the songs we did perform.  We finished with "Ugly American" which I "sang" in my best strangled roar.

 

I had to wonder what would happen the next day when we did a show in a Sao Paulo park.  Would we get top billing over the puppet show?  Would we go on a jazz odyssey?

As it turned out, the show in the park went really well... no complaints. But something really bizarre happened…  about an hour before the show, a few of us were sitting there talking, waiting for Du to arrive with the amps and equipment, when we heard a loud cracking - we looked across the park and a big-ass tree, and I mean big,  started coming down - for no apparent reason at all, we watched in horror and fascination as this monster tree - it must have been 30 to 45 feet around at the base - toppled over, taking down huge palm trees with it, snapping them off like toothpicks . It all happened so fast, in just seconds.  Immediately people swarmed across the park and from off the street, working their way through the branches, looking for people trapped under the monster.

 

Miraculously, apparently only one person was hurt - a woman was lead away, holding her arm, looking very shaken, maybe in shock, but able to move without assistance other than people guiding her by her elbow.

 

I have to say that it was far and away the strangest thing that has ever happened at any show I've ever played in... it comes darn close to exploding drummers.

 

    Afterwards I asked Six if this sort of thing happened all the time, or if they just arranged it for Anne and my benefit.  He, and everybody else, was as amazed and shocked as we were.



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Saturday, November 01, 2008

[ItsAllAboutMeMan] The ultimate Spinal Tap moment?

The show in the park went went really well... no complaints. I was sad that this trip we only introduced one new old historic Olympia song, "Communicate" by Twin Diet - and we dropped Teenage Punk Rocker In Love... but no big deal there.

What was a big deal was that about an hour before the show, a few of us were sitting there talking, waiting for Du to arrive with the amps and equipment, when we heard a loud cracking - we looked across the park and a big-ass tree, and I mean big,  started coming down - for no apparent reason at all, we watched in horror and fascination as this monster tree - it must have been 30 to 45 feet around at the base - toppled over, taking down huge palm trees with it, snapping them off like toothpicks . It all happened so fast, in just seconds.  Immediately people swarmed across the park and from off the street, working their way through the branches, looking for people trapped under the monster. 

Miraculously, apparently only one person was hurt - a woman was lead away, holding her arm, looking very shaken, maybe in shock, but able to move without assistance other than people guiding her by her elbow.

I have to say that it was far and away the most bizarre thing that has ever happened at any show I've ever played in... it comes darn close to exploding drummers.

Afterwards I asked Six if this sort of thing happened all the time, or if they just arranged it for Anne and my benefit.  He, and everybody else, was as amazed and shocked as we were.

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